Upheaval; n. the state of being heaved in the up

I am behind. Again.

It;s something that I can’t hide or even continue to deny.  If I didn’t post a daily Mental Moment I might be able to get away with not admitting it but um, yea when you come for the Mentalness of a moment and see nothing there, it is apparent I am not on point.  Caught up.  With the program.  Etc. Et al.  Ad nauseam

Saying that in itself is the Mental Moment, that you wonder where the moment went, is old.  I suppose I could say that I was letting everyone catch up?  No, I am behind.  True story.  

Upheaval;  A violent or sudden change or disruption to something  (that is the real definition, the title for those of you that don’t know upheaval, is one I just made up.  I do that from time to time and  I would be remiss to not point that out.  What if you had a test on it and you used my definition?  Well, you would get it wrong and if I didn’t include this CYA statement, which is actually a CMA statement, you might blame me.  I get blamed for enough crap so I don’t want that hanging on my head as well.

Now that we got that cleared up, upheaval is the only word I can think of that accurately describes my life for the past few days.  Since last Mon…oh!  Day That Shall Not Named.

No not the most recent past one the one last week,

So I am behind and in a state of upheaval.  Last week I had a bit of an issue after my birthday.  It was a wonderfully amazing birthday.  I laughed, I cried, it moved me.  I mean seriously moved me.  You probably should have tapped my brain for that chemical that makes you feel good put it in a bottle and sold it.  I had oodles.

So much in fact that I found myself,well I actually lost myself for a bit and boy did I write like a ,mad woman,.  All my experiences and the *ahem** divine knowledge I was given all of a sudden as the light bringer and bearer of truth.  If you don’t recognize that for what it is, we will be discussing it very soon.  Not soon now, soon later.

Only problem is, all these thousands upon thousands of words I wrote. well …

I can’t find them.  pieces here and there, but not what I thought I did.  I guess much of it was still in my head and it took a while to realize that there was nothing new on my blog.  Listen. sometimes you think you did something and you just take it for granted you did.

So the conundrum after the upheaval is that I have lots of half-finished thoughts that are sitting in my draft box, and I am overwhelmed by the fact I am already behind so here is the plan.

A summary.  A summary of the posts I have in the works and then I will sorta be caught up and you will sorta be up to speed and from there the really worthy ones will appear in your reader dear readers, and the weird and not worth expanding will go to the trash.  Or just sit in the draft box.  I have drafts from before Christmas.  just one actually but until recently my draft box had only one or two things in it.

SO in no particular order, let me give you an overview of what may, or may not be coming here at Running Naked With Scissors.  It’s a crap shoot.

 

Bipolar Bytes: What goes up comes down eventually …

The second installment of the Bipolar Bytes Series.  Skipping  lot of info to discuss Mania and how it affects the bipolar brain.  This one is for sure, I just need to polish up a little research (no that doesn’t mean you won;t see it just because I don’t like to do research geez. )

Gracie and Bubbsy

Well this comes from a game we played the other day where we switched our names for the day.  8 yo aka Magpie is Gracie, which was actually going to be her given name if I had my way, and 5 yo wanting to join the fun chose Bubbsy.  I just chuckle every time.  It’s about perfect.  They are great kids and I am pretty proud, especially after parent teacher conferences yesterday.  Bubbsy’s only mark against him so far in Kindergarten is for licking windows one day last week.  I know you can;t wait ti hear about that one and a picture of Gracie aka Magpie’s shiner.  Its pretty.

Yes Maam, we will gladly accept your Payment, If it’s a Money Order. 

From what I can surmise with the brief opening sentence, this one is a rant centering around trying to pay someone money and they won;t take it in any form that you have ,thereby requiring you to not only give them every penny but to work for it.  Nevermind I think that is about all that I need to say on that.

It’s the moving-a tale of Reprieve

I am moving again.  Not by choice and I was going to have to be out by Friday.  How that came to be and I now have a little breathing room so maybe it can work out better.

And the Hits just Keep on Coming and Coming

Pretty miserable it just seemed like one thing after another was going  wrong and I had a bat, and the air conditioner was in my sites.  Probably not going to this one in the fall lineup. Suffice it to say that things are getting better, I reached deep and found my will to say to hell with it, this is life.  Life sucks sometimes.  Bring it!

I hate Peas – So what?

Yea, so what?

Single Mom’s Summer Survival Guide Part 2 (ok Dad’s too) 

Part 2 was supposed to cover all the fun things you can do without the kids during the summer and share the exciting adventures I had sans offspring.  In theory it is a really informative piece but I’m not sure I want to tell you how I didn’t do much of anything without the kids.  Oh.  oops.

Midgets are people too, unless they are figments of your imagination

The pretty much sums it up.  Except that squeezy cheese is always good to have on hand.

Psychosis Isn’t for Sissies; It;s just a Mental Break

My theories on why psychosis occurs based on how it feels to me. I think it’s the brains way of saying get me outta here I can;t take any more, whether its good or bad or both overload, psychosis is a coping mechanism and while scary if you can keep your wits about you, it can be fun.  That of course is no way any kind of professional advice but I just thought of it as a mental break eventually and went with it.

How can you help but Bask in my Glow

Um…ug.. Never. Mind. Ever.

On Second thought, I;d like the lobotomy please..with dressing on the side. 

I have always thanked the powers that be that I wasn;t a 1950’s or so house wife for there is no doubt that i would have been committed to a Mental Institution and for lots of reasons I am terrified at the thought of what one of the treatments was for bipolar disorder and other anxiety disorders at that time.  Lately, after accepting that I am not the captain of Team Lizzie so much s the objective, and with events of the past weeks, I have decided that taking up residence in a Mental Institute might not be so bad.  Let them worry bout all this crap – I will just do what I do.  And I wont have to get dressed and can run as far and fast as I want – within hospital grounds of course, without being called crazy..crazier.  I’d like to hold off on the lobotomy though, I am quite fond of my frontal lobe.  Just saying.

So You think You Are a BadAss?  Me too Here’s Your Award

A couple of awards I have received recently that I am passing on to you.

 

And that about does it for the fall line up.  Mental Moments of course will be part of the regularly scheduled programming and there are lots of neat artsy fartsy things on the Artsy Brain Fartsies Blog – the link to which is in the top menu.   I have something really excited planned but I don;t want to spoil it.  :-)

On with the state of being upheaved…

I guess it’s better than being heaved down.

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22 responses to “Upheaval; n. the state of being heaved in the up

  1. I spent four months in a mental institution, and feel like it’s the only place I ever felt at home. I was voted the most popular patient by others and bought an autograph book in the gift shop when I was leaving, still have it. Of course, asking the staff out on dates brought a lot of laughs, didn’t know I was manic until years later. Sometimes a dx just gets in the way of real fun. Loved your post thoughts on the lobotomy, Lizzie!

    • thanks Gail :-) ya know when I was writing that part I knew there was someone I recently had here that had been in an Institution,,…I think the thought bothered me because I looked it as having to say I can’t… now I think I wish I could say I don;t want to anymore..maybe just go for a rest. Ha! asking the staff out on dates.. ya know what would be really fun? Let;s go together… ;-) But did you ever get that restless feeling like you wanted to leave and be on your own?

      • Ha, that’s so great, we’d go together! The year was 1986, and my mind was so torqued from an abusive husband. I needed the rest and the strength to leave him when I got out and I did! So, never been back. These days, it isn’t like you can get a rest there anymore. That’s what it used to be for. Now it’s all about meds, they chemical you up and spit you out after a week or two!
        Let’s to Hawaii instead!

    • How wonderful what you write, Gail – that you felt at home. Strange, but true…

      I hope it did you good. Fancy being the most popular patient. Surely there’s a book in that? :)

      • Hi! Great you should say that! I’m in on chapter six of my second memoir, Cedar Hill…….about that four month experience. It will probably take me five years to write…..my process is slow as I have to return to my extremely disturbed state of mind, and the detail of the people and environment surrounding me. I can only expend the emotional energy every three weeks or so for a chapter. Like Hemingway said, “If you want to write, just open a vein.”

      • Oh, AWESOME words of Hemingway. Excellent words.

        Wow, kudos to you Gail – your SECOND memoir. You know, I relate very much to only being able to expend that emotional energy randomly. I understand fully what you say there.

        But that is wonderful, wonderful you are writing of that experience: good luck. It would be VERY interesting.

    • I think it is just the nature of the beast – ups and downs and changes and .. stuff. I am learning the pattern of it though because for the most part there is one and also the way seasons affect me.. so next time it won;t be such an uheaval.. (see that how I said next time and not IF IT happens again? I’m learning)

    • well – there aren;t any. I promise. There was this one time my mom took us to my great great aunts house and she made them picked straight out of the garen – I mean vine to pot.. both my brother and I ate 2 helpings.. because of that I have really tried to give them a chance… I have ..really.. :-)

      • exactly – in fact, I gave peas a better shot then lots of things – cow tongue, goat , fish heads…. I ate the peas.. :-)
        You were in my spam box..sorry.. so weird cause, oh I can;t talk about it too much I will jinx myself – once spent 2 weeks going to spam every single comment.. ug..

  2. I’m glad you weren’t a housewife in the 50’s or 60’s too. My grandmother was locked up in an institution for nerves & other stuff & she had ECT treatments & was never the same. Their methods were barbaric. I guess this stuff runs through my family (female side anyway). My grandmother, my mother (even though she won’t admit it),my sister & myself.

    • My grandmother too -it runs on that side of the family and I dont know if you saw that picture of my great- grandmother – its on ..the Pieces of Puzzles… Mental Moment, her daughter s I wonder about her but my grandmother had her stays in the institute and also ECT. As a child when I would listen to the stories I got the impression that she was put therefrom time to time because sh didn’t act as was expected.. now that I am older and can understand it a little better – she was always nervous and wouldn’t make eye contact and she always aid the wrong thing.. (sh is the reason Oreso cookies come with a huge guilt tag attached..) but the lobotomy thing I dont know if I was reading or saw on tv.. a woman who was artistic and creative and emotional..and then she wasn;t ahd its beyond me how anyone would consider that a cure..

      Great to see you! I was wondering where you were …

    • My mother & father both had electric shock therapy. I find even the thought of being strapped down, terrifying. Bless them, they that went before us…

  3. Oh Lizzie, your insights – they’re great. It’s so so good to be able to be so open these days, out there with the difficulty of mental illness. Good on you good on you good on you! :)

  4. Pingback: Musical Foolishness & Follies | The M3 Blog·

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