Wow, look at that…

one day where an insane amount of money is spent on cards candy and um..oh, flowers.

all in the name of getting lucky,  laid

I mean LOVE.  In the name of love..with a capital L, as in Love

So I thought it only fitting,

Today’s Mental Moment …

is about tax time.

ok I am just kidding it’s about Looovvvveeeee.  Love and Valentine’s Day.

There are pretty much two kinds of people when this day rolls around every year, the ones who love it, and the ones who hate it.   There are those who have no clue it’s here or gone because they don’t care at all so I guess that makes three kinds of people, unless you can think of another group?

The first two are generally the ones who are loud though.  Not loud as in yelling loud unless….um,.. they have unruly offspring?

Loud as in grand gestures and big declarations and marriage and ..stuff.   Those would be the lovers.

The haters are bitter and resentful.  Or they may just hate the commercialism and the opportunity to once again be singled out as not having a significant other thus no reason to get their hopes up or go buy something naughty to wear or chocolate to eat or….  great big stupid stuffed animals that are largely overpriced and you would never consider buying for anyone, much less have for yourself,

or have it yourself, much less buy for another?  Yea that sounds right ok…

Except that is what they sell to procrastinators going to Walgreens at 7 pm on Valentines night to get something quick so they are sure to get lucky. That and velvet roses.

Procrastinator I am, that was not me. Just saying.  I have some dignity when it comes to stuff like that.

So the assumption is the lovers are the lovers and the haters are the non lovers…as in unattached, nonparticipating, unbusy, unhappy..

did I miss any?  Probably but I am not trying to rub it in, more.

I think it’s crap.  I have been both, when I was both, or I have been a hater when  I was married and lover when I was, unattached.  It’s true.  I talked about my feelings on Valentine’s day last year, I pretty much wanted to know why if we have a day to celebrate love, well why cant everyday be to celebrate love.

So I haven’t received any response from whoever is in charge of answering those questions and , I am not a hater.  Not fair to the single unattached and unbusy on Feb 14, to assume they are bitter and hateful for that reason.  I am not at all.  Just because it is assumed if you are a couple, attached and busy on the 14th you are lovers ..of the day.  Some of the most in love people I know aren’t big fans.

What really sucks for the ..first group is if you are looking for love, attachment or something to do, you are most likely sol around this time of year and dare i say, especially if you are a girl. because the commercialism that lends weight to the weight of the date, has many, ok I’ll dare say mostly men hiding for the fact they dont want to date, find new love or meet anyone, then be obligated to recognize them on Valentine’s day quite possibly only due to guilt., and may time run the risk of getting kicked tho the curb, after they spend money on the little trollop.

To be fair, there are guys who will break up with a girl right before VDay- and even any holiday that requires thought..ful and gift bearing participation.  That sucks and it especially sucks for someone like me, who got over getting over VDay a long time ago.. yes the whole sordid secret admirer thing in school and ..never mind.

We treat each other so great.

Anyways, last night I found myself on a  inernentdatingsite..oh look a butterfly!    Not really sorry.

An internet dating site.  It has been a while and I was pulled to the promise of new features with 17% likelihood to be able to go out with the number one on your list.  My list I mean, the one I don;t have but that is beside the point

Whatever.

I have an account at this particular one, although my profile is hidden.  why have it?  I know, but not today.. that’s another story.

Anyways I was compelled to update said profile, or thought I was anyways.  I actually was but nothing came of it, as in, it’s still hidden.

I know I  am taking an inordinate amount words to get to the point today but bear with me please, I have to fit my annual Valentine Day rant, um tribute, whatever it is, AND the Mental Moment.  So you are getting a two for one.  Kind of like the stuffed animals at Walgreen’s tonight, only a lot more useful.

So I am going through the questions and stuff and it hit me.  Valentine’s day in theory is a really great day.  A day to show the one you love, you love them by doing special things for them and ..stuff. . Unfortunately the stuff has become a lot of commercialism that isn;t really necessary except its easier to spend money to buy a premade card, then it is to write our own ..along with the idea of the homemade not being as valuable as store-bought.

We all know this.. on some level.  Its become leverage for woman at times  – yea try not getting your gf something and see what you get.. yea I did mean that… wrong as it is, hey it works and we will most definitely revisit the topic soon but for now .. leverage and ..obligatory fluff that is a pain in the a** for men because, yes there are who want to do the grand gesture, who doesn’t at one point or another but after a few years… it’s the fodder for many a relationship joke, or something.

Commercialism has made the holiday superficial, surface scratch for what is meant to be.  It’s about ..

Online dating is doing the same for relationships.  People. Love itself.

Consider This:

We have become a society that for the most part is content with the surface, not wanting or willing, and happening  soon or even as we speak, forgetting how to really deeply connect with someone….

Oh no I hear, we all want the deep abiding love and feeling of being connected, we matter and have a soul mate or whatever.  Yea…want it we do, but are we really trying to keep it?  Or are we giving into life in 30 second flashes and now starting to expect our relationships to be the same way?

If we are surfing the net and don’t like a page, we click off… well for those of you who don’t frequent the dating world or dating sites, we click off people too.. except they are living and breathing and hurting people, capable of deep and abiding love.  When I say click off them I don’t mean the internet them.

Online dating has made meeting someone a mindless crapshoot, apparent in the buzzword profiles, trying to make the biggest impact on the people reading them, packing in as much information as we can, where it used to be about learning about someone.  If you learn it, it stays longer than is you are just told it.

They use money too to perpetuate this attitude, the “respectable” sites costing a pretty penny to join which they get out of you with a..money back guarantee.

People don;t even know what to say about themselves, not anything new but telling, especially when you consider so many of these “buzzwords” are how people define themselves, and many are not really even reading what they put out there, not reading the people they send messages to, don;t know what they are doing but don’t want to do more, and they date someone and the first sign of something being amiss.. poof.. gone.. like long gone.

The free sites, most are not, give you a free account then when you get a message, they tell you if you want to see it, you have to upgrade, or worse they let you look at the profile and message, then you have to upgrade to answer.  That is powerful marketing.  And it perpetuates the about me to get you hooked, whether it is truly you or your online persona, or who you think you are but ask all your friends (3 of them ) and they would say you are anything but..loyal honest and caring.

Look what marketing has done for Valentine’s day, it has gone from a day to honor love, to a measure of love.  and that is fact.  I have heard from too many who were given nothing or not what they wanted, they must not love me.  That is really sad.

The measure of love being the gift received is becoming commonplace with the younger generation, and I can see why.

Online dating has gone from being a place to interact and find another to ..whatever with, to another bazillion dollar industry preying on the need for companionship.

More bang for the buck at what price?

To Your Mental State, whatevver it may be,

This is something I would maybe like to continue on another Mental Moment.. a two parter, kind of like this was a rant and a MM .. for love.

But until then, Happy Valentine’s day, I hope you found a way to make it not only chocolately (that is a must, no matter what ..)  fun filled and …meaningful.