I try not to swear too much here on my blog. I try to use it for what swearing should be used for – emphasis.
I am not big on the F-bomb but I am not afraid to drop it if I feel the need…need not just urge.
That being said – I am FUCKING IRRITATED!!!!
Why? I’ll get to that when I do but first I thought this is the perfect example of how, if I was not aware of the physical/emotional connection of my illness I could go off the deep end – fast. 0-lost in 10 seconds flat. I am fighting it for sure and because I have decided to be …
whatever here’s the deal –
All of a sudden my comments are getting sent to spam boxes everywhere. By everywhere I mean every blog that I post a comment on. The few that don’t is because they were able to rectify the situation on their end by marking me “NOT SPAM” or however but to those of you that did it and brought it to my attention as well – thank you..
I am talking about blogs I have posted comments on daily sometimes more than once a day for months…MONTHS! Now suddenly I am spam. Spam isn’t that bad, I like it with macaroni and cheese but spam is spam by any other name….Spam did not start out as Lizziecracked of Running Naked with Scissors and then get its name changed just because.
I know this because SPAM has been around a lot longer than I have.
It is starting to really wear on me. I don’t always look in my spam box so I don’t think a lot of other people do either. The frustration of crafting a comment – cause I do craft them with much thought despite the random nature and appearance of them – and then hitting the post button only to see……NOTHING is getting old.
What did I do to deserve this? How am I suddenly spam? I feel censored and restricted I feel down right repressed, oppressed, just plain pissed now.
IF I wasn’t on top of the bipolar factor I would be in a shitstorm of emotional mush and darkness right now because here is what happens… When you have a strong emotional reaction to something – in this case being oppressed, you tend to get a physical reaction that goes with it – in this case racing heartbeat, the urge to throw something and agitation. (Is agitation a physical thing or an emotion?) You follow so far?
When your brain is relatively normal (let’s call it NOT BIPOLAR for our purposes) you can talk yourself down and control the physical reaction by being logical and rational about the whole damn mess – however when your brain is not that normal (read BIPOLAR) the physical reaction sets off a chain reaction and your brain goes haywire with all sorts of stupid irrational shit that feeds off the physical reaction which is typically felt as fear, as well as feeds into it.
Are you still with me? Fear.. fear makes us do crazy things, think crazy things and is my main trigger. Others have different triggers – mine is fear and when I have a physical reaction anything close to FEAR I read fear and react accordingly and by the time I am done the whole world is crashing down around me and everybody hates me and I am a terrible person.
Follow either a manic or depressive episode usually. Either north or south of normal anyways.
All ridiculous and something I have been able to control through CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. For the most part anyhow.
But I can only hang in there so long... before I give in to it. And this comment issue is wearing on me at a fast pace.
I know, I know, This too shall pass….
- Musings: A Spamification Situation… (seraphim6.wordpress.com)
- Spam cracks me up! (redawakening.com)
- Spam and More Spam (eclectic24.wordpress.com)
- Kendo spam (drusillah.wordpress.com)
- 5 Hilarious Spam Comments In This Website! (theilongga.wordpress.com)
- What’s The Point Of Spam Comments? (1stepup2stepsback.wordpress.com)