LOOK! We made it to another Friday. Oh I should do a new Friday sign. Well not should but I want to. Yo know what they say though.
Can;t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
That was a tangent for sure. I don;t even remember what I was talking about. Probably because I wasn’t talking about anything much yet ya think?
Ok well let us remedy that because isn’t that what you are here for?
Or…you saw the word intimate and thought women’s unmentionables? small cafe or….what else? Oh!
well have a seat since you are here, and let’s get on to
Today’s Mental Moment…
about intimacy and being intimate.
What do I know, I’m not in one. Well see I don;t just mean a significant other although that is typically where it is usually felt to be a lacking there of in and so forth and…stuff.
First I want you to wipe your mind of what you think intimacy is. I bet most of you think it has to do with s…e…x…
Right, but more like wrong. there are several definitions of intimate and intimacy that get overlooked in favor of the popular one of …the privacy of a couple’s relationships. We all understand when someone says that a couple is intimate, or what intimate apparel is and we seem to have equated getting naked and rolling in the hay as intimacy and not really taken a look any farther than that.
I am of the mind that you can get naked with someone and roll in the hay and not be overly intimate. Not in the sense I am trying to impart to you today. Aren’t you glad you have me to muck things up a bit here and there?
I know. You are welcome.
Did you know intimate is also a verb? Well I didn;t until I looked it up so even if 98% of you knew that, someone else didn’t either.
Being naked in front of someone is intimate because you don’t stand naked in front of too many people. I mean hopefully. Wouldn;t bother me a bit but there are standards and stuff. but you can be intimate with someone and not have intimacy.
intimate; n. (Intimacy) An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It can be defined by these characteristics: enduring behavioral interdependence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment, and need fulfillment.
Working with that definition, which is one of I think 6, what I get out of that is you can have an intimate relationship with anybody. Considering the requisite characteristics I would have to say that one of the easiest way to destroy an intimate relationship is by betrayal or breaking your intimate other’s trust. You cant continue to be intimate, not the same as it was if you suddenly find out you are betrayed.
It would seem that true intimacy and Integrity might be personally related. I mean do you think you can have a truly intimate relationship if you are not integrious? I am thinking they are at least first cousins.
For example, two lovers and they are intimate in every sense of the word. I mean I did state lovers but they are also say best friends. Soul mates, they can be married if you want. But the idea I want to get across is that these two people are as close as possibly can be and as intimate as it gets.
Let’s say one of them strays for whatever ridiculous reason – I am going extreme here to make it clearer. For me too. I am working this out on the fly.
They realize they made a mistake and thank goodness their spouse doesn;t ever find out but after that both parties feel like something has changed, something is missing, there is a wall, a distance that wasn;t there before.
You think well why? The cheater didn;t get caught so there is no betrayal. But here is the problem. This partner that was formerly open and honest and completely intimate with their spouse now has a pretty big secret, one that if found out will for sure change their relationship even more. Probably destroy it, or it as they knew it to be.
So why aren;t things just the same? Because when you have a secret, or you hide part of yourself or tell a lie, especially to someone who you have an intimate relationship to, you do in effect put up a sort of wall. Because the cheater knows and has to kind of be on guard, therefore not as open and ….
da da da daaaaaaaa
Intimate as before.
There is no we in intimacy, there is 2 I’s and y? Because it takes only one to change the level of intimacy and the relationship.
Be it friendship, or love or any close interpersonal relationship. the minute you or the other person changes the level of sharing, the level of intimacy changes. And both parties get cheated out of a deeply fulfilling and special kind of companionship.
It’s why I carry my scissors behind my back when I am naked, but if I truly want an intimate relationship, I am all about full disclosure on that or anything else. Just saying.
And I am willing to accept that I may be way off base on this one – but it makes sense to me and for sure you all will be putting a moment or two extra thought into your intimate relationships
To Your Mental State, Whatever it May be