Sometimes it seems that life, that which happens when we are trying to get where we want to be, can be better than getting to where we want to be. The journey better than the destination.
Or maybe it is the destination that is the sweetest and the journey is what we reflect on after we get there. I am not sure.
But, I am happy.
Having moved, I guess it is easy to point out that I am at one destination, and now that the hassle and the stress and the crap is over, of course I am happy, and it is indeed, then, the destination. I think of it more as a pit stop. A potty break if you want to get really plain about it. Where I am now is not where I saw myself being five years ago, but I am not at all unhappy about the difference.
Each milestone in our lives is indeed a destination, planned or not, and the path to get there is not always the easiest or fastest way to go. Yet if we measure our lives only by the things ahead of us, the goals we have, the dreams we reach for, the aspirations that we try so very hard for and that sometimes dictate every step of the way, are we not missing the real point?
Living. Life. Just being.
There will come a day when there is no more ahead of us. No more time that is. As humans, we should always have a dream or goal, always try to be better everyday than we were the day before. I for one don’t want the day that my number is called to be regretful because I was only trying to get to point Z, and having not made it, and run out of time, feel that my life was a failure.
Everything we do, every part of the journey is a lesson. Reaching one destination, we should always aspire for the next. Achieving a goal, we should always make a new one. Or deciding that goal is not within our reach, that the limitations of our bodies, for surely if it were up to only our minds, we could and would achieve greatness, each and every one of us.
My mind takes me to spectacular heights, and having a mental illness, maybe it is my mind that holds me back from the achieving, maybe it is my mind that puts the limitations on me, but my mind can dream endlessly anyways.
Rather than barreling through every step to get to where our next milestone, destination, or goal awaits, taking pause at each step and embracing it and thinking about what we learned from what just happened seems a more fulfilling way to exist. That to me is living. It’s annoying to some that know me. I don’t plan. I fly by the seat of my pants. I just do and feel and be.
The inherent problem with that kind of living is I suppose, more stress sometimes. For example, moving. If I had planned better and thought things out more thoroughly, maybe it would have been a smooth transition. As it was, it took a little longer, and the emotional investment was more than I thought, and I lost some things that I had. But they were just things.
I had a thought while we were pulling stuff from the closets, and stuffing things into boxes that I didn’t really need all this stuff. Granted, it isn’t ALL mine, but I have quite a few boxes of stuff from my past lives that I just can’t seem to let go of. The funny thing, or highly annoying thing, depending on your point of view, is that I haven’t even opened them and only have a glimmer of an idea if what is in them.
I haven’t opened them since moving from Nevada to here how many years ago. Yet when the opportunity to unburden myself of this extra baggage arises, such as in a hasty unplanned and ill prepared move, I just can not bring myself to do it. I think my biggest thought is that some of the kids baby pictures may be in there. The ones I know I have somewhere, yet can;t seem to locate. At least that is what my brain tells me, and I cling tightly to them with every intention of opening them after we are settled in the new place and the dust clears. That never seems to happen because of course then the sense of urgency is gone.
Maybe that is how my brain limits me from goals that are not for me. By hanging on to the past, in the form of tangible, stuff that weighs me down. I kinda feel like it marks my journey I guess. Reminds me of how I got to the destination.
I won’t be a different person without this stuff. Just a lighter version. I am afraid if I let it go I will forget. I think that is the truth behind it.
One thing I have learned over the last years is that the truly great things, and the really bad things, and the things that really mean something, are not in a box, and throwing a box away, even if it has pictures, will not take away those things that you are meant to hang on to. The things that made you who you are, that taught you the lessons that formed your way of life.
So as I sit here on my patio, and the sun is setting on this fine Spring day that has offered me, once again, a place to rest and a new starting point to my next potty break, I have come to a conclusion and made a decision.
It’s ok that I don;t know where I am going. I will get there one way or another. Life like this may have room for more regret but also more surprises and certainly less disappointment. I will just take joy in each day. Live, love and laugh. And hope.
Oh, and never stop dreaming.
One goal I have is that when I die, everything that I own, is down to only the things I loved and held special meaning and things I needed to live day-to-day. That I will have either by then passed all my boxes on to my children to sift through the pieces of my life and keep what they would like, or I have just been able to let go. And all that I have that marks the steps of my journey to that destination, will fit into one box.
Ok, maybe two.
Lizzie Cracked (not broken – at all)
- A Life Changing Moment (thoughtsforeveryone.wordpress.com)
- Setting Goals Needs A Self-Reflective Approach (jameseberts.com)
- 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy (skeptycal.wordpress.com)
- Fear, the final frontier (mychroniclife.wordpress.com)
- An Interview with Eckhart Tolle by Mary O’Malley (evolutionarymystic.wordpress.com)
- Life is fun…Live it! (unwrappingminds.wordpress.com)
- Reflecting on Forever’s Momentum (rahkytopia.wordpress.com)
- Tonight, I had a dream… (freemefrommyself.wordpress.com)
- No one can make it better for you but yourself (kiplimochemirmir.wordpress.com)
- Live life as Art: To flow in your own Journal (flowingwriter.wordpress.com)
- Achieving Lucid Dreams (socyberty.com)
- Meditation (dimbeswar.wordpress.com)
- Reflective Tuesday’s: Just Jump (chiclittleblackdress.wordpress.com)
- The Zen of Dart Throwing (walkintwoworlds.wordpress.com)
- Strengthen Your Mind (inspirationalperspective.com)
- Prepare Yourself for the Journey (ryeder.wordpress.com)