How do you want to finish that sentence?
How many ways can you think to finish it? There are numerous possibilities just as a finish this sentence. Less if you have some context to put it in, like talking to your kids after Christmas comes, or heck just in relation to the Holidays.
Just be glad…
you got anything at all.
you didn’t have to eat that.
she didn’t wrap the cat again this year.
you had food a house and electricity.
Ok, I am sure you get the idea by now. How about,
Just be glad. - period. ?
Today’s Holiday Mental Moment …
is about being just glad, happy, grateful. For whatever it is you got for Christmas, what you have, and all that stuff. And disappointment.
Sometimes in our excitement and amongst all our big plans we forget to be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is, not what we think it should be, or expected it to be.
See life is funny that way.
When we plan things, like holidays and other events that are fodder for longterm memories, we tend to not plan in the things that could throw a wrench or 5 into our plans. The result is the actual event does not match the build up in out minds and we are disappointed. You know what I mean?
When we plan weddings we don’t plan for rain.
We forget about little quirks that drive us batty about family members when planning a holiday dinner.
When we picture ourselves opening up the perfect gift we have waited all year for and dropped a million hints so of course we will get it, we don’t plan on Santa getting wires crossed and getting a copy of The Missing Link, instead of a new kitchen sink.
In our plans and dreams and ideals, we don’t add broken bones or trips to the hospital, sick pets or kids, deaths or births even, no matter how imminent we know either is. We don’t often think through the not so great things that could dampen the glow and warmth and stuff. Tell me I am wrong.
Then we are hurt, defeated, sad, depressed. critical, ungrateful…. etc.
Much of time when we feel hurt, and defeated, it is something called disappointment and many times, we have done it to ourselves more than anyone can do it to us.
Holidays are prime time for hurt, sadness, defeat and disappointment on many different fronts, but the worst is the home front, as in your own mind. Once we figure this out, and think a little differently, we might find that we sail through the holidays unfazed. Mostly.
I am not totally sure on that, but I can say to a certain degree that you don;t get as bummed and blue if you are aware of the contingencies, or adopt a nothing surprises your anymore attitude.
It may come naturally with age, I don’t know.
Not saying at all I am perfect or that I am not ever disappointed or surprised or taken aback by the way things end up turning out. Oh no, my mind sometimes works secretly, not divulging the idealistic version of my life, and I may not realize I am disappointed until I feel like crying, or throwing up, or throwing something. Then I usually have to retreat to the Lizzie Cave. (what? I have one in my head) think about what it is and whether I am really truly completely hit between the eyes with a brick I didn;t see coming, or if I just failed to acknowledge the other possibilities and was, without realizing it, planning on sunshine and perfect manners. It is not too often that it turns out being a brick. Hindsight is great for that kind of stuff.
There is a time or two where no matter how much you planned and thought through all the possibilities good or bad, you are caught like a deer in the headlights with no other recourse, but to wallow in bitter despair. We often wallow too much from things we could foretell, or at least consider the possibility of when dreaming the event or whatever it is in our mind. Like planning for rain when you plan your wedding, it could happen, happens a lot actually, so why does it have to be a my day was ruined kind of thing.
All those things that we don’t plan on? That’s life. Real life.
Sometimes I think that we deny we are really alive. I don’t know.
A good example, I had a goal for 12 Holiday Mental Moments by the 24th of Dec. I gave myself a lot of wiggle room. I know myself somewhat, and really, my true goal, the one I would have still considered myself a success at that particular thing, was the last on the 25th.
All of a sudden I decided I would give you 12 profound holiday Mental Moments, and I let my brain get carried away with how …oh never mind, the point is I got carried away and didn;t think of the things that could go wrong or make it different from how I saw it in my head.
Instead of getting too upset and defeated, I am glad that it happened this way. Why? Because as much as nobody wants to talk about the other side or think about the other side, there are a lot of people really affected by the other side, by the letdown and the disappointment. It is a sort of profound moment.
Whether it is in the gift that they got, or the family acting its normal dysfunctional self instead of suddenly being “normal”, or no snow, or whatever happened, it is kind of common and its worse because nobody talks about it. They pretend like everything was perfect.
And it probably was as perfect as it could be, just with life included, but they don’t believe it and just don’t want to let on they are unhappy because they don’t want to appear ungrateful, petty, or whatever else that is not on the shiny people list of traits to have.
It;s ok to be disappointed, and let down and hurt. We don’t have to be shiny all the time. If there is perfection in this world. it is not human beings. Except the ones that can admit that we are never perfect, and not beat themselves up ever when they don’t meet their own expectations. Hmmmmm, ok don’t get hung up on that too long. Nobody is perfect ok?
If you realize that a lot of it is just because it’s life and we don’t usually plan on life, it’s easier to get over.
Easier to turn it around and be glad for what we did get or the time we did spend or whatever happened.
I am living proof. Just be glad.
It really works sometimes. Whether you are disappointed, or hurt, or hit with a brick that you didn’t see coming.
Just be glad that you are alive.
For the last time this holiday season, at least from me, here is Clark Griswold and disappointment. Extreme. And some was indeed the brick. but some his own vision that did not plan for life getting in the way.
May we be blessed with plenty of love, however life sees fit to throw it at us.
To your Mental State, whatever it may be
- When Christmas Bites, Bite Back (edbatista.com)
- Because it’s Christmas – The Tenth Holiday Mental Moment (runningnakedwithscissors.com)
- I Believe in Santa The Ninth Holiday Mental Moment (runningnakedwithscissors.com)
- 12 (Blog) Days of Christmas . . . On the Eleventh Day (steppingawayfromtheedge.typepad.com)
- Home for the Holidays – The Seventh Holiday Mental Moment (runningnakedwithscissors.com)
- A Hallmark of the Season The Sixth Holiday Mental Moment (runningnakedwithscissors.com)