You Only Want What You Want

Lizzie and I were talking about something entirely different, when Clyde butted in, as he always does, with a sharp right turn. Want to see what the orang has to say while I hijack Lizzie’s blog for the day?

Right Turn, Clyde!

Humans say some really revealing things if you take the time to listen. For example, have you ever heard?

You only want what you want.”

While this seems like a completely needless thing to say, its context can make it mean something entirely different.

I could want these all day everyday.

I could want these all day everyday.

On the surface, it means if we do not express desire for something, we do not want it; those with Spartan lifestyles use it to express their  penchant for keeping very little, specifically only those things which are functional or specific to their environments.

Others use the adage to mean the one we got was not exactly the one we wanted. It is a way to complain about a gift given with the best intentions or to the best of the ability of the giver. In short, it is a snide comment made by an ingrate. No, this is not an extension of ITTTC; this is the receiver being dishonest with the giver.

Stalker

Recently, this adage surfaced on an emotional level. The user expressed it as an exclusionary statement in a different way. Normally, it would translate to You are not my type. Instead, it meant I do not want you, but I do not want you with just anyone.

Confused? So was Clyde. How about a touch more background.

Stalker, our pet name for the adage-user, told Target You are not my type, even as a friend. One would normally take this rejection and move on. Target did; Stalker did not. What did Stalker do?

  • Put Target’s house under surveillance (Stalker plus friends)
  • Appeared where Target’s children would be
  • Surveyed homes of Target’s friends
  • Electronic observation of Target’s social media
  • Friending of Target’s friends

The last one is the scariest because the effort was to recruit Target’s friends to move Target in the direction Stalker wanted Target to go, specifically, away from certain people of whom Stalker did not approve.

Fantasy

We often want for our friends, and especially our exes, they be happy in whatever relationship augments or replaces the one one we have/had. The largest part of that desire is knowing they will not reappear in our lives because they are content with someone else.

Occasionally, we fantasize our exes would find the one person who is so like them they could be conjoined twins, separated at birth; ergo, they can finally see what living with themselves was like. Like all fantasies, it is merely a dream.

Twisted

What just desserts would be better than Target finding someone who was the same type? Stalker decided what would be better would be to dissuade anyone and everyone seeking to friend (or more) Target until Stalker found an acceptable (only in Stalker’s mind) suitor.

Enter Ape

Find the truth "Any Which Way You Can"

Find the truth “Any Which Way You Can”

Stalker is not taking the typical stance which is outlined in three chapters of the Stalkers’ Guide to Being a Complete Douche:

If I cannot have you, no one will.”

Instead, Stalker is attempting to put Target into a relationship where Stalker has control or can ensure Target stays in a relationship where the circumstances are not optimal under any measure beyond the (twisted) one in Stalker’s estimation.

It is enough to make an ape wonder.

Quietly confused,

red-sig

Why would anyone want to control the life of a person in whom one does not have enough interest to have a relationship? What is there about rejection which makes us try the impossible to circumvent it?

Hashtags: #rejection #psychology #stalkers via @TheM3Blog

redinterviewThank you for sharing The M3 Blog and Running Naked With Scissors with hashtags.

If you would like Clyde to take a turn at your blog, click his image. Thank you for taking a few moments with Lizzie, me and Clyde.

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60 responses to “You Only Want What You Want

  1. Pingback: Kidnapped or Runaway? | The M3 Blog·

  2. This stalker character could easily end up as Zombie fodder with annoying traits such as this, but seriously how controlling can someone get? :( As for why would anyone choose to do this is beyond me, obviously a screw has come loose :( It certainly does make an ape wonder…

    Nice to see you on here Red :) :)

    Andro xxxx

  3. I don’t grok control over others. I get it but don’t understand.

    On a lighter note, I when I’m sitting in the exam room waiting for my oncologist to come in I always know when she’s coming because she always wears lovely, noisy high heels. Her shoes are a bit more conservative than yours though. She also does my hair (saw that one on a tee-shirt).

    • I have known more than my fair share of those, but this one is more than any other I have encountered. Thank you for stopping by today, Binky.

  4. This post scares me. I’ve had stalkers, and one was close to this. There was a pretense of wanting a relationship to gain control, only to be exposed later. I never had the intensity of the surveillance like this, though. It all happened before the digital boom. Phew!

    • it is alarming isn;t it Gail? I say we go on a hunting.. i mean field trip.. but don’t tell anyone it’s like hunting wabbits – be vewy vewy quiet..then they never see is two whacky chicks who can do crazy for real coming and …what do you say? I think we could nip it in the BUTT i mean bud.. ♥

      • This trip will be like the line from Aladdin… “You would be amazed what you can live through.” *wicked evil grin*

  5. Hey guess what – when you got comments..get comments ? well they were for you and since you are here.. I did not get the notifications under my little orange glow light – or rather my phone app..and the internet was in and out all day so I didnt even see it on the computter til now… not that it makes a bit of difference except I am late to the party – can I like a post on my own blog?
    Thanks for running the show today.. I think it was a hit – Clyde does always like to change the subject but it makes for interesting thought ..

    I do not have a stalker.. but the whole wanting to control my life without participating in it… I just think its about not thinking they are enough – …self esteem is definitely an issue… not good enough (in their own mind) to be an equal part of your life.. but can;t let go because it is their own shortcomings not yours even though they may tell you ..
    then control freak thing

    I actually have no clue.. my brain hurts.. but I do not like to hear of such silly behavior.. only I am allowed to stalk. I have permission. (you did sign the release right? :-P )
    the folly of the bullshit… will it ever stop?
    Thanks for hanging out at my place.. feel free to kick off your shoes and stay as long as you like.. MUAH!

    • I got the stack of release forms. After the origami session I signed one or two.

      It is a self-esteem issue. Truly a lopsided ego: enough sense of self to deem control of others appropriate for their own well-being but so atrophied on the other side as to create insecurities. It is a head shaker. This person needs help, but likely will never get it.
      xxx

      • Did I mention the shoes up there are the ones that come with three in a pair (hahaha) you know so you can leave one in their ass? ( walking down the street with three shoes on – two on your feet and one in your ass!) does wonder for the obtuse..mumblesljkdjemumblemumblemumble ha!

  6. Pingback: Saturday. Tuesday. What’s the difference? | The M3 Blog·

  7. Here is my solution in a nutshell.

    Stalker needs a swift ass kicking then a boot in the nads just for good measure and for the satisfaction of kicking him when he is down. I am nothing if not thorough.

    There is simply something twisted in disinterest but still hanging on. Spiteful and ugly.

  8. Stalker is quite creepy. Fortunately I never have one, at least that I know of.
    And I never stalk either…unless you count internet stalking over my favorite celebrities ;)

    • I am fairly certain celebrity internet stalking is overlooked by the authorities. I would venture the guess they would prefer you stalk them on the ‘net. xxx

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