Heartbeat, erratic as drops of rain on the windows in the gloomy pre-dawn light, fingers tapping a beat on the blanket, she was unsure if they tried to follow the rain or tripped after her heart. There seemed a pattern, in a second it was gone. Heart made sense, then rain, as the sense melted. One became the other, she was the rain waiting to wash away disorder of mind, and fear from her heart.
Head on over to The M3 Blog and see what Flash Fiction is all about and join in if you think you can weave a tale that captivates and all the other things of fiction in a few short words.
The word is Erratic with a upper limit of 75 and mine comes in right at 75.
Submissions for the Winter 2013 volume are due in by Dec 31.
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15 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – Erratic”
Boy, oh boy. The heartbeat and raindrops can’t get in sinc. 😉
i know it the pesky rabbits. er raindrops etc I thought it was a 100 words so.. had to cut it.. makes me crazy trying to decide which version is better.. i like them to fall in place and only have to trim a word or two. hurt my brain. and since i did the hundred and have my mental image firmly set i havent a clue if i got the ..story across..at all.. these words aren’t really in my area of …expertise.. lol deranged – erratic, mental..yea a little out of my league 🙂
I liked the feeling that the heartbeat and raindrops seemed out of sinc.
I know. I have to fight with the words too and this theme is not my forte either but we’re almost at the end. I wonder what the next theme will be.
I see others shoot for the shortest distance to the end by using less than the limit. I’ve tried using the exact number and it’s h.a.r.d. but hey, what’s wrong with a challenge?
nothing at all – if we don’t challenge ourselves how do we grow – but darn when you think its 100 and you get it just right and have to cut 25 more words.. challenge ? yes I say bring it! oh it has been brought and I just started so I need to catch up .. I haven;t a clue what the next them is..huh..now I am curious 🙂
I always am too. 😀
I LOVE this flash! It pulls me into the inner drama of the speaker and reality is blurred for me as it is for her/him. Keep them coming! xxx
I tht it was a hundred word so I had to cut a.bunch..im glad you said that..I think.it didnt lose anything when it got 25 words lighter lol.. I hadnt looked at the words yet. For the quarter..til today.. What fun 🙂 lol
Love this one, tapping a beat out of sync with the world it seems.
it would seem so. Or the world is out of sync with her 😉
I love the last sentence….she was the rain waiting to wash away disorder of mind, and fear from her heart…… Diane
thanks – I like it too .. I was thinking when the the lines between reality and thought / imagination / retreat into the mind blur.. but I an;t really remember what triggered it.
I have enjoyed reading this one Lizzie 🙂
I hope that you have had a lovely Thanksgiving
my sweet friend 🙂
[…] is for Lizzie with love. One I like just as well turned the other way, specifically 90 degrees clockwise, because […]
Like!!! Is that a real road sign somewhere!?
Im not sure.. that would be too funny if it is….thanks for the like 🙂