Bipolar Bytes; You Can’t Color Me Normal, so that makes me…wrong?

Welcome to another edition of Bipolar Bytes, offering little bits and insights on this interestingly whack illness, good and bad, for those of you interested to know what it’s all about.  Maybe you have it, or you have a friend or loved one who has it, and maybe you just are the curious type who seeks knowledge to stamp out the ignorance that causes stigma and pain for so many who suffer, and thrive with this illness.

Trastorno Bipolar

We do thrive ya know, and that is the point of the title Bipolar show the good of what is often seen as a miserable illness, in little bits of information, easily processed.

Also because it does bite at times, so I just played with my words a little,  I do that sometimes.  I am easily amused what can I say?

First my handy-dandy disclaimer, because I can, it’s free, and I think it covers me against anything I can’t foresee by not letting you take my advice as anything but what it is.  Just me talking some shit.

The information below or after, herein, forthwith or wherever it is in relation to this paragraph,  is my understanding, and my best effort to provide simpler explanations of a complex disorder.    There is a lot of information out there and some of it contradicts itself  – how ironic, but typically you get the same basis of fact as to what this disorder is and how it affects people who have it.  I have struggled with the best way to share with you as one, I am not one to do research, I will if I have to, but its tedious and too constricting, something that takes the enjoyment  out of writing for me and gives me a headache.   Two, being a serious procrastinator, if I waited until all the research was solid, well we wouldn’t be here.  I am not a professional, not even an expert bipolar patient, more of a rebellious one I think .  I won’t put anything out to you that isn’t verifiable and while I am trying to educate, please seek the help of a professional if you are ill, or someone you love is or you suspect they are.  Hereafter the statement of covering my ass shall be simply referred to as te CYA / CMA and referred back to this nonsense that covers my ass.  I think   I will have to check with the legal department but I think saying – get a second opinion if you want to act on any information contained herein should do it right?  I suck at this kind of thing.  

Today, I want to talk about something from a completely personal perspective.  Not just something, obviously as we have established, bipolar disorder and what is wrong with the people who suffer from it…



There is nothing WRONG with us, we just aren’t normal.  No matter how you color it, even though I have realized in my endeavors to relate bipolar to normal, I have no real understanding of normal.  It’s kind of a thing I have noticed of late.

I notice the people who point the fingers and act all chicken shit about being around bipolar people (can we not debate the terminology today?  It isn’t the point), usually when asked to say what normal is, either are unable to put it into words or ignore the request for clarification all together.  True Story.

So let’s pull out our trusty dictionary and see what it says about normal, shall we?

nor·mal Adjective /ˈnôrməl/

adjective: regular, standard, ordinary, common, usual,perpendicular
noun: normality, normalcy, perpendicular

  1. Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected
    • it’s quite normal for puppies to bolt their food
    • normal working hours
  2. (of a person) Free from physical or mental disorders
  3. (of a line, ray, or other linear feature) Intersecting a given line or surface at right angles
  4. (of a salt solution) Containing the same salt concentration as the blood
  5. (of a solution) Containing one gram-equivalent of solute per liter
  6. Denoting a fault or faulting in which a relative downward movement occurred in the strata situated on the upper side of the fault plane
Bipolar, Bipolar Label
does this say wrong?

Adjective,,yes of course and I see how definition 2 specifically covers the mental disorder – which of course then explains how Bipolar people are not normal.

Well that tells me nothing.  Except that you can properly say I am not normal, or abnormal if you like, without having to qualify your idea of normal. Great.

Did you notice the synonyms?  I don’t see wrong.

Do you?


I do see usual, typical, ordinary, standard, expected…

I don’t see anything wrong with not being those things.

Bipolar disorder affects every part of the body and soul.  It’s physical and mental and those who have it often have difficulties in daily functioning, cognitive abilities, relationships, social interaction, physical impairment or affliction…

It;s not easy being bipolar but maybe if it was just considered abnormal and those who have it weren’t made to feel wrong or like there is something wrong with them, it wouldn’t be as hard as it is.  Maybe the difficulties would just be that and not something we hide from everyone because it’s wrong to admit you don’t function like normal people.  (or so it seems)

Maybe it isn’t just about bipolar.

There is nothing that says just because you are not normal, there is something wrong with you.

Am I wrong?

I mean about the statement.  I already know I am not normal.  It’s kind of a good color on me though don’t you think?

Here are a few things about Bipolar that are not normal;  (they are outside the standard, typical and usual)

People with bipolar disorder tend to be:

Vincent van Gogh, The Starry Night. Oil on can...

  • highly creative
  • highly intuitive
  • highly emotional
  • highly intelligent
  • highly sensitive
  • highly irregular  (no not the need Exlax kind, in terms of circadian rhythm.  Sleep, eat, stuff like that.  oh..yea that too but not entirely) 

What’s wrong with any of that?  Believe it or not, wrong is not a synonym for one of those, not even irregular.

Just saying.  Hope I didn’t bite off more than I can chew.

Lizzie Cracked never broken

34 thoughts on “Bipolar Bytes; You Can’t Color Me Normal, so that makes me…wrong?

  1. thanks for this…I’m a longtime Lizzie fan and bi-polar but it’s comforting to read this.

    we’re not normal, and that’s what’s makes us awesome.

    1. Ya know I wrote you out a reply this morning and it was friggin awesome..
      The the little stupid button got in tbe way I’m on ny phone here and it disappeared. That my friend is wrong for real..not you or I or anyone like us ..or unlike us really.. I’m having a moment..or ten being pissed and just venting.. we are just different and only because we are comparing to the 75% non bipolar..if you got you me and say two more like us one nonbipolar… then what would normal look like .. ? I’m angry I’m tired and hurt.. mostly..just tired and wsnting to get it all out of my system see if it brings any relief..
      Anyone down there your way wants to say you are wrong cause you are different . Point out that yiu have a gift they enjoy that most likely sprjngs from what they consider wrong.. you can tell a hell of a story ..and then it because you are bipolar? Eh..chicken egg..I think those 4 or 5 things I mentioned are true.. but that’s a debate for another day . When I feel like proving it.. for me and you and all of us who are awesome and different .. if they still insist you are wrong .. well I’m pretty peaceful so I won’t suggest..kicking their ass.. but I will stand up for anyone I see being mistreated for being different… and I’m a little crazy.. so yea..
      Thanks for your suppport . and getting it.. it gives me a reason to keep on.. ya know?

  2. I have always had a little “rebel” inside myself that bucked the system. As soon as something becomes a “fad”, “in”, or considered something everyone “should” have; I don’t want it any more. My friends are usually kinda “quirky”; my friends are like night and day because I appreciate each one of them for their unique personality.
    I hate labels, ADD, OCD, Manic, ; society wants boring, obedient, clones. Anyone who doesn’t fit in the prescribed box is labelled and made to feel some thing is “wrong” with them. Why do they have to be flawed in some way if they walk to the beat of a different drum. Who decided what was normal? What if THEY were wrong?
    I don’t mean to minimize the disorder and I know people with it suffer with depression etc. But I like my friends to have a personality, give me quirky, some one that has a different view than me, someone who can teach me something, challenge me.
    Now a days if you don’t have perfect capped white teeth, boob that at perky when you’re 80 and no wrinkles

  3. You clearly are a left Brainer which is more of a disorder than your assumed Bipolar disorder.
    So what brain dead Dr gave you this diagnosis ?
    These are the very people the mystic’s were referring to when they said…Physician Heal Thyself.

    You seem to be more hyper Active than Bipolar. But your left brained rationalizations are totally ignorant.
    Your problem is you went to School and got programmed by Satan’s institutions.
    You have no Free Will.

    That’s okay, when you die all of your preconceived idea’s about Dualism will be wiped out for death like Government Manufactured Pharmaceutical Quality LSD, not only is it a final cleansing of the “Doors of Perception” It is a final cleansing of all those preconceived ideas that were programmed into you from infancy on by your parents, Society and your peers.

    “The Child’s Toys and the old man’s reason’s are the fruits of two different season’s.
    Wm Blake

    Am I advocating the use of LSD, Sorry but it’s gone there is no such thing anymore it died back in the late Sixties.

    But in all honesty you don’t need Psycho Active’s to deprogram yourself.
    Just Desire.

    I really need to retort to your last post about your belief that all people lie. That one I had to print out so that I could eat it.

    You are a trip.

    I hope I meet you ten years from now and see what you speak tomorrow.

    Peace & Love and remember it is your birth right to be happy, So be happy Lizzie.
    After all there is something to be said for Physiognomy.

    “IAM” Jaime

    “He whose Face sheds no Light Shall never become a Star.”
    Wm Blake

    1. Lol .. hmmm. Well I am happy mostly. I am not sure what to make of you I certainly enjoy your comments although this one seems to have put me on the defensive just a tad.. ill have to look into that I guess. Just because I accept the bipolar label..does not mean I will go willingly to the prescribed..remedies nor supposed management.. I do have free will .we all do. There is always a choice..even when we think we have none..

      I wonder what you might come up with for me after reading my book? I am not the sum of one or two as well or badly written as they may be…essays on my view of the world at the given moment.

      Bipolar.. yea I tried the denial thing but I am all tbat it is.. and more. Doesnt mean I’m ignorant or a drugged out medicated left brain… I dunno..I dont even remember all of your arguments. I do look forward to your comments tho.. I am only a chick trying to find a place .
      If you had known me before I came to this place . You most likely woild have passed over my words ..I have come a long way .and still have a long way to go. I’m happy. Free as I can e at this moment and angry as hell.. how else shall I get it out of my head..
      Ignorant is not a word I have been forced to eat as of yet..

      That is but another word for..wrong? Well not so much but uneducated unlettered and unenlightened..and I admit next to you.. I may seem so. I am not close minded though and eager to learn.. is that not a counter to being ignorant?

      Whichever..I am mostly tired.
      Thanks for you input..I do value it..
      And will consider it.. in wondering.

      1. Hi Lizzie,
        First off, Let me thank you for letting me articulate my thoughts here.
        I re-act to some of your thoughts because they are in conflict with my understanding of “Truth” and “Principle” also I’m 64 yrs old and I’ve read hundreds of books and speak mostly from personal experience and Principle.

        I would also like to tell you I do not always have a lot of time on my hands to jump on my computer and type out posts.
        I had both of my parents move in with me because they are both handicapped and I’m their caregiver.
        They raised me and took care of me, now it’s my turn to take care of them.

        “The most Sublime act is to set another before you.”
        Wm Blake

        Note…You will never be able to understand the Human Psyche with the rational mind, for the rational mind of man is at enmity with Conscience.
        Before we get into that I’d like to tell you of a personal experience of mine that I had back in the mid seventies.

        I was living in Ventura Calif and was driving north with my ex-wife heading north, I was getting very hungry and got off on las posas Rd and told my wife let’s get something to eat, As I got off the freeway there was a Carl’s Junior on the left side of the street, I had turned left and pulled in.
        As I was getting out of my car there was from out of nowhere it seemed a police car blocking me in with his lights on.

        As I was getting out of the car, The cop says to me, do you know you just made an illegal left hand turn, I had said Oh.
        He says yes you did I’m going to have to give you a ticket but this ticket is going to save your life.
        So I said to him, How’s this ticket going to save my life?

        He then starts going off on me saying…”WHAT IF” there was a car coming down the road and hit you and killed you & your wife.
        So Now he’s challenging me, my awareness. So I had said to him WHAT IF huh! I’ll tell you what…WHAT IF someone drives by right now and blows your brains out with a three fifty seven magnum?
        WHAT IF the earth flips upside down right now and starts to oscilate rapid oscilation? You know we can what if from now til forever.
        Now WHAT IF is the belief in a probable future circumstance that may or may not happen . Now WHAT is is reality not WHAT IF. What is is I made a left hand turn into the parking lot and no hit me, that’s reality What is, not what if.

        So now he’s a little shaking up and he says to me…You can tell it to the judge.
        I had said…Tell it the judge? I’m just going to pay the ticket, you think I’m going to go into the court room and talk to some biased bigoted Judge whose mind is so rooted to the idea of Dualism that he can’t perceive anything else.

        Well now he’s just writing the ticket as fast as he can, he just wants to get out of there now.

        May I tell you Lizzie those two words WHAT IF haunted me for weeks, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I’m a sensitive and have been that way my whole life.
        I kept saying to myself okay God what are you trying to tell me, so one night in my meditations it was revealed to me that there was potential in those words that I had the power to affect life with them.

        earlier back in the late seventies I had been reading the Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung and I had remembered him saying that the only reason people saw UFO’s was because so many people believed in them that they literally believed them into existence.
        Well okay I believed that because from my understanding of Mysticism….”It is the belief in a thing that makes it so and not the thing itself.”

        Now Jung would also talk about how we are all part of this Collective Unconscious which is a word we do not use in mysticism we call it the Collective Subconscious. The Subconscious neither slumbers nor sleeps.

        So WHAT IF…”There was no such thing as Cancer? I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist, I’m saying that WHAT IF the only reason that it exists is because so many people believe in it that they literally believe it into existence?

        Now I’m not done here. But before I end this post I would like to tell you that the power of suggestion is constantly being used to influence individual and collective consciousness thru the media.
        Which brings us to your last post to me about Lying, how we all lie. Generalizing. The opposite of generals is particulars.
        As a matter of fact General knowledge is remote knowledge it is the knowledge which idiots possess. It is in Particulars that wisdom consists and happiness too.

        Having studied Etymology & Semantics we will move over to the particular knowledge of words and why people lie.
        Until then.
        Peace Love & Happiness and may Imagination keep you from single vision and Newton’s Sleep.
        Luv Ya,
        “IAM” Jaime

      2. Feel free to articulate anytime..
        In terms of what if and what is.. I understand what you are thought is what if is living in fear.. what what is .. what if you got hit..what if I fell and impaled my naked self on my very scissors after stubbing my bare toe? Well it isn’t so why stress over it? It isn’t what is..anf if it had been what was.. the end result could not have been the same..
        I say if you..or I want to play the what if game play it . The end..

        I have often thought how is it someone who feels right as rain goes for an appt …is told they have cancer and 6 weeks later they are dead. What If …they never went to the dr. ?

        What if I never got a diagnisis of bipolar..what is would be.. me wondering why I’m so weird, abnormal.. auite possibly still stuck in what’s wrong with me . I dont take meds ..regularly..and o have stopped tryi g to change me to fit they…because it doesnt work for me..

        Generalizations are bunk there are always exceptions and the are the practicalitg and lazy way peoole deal with groups of people.. I commited a heinous brutalization of my own values on particulars by making the ultimate generalization.. we all lie..however the particulars this case I know but did not articulate overly well.. is that we dont all lie the same way . I am o erly honest person ..I do not tell the truth all the time.. ask me how I am..if I think u dont reallg want to be botbered …or to say it outloud would wrecm the facade I wear for others comfort.. ( ahh but not so much as I get older..thus my purpose in learning here) I lie and tell u I’m fine.. but if u have ever seen.. Our Idiot Brother.. crap I’m not sure that is the right title.. well yea.. gullible..trusting.. honest without thought of consequence… I would be the dork to sell the damn weed to a uniformed police officer.
        Bipolar people ..are more likely to commit suicide I fear tbat as an end for me because of power of suggestion no. It was there before anything exolained it… but now I understand it is what is . It is natural for me but that doesnt mean I will do it..because it has been suggested to me as a relief.. pain is pain. Surely if we were not taught love is monogomous and to have a life long partner and …the big lie ya know? Would losing a love ..a significant other be so heart painful..? But that is not what is… is it? And losing someone hurts . Bad. That IS.
        Dualism.. I need to look this up.. and I have had a sudden rekindling interest in William Blake..
        Just saying. Thank you for your thoughts. They do more then you may know..

  4. I Think you are going to find this an Interesting Lecture.

    The term “Conditioned Reflex” was originated by the Russian Scientist Pavlov, in his famous experiments with dogs. The Name is only new to us in mysticism, for in Mysticism we call it “Conditioned

    But Pavlov’s experiments are a very good example of the Mental/Spiritual Nature of the Law’s of Cause and Effect, and these experiments are quite convincing.
    Our discussion of them is for the purpose of providing another insight into the “Mental-Spiritual” Nature of Man.

    Pavlov gave a hungry dog a piece of Meat immediately after ringing a bell. Every day Pavlov would come out ring a bell and give the dog a piece of meat.
    After a while the dog began to Associate the bell with the Meat. Through repeated association of bell and meat, the dog began to salivate, it was as if the bell were the meat. Every time the dog heard the bell he would Salivate.
    Pavlov Coins the term “Conditioned Reflex”.

    Now The conditioned Reflex in dogs or Men does not involve Volitional Thinking. There is no “Free Will”. Once the Conditioned Reflex is Trained (Programmed) into the individual He/She becomes an Automaton

    Now comes the Question…”Is it possible to condition other Neurological mechanisms?

    Let me give you an Example…The Pupillary reflex is completely involuntary, When light shines into the pupil, It Contracts, when the light is removed, the Pupil Dilates. The subject has no control over the over it. No Free Will.

    Now comes a guy by the man of C. V. Hudgins who parallels Pavlov and Conditions the Pupillary Reflex.

    Hudgins takes a Subject and conditions the pupillary Reflex. the Pupil was first conditioned to a bell with the light. Each time that the light was lit, Hudgins would have the subject push a button which rang a bell and Hudgins would say the Word Contract.
    After several hours of Training (Programming) Hudgins found that he could eliminate the bell, the hand-grip and the light. The sound of the word “Contract” Spoken by him had acquired the “Power” to force an involuntary Contraction of the Pupil.

    That is some pretty damn good Hypnosis. It takes a Light to do that. Through conditioning it had been possible to build a control of that which was otherwise uncontrollable.

    Now what does a spectator see when a good subject is Hypnotized ?
    The hypnotist speaks to the subject in a soporific voice…”Your eyes are Heavy, you are getting sleepy, et cetera, Soon they drift off to sleep.

    Doesn’t it seem plausible that in what are called good subjects, the Word “Heavy” was associated with heavy feelings and that the repetition of the word “Heavy” acted as a Bell of past associations?

    In a sense Hypnotists are people who ring standard bells and find some people to salivate to them.

    Now in Mysticism, we say “Words are the Bells of Conditioned Reflexes.”
    Words are Sounds. We use our teeth, our lips and our breath and we make Explosive Cluttering noise’s called Sounds and there is nothing Peculiar in words as Sounds. A sound is a Sound.
    But what does a Sound Mean? And Who gave it, it’s meaning?

    What is the Psychic force behind it?

    The most intriguing thing behind all of this, is that the Sound of the word had the power to force an Involuntary Contraction of the Pupil.

    In our Study of Etymology and Semantics we will see the Cause’s & Effect’s of Sounds and how words Become the Bells of Conditioned reflexes.

    In the next few Lectures we are going to move over to Tom Laughlin and his presentation of Jungian Psychology, and how it relates to Pavlov.

    What we are going to Learn is,

    The Power of the Spoken Word, (SOUNDS). Where our Center is and more importantly…HOW STRONG ARE WE AT OUR CENTER?

    Phineas B. Quimby would say, “Man Acts as he is Acted upon.”
    Andrew Salter relates in his book, “Conditioned Reflex Therapy” (To which you are referred for further reading on this subject, especially in regard to the way the psychologists are beginning to use the Conditioned Reflex) That it is possible to condition other neurological mechanisms besides the Salivary Reflex.

    More to Come

    “IAM” Jaime Galati

    Lizzie, I still love your posts, You are stll very inspirational for my Psyche.

    1. I did indeed find it most interesting – familiar with Pavlov of course, did not know about the other one.. I heard the gears kick in inside my head whilst reading and I don’t know what it all means ..but i am thinking on it.. I am half tempted – more than – to offer you space on my blog other than the comments.. you may go over my own word count which is not a small feat when I get going .. lol.. I even have a category for ridiculous word count..true story. Anyways I am rambling ..tired and just wanted to acknowledge I read what you took the time to give to me and to me it is curiouser and curiouser..did I fall into a rabbit hole or did you pop out of one? either way.. it is fine with me.

  5. Hi Lizzie,
    You know I told you that I was a teacher of Christian Mysticism. You keep mentioning Suicide, I hope you are not going to do something stupid that you will regret tomorrow.

    If you were to do that you would be Murdering two people…Lizzie & Christ who lives in you.
    Girl, I am not a religionist, I am a very Spiritual person. There is a vast difference.
    So let me say this to you…”Whom God has afflicted he comforts and heals and calls them friends.”
    Whom does he afflict?
    He does it to himself. God became man so that may could become God.

    If you were to break your arm today and say I’m in so much pain well may I tell you God suffers right along with you because he became you.
    Note…”No man or Woman could enter into Conscious existence without the crucifixion of God onto this tree of Matter.

    When God enters deaths door the human skull, he walks thru the furnaces of affliction with you.

    There is no Secular History in the Bible the Bible is the history of Salvation and is wholly supernatural. It is totally contemporary history.

    Besides all of this, you are a very intelligent Spirit and you have so much potential to help others not to mention all the people here who love and care for you.
    Sincerely yours,
    “IAM” Jaime
    Ps. I’m a Vietnam Vet I was there in 1969. Later on down the road I’ll tell you how I had to Deprogram myself, Because the VA wouldn’t do Shit for me.

    1. .I dont know that you outright told me that actually..
      The topic interests me only as to the prevelent attitude society has about it. I am no longer afraid of it…as a subject..only the action. I have no plans to carry out anything that destructive.. just maybe write a post about it.. maybe. In truth I have written mucb but have published none on it… it gets people agitated. I have too many things on my bucket list. Have you read it? You can find it in the features from the home page or the archive page.. called “what is it about buckets?” I hope you will read it.

  6. Heavens to Mergatroid. Now that I am past all of the double talk and hocus pocus… Normal is a setting on the dryer. Nothing more. Nothing less. I despise the “normal” label as much asd I do all the rest. I am content with “human”… and with some of the behavior I have seen, I am not so certain I want to be associated with it either.

    1. cayght that little slip huh? What in the world was I thinking? Of course wrong is not a synonym for normal and now I’m wondering.. what if its s synonym for abnormal.. then I can just .. laugh and movr on I guess .. I only caught it yesterday..

      This makes no NOOOO SENSE..unless intent is the same as good delivery.. UG!! I dont have a normal on my dryer btw.. it says .. wrong .. setting.. :-p

      1. No, no. The synonyms for abnormal are interesting, flavorful, abstract, alluring, attractive, unique.
        *wicked grins*

      2. Not your hocus pocus. I followed that rather well. The epistles in the comments which are so genuinely OT as to be written by houseboy Captain Tangent. xxx

      1. Nah, I was asleep on the porch.
        Didn’t see anything… 😉

        Just saying you live your life in bolder strokes than the rest of us, even though we all have the same inside.

      2. Gotcha.
        Good to know the glitter running through my what we all have..I was starting to worry. 😉 sitting on the porch enjoying the sultry summer air? Is it raining?

      3. thick..I like swampy, it leaves not much room for doubt, although I guess its all relative .. when I read it I said yes! it’s swampy that’s it! 112 with 24% humidity (hi TMWGITU 🙂 ) hell I know its like nothing to some but when the humidity doubles in 24 hours you feel it whether its 10 or 50 percent. Kids say its been raining a lot where they are. Watch out for those pesky swamp things while you nap on the porch I hear since the tv series is no more they are a mischieveous lot – oh yea there was more than one.. like the baby on Full House was really twins see?

  7. Great article, I totally agree. I have a mental illness myself and it dose not make me feel different from anyone else. You and I are no different from the next person, and we do need to tell that to the world.

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