It’s kind of a special day today here at Running Naked With Scissors HQ…
I feel like I should throw some glitter or, get a brass band …something to make it a bit festive, party like. I think anyways.
I am not really sure if this is a good thing or the beginning of really poor decision-making. Fun, but poor.
I am thinking donuts are definitely in order.
Many of you may remember My Mean Streak, the part of me with the meany mean thoughts that is in charge of nanny boo booing, has mad skills in both excellent quality retorts, and making a point to someone who can;t seem to get the point, and of course how could we ever forget the passive aggressive face mush and the art of its successful delivery?
My Mean Streak was pretty popular teaching the fine art of delivering zingers, dealing with idiots and all kinds of useful tactics to help us get over bad feelings and sometimes get a little payback without anyone getting hurt. Except maybe some of the antagonists feelings. Assuming they caught on they were getting zinged. Ever.
The point was acknowledging we all have a mean streak and its not a bad thing. Getting irked at circumstance or another persons apparent recent lobotomy is normal. Thinking not so nice things is normal. That was pretty ironic right there.
Apparently saying those nasty things out loud and getting the biggest revenge you can for whatever slight, perceived or true, is normal anymore but not in my world. The beauty and effectiveness of my mean streak is in using intelligence and a little cunning, and patience never deployed with the intent to hurt another person…My Mean Streak is a defensive tool, and a pretty hot one at that if I might say so, able to reduce a person of moderate intelligence to head scratching or taking on any further threat. The real beauty of my Mean Streak is the shit it talks and the skill at which it flings around big words to confuse the adversary to the point of wondering why they started the mess in the first place.
We had a pretty good thing going here once a week or so, teaching the art of getting satisfaction in creative unhurtful (minus the one time ..the toe..remember? no never mind then) ways. Not revenge but satisfaction. Yes there is a difference, but we can do that another day.
So if you remember My Mean Streak then you know why its a day to celebrate (I think?) The Prodigal daughter returns – maybe not that dramatic though. My Mean Streak got all butt hurt when the movie deal fell through because they wanted both of us …
Events of June, that I mentioned in Enough, had my Mean Streak hot to trot but after seeing I was raging enough without the extra encouragement and quite willing to bite some poor unsuspecting jerk’s head off without so much as consulting or even trying to be subtle, well it lay low until I could get a grip on the situation enough to let it do it’s thing. Subtly, with humor and for a great sense of satisfaction in being mischievous (and no one getting hurt, by which I refer to feelings because I am not going to get in someones face, neither is my Mean Streak. )
So, a condensed (very) version of events that brought My Mean Streak out of semi retirement to try and work it’s meany mean mean nanny nanny boo boo rubber glue magic once again for my betterment,;
I decided we didnt need to live where we were anymore. I had very good, valid reasons. This was not a spur of the moment because I was in some bipolar state of not thinking right thing.
Went to court to fight their stupid charges that they just add on for no reason at all after you are late a few days. It isn’t util they give the paper work over to the lawyers it costs a little more and then we got a judgement because, I didn’t have the back up to prove my case and I was just done with the whole thing.
We tried to be cooperative and not have the constable there, we were but I was still unable to remove all of my belongings from the property when the manager took the keys from me and locked us out, then proceeded to turn off the electric prepaid meter after I just told her there was food in the freezer..
Yea I shoulda seen what happened next coming.
Without dragging it out, when I contacted them to pay the judgement amount and for the storage for my stuff left on the property I was told.. it was disposed of.
After I made 6 inquiries repeatedly asking them to quit shit talking me because I am on to that and if they wouldn’t just say it, well they knew they were wrong and did not want to put it in writing in email, on the internet…but they did so.
It was day 16 and 17 or 18…pretty close to the 21 days they are REQUIRED BY LAW TO RETAIN A TENANT”S PROPERTY AFTER INVENTORY of SAME IS PERFORMED ON THE FIRST DAY. The have to keep it, they can charge storage by the say but they may not get rid of it and if they sell it after 21 days, if it is unclaimed, the the proceeds go towards paying off the judgement and their version of jacked up inflated bullshit charges that just …$20 for drip pans?
What was left was the stuff I keep with me, from my room. The knick knacks, pictures, I had a box from my hope chest, my desktop computer, and entire kitchen of dishes and pans, professional knives and pans. And I have thankfully blocked out a lot of it because it is a gnawing ache in my gut after losing so much the previous two years and because this time, it was personal stuff, memories, stuff that can not be replaced even if I had money.
They knew I had no help, that I was willing to pay storage, that we had to clear the judgement before my daughter could get into her new place…and any half-witted dumbass would have looked at the stuff there and known…
They had an opportunity to be fucking human beings. They blew it.
And I am really messed up about the whole thing.
So, I am trying to get a lawyer and I will and I think they probably are gonna be really sorry. I want them to be, Yea it’s got me that twisted up. Not sorry hurt, sorry just I want them to not forget me or hoe they treated me, I want them to never do it again but they lie everyday to the tenants and themselves.
I don;t want to go through all the crap and whatever will be required to have this pending for two years then get it into court so I can relive it all over after it has faded somewhat.
I am tired. I still haven; even told you about the car. Nevermind.
So My Mean Streak has been biding its time while I ignore the feelings I have about the whole mess because I am raw, angry, hurt, and have lost a little confidence I had in my ability to live in the world unprotected.
I am restless and want to do something, I just think the protocol bs will not be worth it. Money wont replace my kids artwork or baby pictures.
So sometime in the wee hours of the other morning I remembered I had a gate opener to the place and that is when My Mean Streak laid out the plan.
How about I use that opener one afternoon and go swimming at the pool behind the office? They would probably call the cops and have me removed, if they even noticed as my daughter pointed out…Nah.
A few more ideas tossed around and the brilliant deployment of Operation Babe Ruth may be right around the corner. Or maybe not. As you well know my Mean Streak is not one of action, it is effective because it knows how to talk shit …so maybe not but it’s mischievousness is near genius and I actually laughed, out loud at the thought of the fall out.
One night late,, the bag of cat poop George has so loyally been contributing to, is going in the drop box at the office that goes directly in the building.
A few nights later, the pool is the target. Motor oil? more cat poop? No this is even better. Ten to fifteen Baby Ruth Bars unwrapped and thrown in . Preferably the night before some community event.
there is no restitution of my belongings, no one will get fired, the ones responsible will not have to pay any money, but somehow the whole thing is just so ridiculously funny, I think I
would feel a lot better. Maybe a sign telling the tenants they are being bamboozled and lots of smoke blown up their collective asses and they should start an uprising.
My Mean Streak has been practicing ninja stealthiness and I am quite taken by the idea. Look for us in the news.
I will be the one laughing so hard, I may be doing the pee pee dance too.
My Mean Streak, well its in Ninja mode but it will be there too.
Another win for humor and mischievousness instead of payback in the form I got it. Such a creative Mean Streak it is.
I have a feeling you will be seeing it more often from now on.
- A Surprise Attack, With a Pleasant Twist… and a Happy Ending (modernfatheronline.com)
- Ninja Restaurant NYC (projectlighttolife.wordpress.com)
- We’re Moving! (ninjacafe.wordpress.com)