Romantic MDay – Advice from the Looney Bin


Just another Romantic Monday.

Can you hear what I am singing?  (Bangles Manic Monday.. ??)  ok well yea I also see what I did there… I said MONDAY.  Ouch .. like it stuck in my craw but I need to get over this irrational fun..or no never mind.  

That would be silly.  Anyways here we are again and as always thank you to the great  Edward Hotspur for creating and maintaining this romantic addition to the blogging realm and if you would like to get involved ( you can do this!  I did..)  click the link either right above or on the logo or perhaps interspersed randomly through the rest of my post (not too likely  – but ya never know I mean I would but that would send the same ping back like however many times?  Or would it?  should I find out?  )  and see what he put up for today as well as all the links to everyone who participates.  It’s getting pretty big, come join us.

This week I am coming at romance from a whole new perspective.  Mostly because I am feeling a little jaded on romance … another day for explanation perhaps?

My dream job has long been to be a humor columnist / advice columnist.  think Erma Bombeck with Dear Abby.  I had a hard time deciding so it really rolled into humorous advice and to cheer myself up last year I thought let’s add ..relationships.  I was also, for reasons I can;t remember looking into that other blogging platform – and wanted to see what it had to offer.  So I created Love From the Looney Bin.  I will give you a link later maybe.  I want you to stay with me here just a moment…

Lizzie Borden
Love advice from Lizzie ( Borden) ? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tongue in cheek of course.  Who am I to offer relationship advice ?  It cracked me up a lot and laughter is the best medicine.  So off I went and there are a whole whopping 5 posts but more than that in the draft box.  I used a Dear Lizzie format of someone writing in and thought my more love and romance minded posts could find a home there too (they didn’t)  – of course, that there was no one to write I figured I could wing it until there maybe was.  I did, but I have to tell you, each situation is a true life complaint or question of a friend or family member either truly asked directly or just picked up in the conversation  – I just put my little humorous spin on it for reasons that are explained in the about page but ….yea yea how did that come to be I am writing on Romantic MD…Monday…about that?

  • I don’t have a clue.  It’s romantic in a there she goes trying to make her dreams come true..kinda way?  no?
  • It’s about relationships?
  • I was over looking and deciding what to do with it and I am thinking maybe of giving it another go.  I got really busy last year and was writing for pay and that took a lot of my time and focus.  Running Naked With Scissors, is my baby and focus (awwwww that’s romantic) but this year, I have learned how to spew forth words about things on variety of subjects and different places all at once ..for the most part.  I am not a quitter ya know?
  • Well there is romance because it’s romantic that a guy would care enough about his relationship to write to an advice columnist..  there that sounds good let’s go with it.  Run..naked even  (really)

The following s based on a true story.. ( I had to say it again because might go huh?  )

Romantic things are often things where we reach for more than normal, make ourselves vulnerable to another person for the sake of love ?  Well this wasn’t easy, it never is to try something new and put it out there for others, I did it with the poetry and the subjects of, and this has been a pretty good dormant secret for almost a year, and I could have deleted it none the wiser, but I am not….

you can pick whichever reason works for you..

Love from the Looney Bin

Lizzie Style

Dear Lizzie,

I am at the end of my rope. I don’t know if men can write you to but I figured my wife is acting all crazy so you might be able to help  So what the hell.  My wife can not stop looking through my phone my emails anything that she can snoop through.  The other night it came to a head when I woke up and she was there with a flashlight with her head so far up my ass I had to get a crowbar to pry her out.  I can’t live like this anymore.  It’s a police state.   I don’t know what to do but I’m about to clock the bitch….Signed Violated

Dear Violated

The thing about snooping is that if you look you better be prepared for what you find. And while some may say well if you don’t have anything to hide her snooping wouldn’t bother you, the invasion of your privacy is still very real.

Usually for a perfectly level-headed woman to lose it to the extent you describe, something has hurt her and caused her to react from a place of fear, like her husband cheated on her. Often the snooping is a desire to feel in control and to have back that security she felt before the truth hit her in the face. You don’t mention any change in behavior or betrayal of her so I can on say if that is the case then you just need to ride it out.  Do anything you can to let her know you love her – and clocking the bitch is not a way to show it.  Just saying.

The second reason might come as a shock to you but the suspicious mind is usually guilty.  She may be the one stepping out on you and realizing she is getting away with it, it dawned on her you might be doing the same.  Yeah, that is kinda of a hard one to swallow I know but again clocking the bitch is not the answer. EVER

Barring either of these, then she is overcome with irrational jealousy. Irrational jealousy will tear a relationship apart faster than you can ask “Have you lost your mind?” It is insidious and passive aggressive and just plain aggravating.  One way to fix her is to let her get an eye full of what she thinks she is looking for.  Naked pictures of other women, or make a fake email and send yourself smutty messages with a fake woman’s name.

Or if you really want to stop this all, use a man’s name, make it naked men pictures.  She won’t know what to do BUT  I bet she won’t snoop anymore because she doesn’t really want to admit anything like that about you.  At this point you may be the one in danger of getting clocked (so NOT the answer)  but I bet your problem is solved.

Finally, since I am not aware of the whole situation, please whatever you do make sure you do it responsibly.  Perhaps some couples therapy to get to the bottom of this would be the best bet.  Sounds like she already has been to the bottom…. but yeah, it needs to be consensual.

from the looney bin,


Love From the Looney Bin – Dear Lizzie – don’t go there expecting great things but if you think I should give it another go..let me know.


13 thoughts on “Romantic MDay – Advice from the Looney Bin

    1. did say something a couple of weeks back that i was like her or .. I don;t know who that is..or do I ? Google – to the CLoud! oh wait..

      thank you – and thank you for the retweets and stuff of my art and posts. I really appreciate it and thanks doesn’t really convey that..

      ok now – to the CLOUD! yes, I am easily amused. ,but that is pretty obvious.. ok really now I am going to look..

  1. You cracked me up with this one, Lizzie, it’s fantastic. I’ll write into your relationship column with questions. I’ll check it now!

    1. ok 🙂 I haven;t done a thing on it since Feb – I thought I would go update the look and put a contact link and see whats what – make it purty.. why not? umm I can;t think of a reason ..

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