This Too Shall Pass? #%$& THAT!

I try not to swear too much here on my blog.  I try to use it for what swearing should be used for – emphasis.

I am not big on the F-bomb but I am not afraid to drop it if I feel the need…need not just urge.

Bouncing bomb principle as used by the Dambust...
F-Bomb Away!

That being said – I am FUCKING IRRITATED!!!!

Why?  I’ll get to that when I do but first I thought this is the perfect example of how, if I was not aware of the physical/emotional connection of my illness I could go off the deep end – fast.  0-lost in 10 seconds flat.  I am fighting it for sure and because I have decided to be …

whatever here’s the deal –

All of a sudden my comments are getting sent to spam boxes everywhere.  By everywhere I mean every blog that I post a comment on.  The few that don’t is because they were able to rectify the situation on their end by marking me “NOT SPAM” or however but to those of you that did it and brought it to my attention as well – thank you..

I am talking about blogs I have posted comments on daily sometimes more than once a day for months…MONTHS! Now suddenly I am spam.  Spam isn’t that bad, I like it with macaroni and cheese but spam is spam by any other name….

SPAM! [don't buy]
I am not Spam, Sam I am
Spam did not start out as Lizziecracked of Running Naked with Scissors and then get its name changed just because.

 I know this because SPAM has been around a lot longer than I have.  

It is starting to really wear on me.   I don’t always look in my spam box so  I don’t think a lot of other people do either.  The frustration of crafting a comment – cause I do craft them with much thought despite the random nature and appearance of them – and then hitting the post button only to see……NOTHING is getting old.

What did I do to deserve this?  How am I suddenly spam?  I feel censored and restricted I feel down right repressed, oppressed, just plain pissed now.

IF I wasn’t on top of the bipolar factor I would be in a shitstorm of emotional mush and darkness right now because here is what happens…  When you have a strong emotional reaction to something – in this case being oppressed, you tend to get a physical reaction that goes with it – in this case racing heartbeat, the urge to throw something and agitation.  (Is agitation a physical thing or an emotion?)  You follow so far?

When your brain is relatively normal (let’s call it NOT BIPOLAR for our purposes) you can talk yourself down and control the physical reaction by being logical and rational about the whole damn mess – however when your brain is not that normal (read BIPOLAR) the physical reaction sets off a chain reaction and your brain goes haywire with all sorts of stupid irrational shit that feeds off the physical reaction which is typically felt as fear, as well as feeds into it.

Are you still with me?  Fear.. fear makes us do crazy things, think crazy things and is my main trigger.  Others have different triggers – mine is fear and when I have a physical reaction anything close to FEAR I read fear and react accordingly and by the time I am done the whole world is crashing down around me and everybody hates me and I am a terrible person.

Follow either a manic or depressive episode usually.  Either north or south of normal anyways.

All ridiculous and something I have been able to control through CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  For the most part anyhow.

But I can only hang in there so long...  before I give in to it.  And this comment issue is wearing on me at a fast pace.

I know, I know, This too shall pass….

but when?

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27 thoughts on “This Too Shall Pass? #%$& THAT!”

  1. “SPAM has been around a lot longer than I have.”
    In some cases, this refers to individual cans…

    You do seem to be holding it together – you put up several posts, and your posts and comments have been classic lizziec.

    Keep rocking, Lizzie!
    *off to check my spam bin…*

  2. I am not sure if this happens to me too, but it would explain why people don’t respond all that often. haha

    I’m just glad I don’t have to do those are you human tests with the letters that are impossible to read.

  3. This is what happens when we rely too heavily on algorithms instead of thinking. For whatever reason, your title is keying into common spam phrases, most likely.

    I hope it turns around for you.

    1. hmmmmmmm – it just started not too many days ago. Actually FB started blocking me from sharing my posts – they still publish to my page but if I try to copy the link and share like I have done every day for however long I have been doing this they tell me I can’t because there is a spammy link. and the link goes to the monkey on my right sidebar…been with me from the almost beginning. Now the other interesting thing is the first post they did this on was….the internet secret and then it was just a couple days after that my comments started going to spam boxes on WP…
      THank you!

  4. If it makes you feel any better… In our (half-Hawai’ian) household, SPAM is a Revered Item! In fact, my husband has a TATTOO of the Hawai’i commemorative Spam can… 😉

  6. Note to self: Check spam folder for any of Lizzie’s comments. If you find any there, don’t tell her. Let’s keep it between us.

    As Guapo said, you have total control, and that’s all that matters. btw, when “normal” people go ballistic, what’s our excuse? 🙂

    1. I don’t know – maybe we should ask someone normal? 😉

      maybe this wasn’t the best issue to use to illustrate – however I think that truly it isn’t THAT big of deal and that most people would not go ballistic? At least not right away… I guess i missed my point – damn I told it to call first so I would know it was coming.

      So just our of curiousity – what was in your spam box?
      🙂 Peace

  9. Every once in a while, you must drop the F bomb. Cause life is just like that sometimes. Hope you’re ‘spam free’ real soon!

    Nancy

    1. hee hee me too..I was looking back over the week I guess I was pretty riled up. I am getting it fixed TODAY (I hope 🙂 ) but at least I know that m comments are not just floating around although there are a few that I haven’t accounted for yet but Thanks and yeah some times the F Bomb just is the best way to do it huh?
      🙂

  10. That is frustrating… I edited my post with a link to your blog…which I meant to do in the first place… but my brain tends to forget allot. LOL.
    Thanks for this post, I would have never thought to check the spam box. Grrrrr…

    1. Thank you so much! It’s ok about the forgetful thing I totally get it – that and oh look a butterfly! I did leave another comment on your post and I am now too diligently checking my spam filter. I got behind on it because I almost never found anything there that wasn’t spam anyways. I do have to say I am glad we have that but I am going to be bugging WP to get their problem fixed – cause it is their after all 🙂

    1. Thanks for your understanding 🙂 It seems that the word is spreading and as the ones I commented that ended up in SPAM declare I don;t belong there it is getting better – still hold my breath when I hit post though – I probably should have just kept commenting the first night it happened but I really thought they were flyng away – like tweets lol…I am sending WP support a note I’d really like to know what put me on the radar…I’ll let ya know when I do though 🙂

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