Just be Glad… The Eleventh Holiday Mental Moment

How do you want to finish that sentence?  

How many ways can you think to finish it?  There are numerous possibilities just as a finish this sentence.  Less if you have some context to put it in, like talking to your kids after Christmas comes, or heck just in relation to the Holidays.

Just be glad…999882-267

you got anything at all.

you didn’t have to eat that.

she didn’t wrap the cat again this year.

you had food a house and electricity.

Ok, I am sure you get the idea by now.  How about,

Just be glad.    – period.  ?

Today’s Holiday Mental Moment …   

is about being just glad, happy, grateful.   For whatever it is you got for Christmas, what you have,  and all that stuff.  And disappointment.

Sometimes in our excitement and amongst all our big plans we forget to be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is, not what we think it should be, or expected it to be.

See life is funny that way.

Not a monkey

When we plan things, like holidays and other events that are fodder for longterm memories, we tend to not plan in the things that could throw a wrench or 5 into our plans.  The result is the actual event does not match the build up in out minds and we are disappointed.  You know what I mean?

When we plan weddings we don’t plan for rain.

We forget about little quirks that drive us batty about family members when planning a holiday dinner.

When we picture ourselves opening up the perfect gift we have waited all year for and dropped a million hints so of course we will get it, we don’t plan on Santa getting wires crossed and getting a copy of  The Missing Link, instead of a new kitchen sink.

In our plans and dreams and ideals, we don’t add broken  bones or trips to the hospital, sick pets or kids, deaths or births even, no matter how imminent we know either is.  We don’t often think through the not so great things that could dampen the glow and warmth and stuff.  Tell me I am wrong.

Then we are hurt, defeated,  sad, depressed. critical, ungrateful….  etc.

Much of time when we feel hurt, and defeated,  it is something called disappointment and many times,  we have done it to ourselves more than anyone can do it to us.

Holidays are prime time for hurt, sadness, defeat and disappointment on many different fronts, but the worst is the home front, as in your own mind.  Once we figure this out, and think a little differently, we might find that we sail through the holidays unfazed.  Mostly.

I am not totally sure on that, but  I can say to a certain degree that you don;t get as bummed and blue if you are aware of the contingencies, or adopt a nothing surprises your anymore attitude.

It may come naturally with age, I don’t know.

not perfect -  my nose is crooked :-)

not perfect – my nose is crooked :-)

Not saying at all I am perfect or that I am not ever disappointed or surprised or taken aback by the way things end up turning out.  Oh no, my mind sometimes works secretly, not divulging the idealistic version of my life, and I may not realize I am disappointed until I feel like crying, or throwing up, or throwing something.  Then I usually have to retreat to the Lizzie Cave. (what?  I have one in my head) think about what it is and whether I am really truly completely hit between the eyes with a brick I didn;t see coming, or if I just failed to acknowledge the other possibilities and was, without realizing it, planning on sunshine and perfect manners.   It is not too often that it turns out being a brick.  Hindsight is great for that kind of stuff.

There is a time or two where no matter how much you planned and thought through all the possibilities good or bad, you are caught like a deer in the headlights with no other recourse, but to wallow in bitter despair.   We often wallow too much from things we could foretell, or at least consider the possibility of when dreaming the event or whatever it is in our mind.  Like planning for rain when you plan your wedding, it could happen, happens a lot actually, so why does it have to be a my day was ruined kind of thing.

All those things that we don’t plan on?  That’s life.  Real life.

Sometimes I think that we deny we are really alive.  I don’t know.

A good example, I had a goal for 12 Holiday Mental Moments by the 24th of Dec.  I gave myself a lot of wiggle room.  I know myself somewhat, and really, my true goal, the one I would have still considered myself a success at that particular thing, was the last on the 25th.

All of a sudden I decided I would give you 12 profound holiday Mental Moments,  and I let my brain get carried away with how …oh never mind, the point is I got carried away and didn;t think of the things that could go wrong or make it different from how I saw it in my head.

Instead of getting too upset and defeated,  I am glad that it happened this way.  Why?  Because as much as nobody wants to talk about the other side or think about the other side, there are a lot of people really affected by the other side, by the letdown and the disappointment.  It is a sort of  profound moment.

Whether it is in the gift that they got, or the family acting its normal dysfunctional self instead of suddenly being “normal”,  or no snow, or whatever happened, it is kind of common and its worse because nobody talks about it.  They pretend like everything was perfect.

And it probably was as perfect as it could be, just with life included, but they don’t believe it and just don’t want to let on they are unhappy because they don’t want to appear ungrateful, petty, or whatever else that is not on the shiny people list of traits to have.

It;s ok to be disappointed, and let down and hurt.  We don’t have to be shiny all the time.  If there is perfection in this world. it is not human beings.  Except the ones that can admit that we are never perfect, and not beat themselves up ever when they don’t meet their own expectations.  Hmmmmm, ok don’t get hung up on that too long.  Nobody is perfect ok?

If you realize that a lot of it is just because it’s life and we don’t usually plan on life, it’s easier to get over.

Easier to turn it around and be glad for what we did get or the time we did spend or whatever happened.

I am living proof.  Just be glad.

It really works sometimes.  Whether you are disappointed, or hurt, or hit with a brick that you didn’t see coming.

Just be glad that you are alive.

For the last time this holiday season, at least from me, here is Clark Griswold and disappointment.  Extreme.  And some was indeed the brick. but some his own vision that did not plan for life getting in the way.

May we be blessed with plenty of love, however life sees fit to throw it at us.

To your Mental State, whatever it may be

blogsignaturexmas

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19 responses to “Just be Glad… The Eleventh Holiday Mental Moment

  1. Dear Lizzie,
    Thank you so much for this post! I have had a rocky holiday season, but come away with it feeliing glad…that I am warm, fed, loved, and cherished. There’s no shame in disappointment, it’s human like you say. We should have holiday moments throughout the whole year. Peaks and valleys don’t take a break because of the calendar, or what our wishes are. I secretly wondered what my mental state would be day to day through the past five days. I had to take it as it comes, and tried hard, but had my moments, or hours, of not making the mark, or misunderstanding, or feeling hurt. I had to witness rivalry, and bitterness, and I myself got caught up in my own anger and disappointment in people. It’s okay, it’s just always okay. Thank you for the reminder we’re alive, that’s the point!
    Love,
    Gail

    • you are welcome – I am glad you weathered it well :-) I had my moments too for sure. But its life and life has a way of throwing a few curve balls now and then – but the anticipation and planning wouldnt be as much fun and excitement if everything always went smoothly either would it? Didn’t think of that one but it makes sense too..<3

  2. Life takes us for a loop, and focuses on the wrong thing amplifies the journey. If instance, I used to like to answer the “How’s your weekend?” question by saying it was great because three things happened …. I woke up Saturday, Sunday, and Monday …. and considering the options, that’s good enough for me.

    • And that is exactly the attitude that helps us e grateful for the small things and for what we have- Hope your Christmas was wonderful and you got what you wanted from Santa :-)

  3. I am rather glad I do not count the presents before they are unwrapped. I had a grandmother who was terrific at wrapping empty boxes and putting the wrong tags on things. *grins*

    I hope you have had a great holiday. xxx <3

    • there’s the spirit! Oh the tag on the wrong box what fun – grandma used to buy all the men and all the women the same thing after her memory started to go. Often we would have the same gift to the same person 4 or 5 times. Its one thing when its a a wrench or snap button western style shirt and another all together when it is $50 visa gift cards :-) I am glad my family is pretty much honest ;-) It was lovely and I hope yours was too
      Much love <3

  4. It’s all about the moments.
    And if we’re lucky, we can find at least something to cheer us, even in the darkest ones.

    Another excellent mental moment on not getting too caught up in the small stuff!

  5. Yes, the holidays can produce some strange moments! :)

    I missed Christmas as I slept through it, but I was missed by my friends, so I guess it wasn’t a complete bust… :)

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin (I also have a crooked nose – my dad broke it when I was 8yo.)

    • Mine is crooked from – well I am not sure it has been broken but its crooked more at the bottom see it goes to the right – my right , like it got smashed down for too long and can;t pop back up. I slept the day after Christmas 17 blissful hours – hope your weather dried out and good to see you :-)

  6. Pingback: Buried Alive | My Message·

  7. I always loved that movie!

    I am glad my wife in law was in town and we got to annoy my two sons for two days, it was marvelous. Christmas either brings out the best or the worst in people doesn’t it.

    • That it does. Sounds like you had a lot of fun! This is my number one favorite Christmas Movie I watch it every year. Does that say anything weird about me? I mean because I don;t think It’s a Wonderful Life – or Christmas Story, although that one is pretty good too, are the best. I like the one with the dysfunctional hilarity.. brings out my best :-)

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