Wooooo Hooooo its Friday!
Everyday I feel like wow it was just today a few days ago .. maybe 5 or 7 ..
You wanna hear something funny?
I was done with today’s offering of Mental Momentousness (cool right? see how that worked? ) a few hours ago. True Story.
Well not this little blurb here because then I would be saying something like – how early it is and in rare fashion I am ahead of the game.
Instead ok, yea I wasn’t done, but within a few minutes, I mean …
Well the reason it wasn;t posted early is because I chose not to. I mean I could say it wasn’t my fault, or that I didn;t mean to but really I did. I wanted to add on a video so I made the choice to wait that led to yes,.. ok so a little bit off on time.. at least I am consistent, and … uh responsible.
That may be a stretch
Today’s Mental Moment
is about choices
and free will.
A hat trick. Lucky you. 🙂
Have you ever heard someone say
I had no choice
Perhaps you have said it yourself. I know I have.
But it has come to be something that is …misused and offered as a way out of accountability for the choices and decisions we make.
It really means, it is the only choice that had any value to me, the only one of which the outcome was acceptable.,
When making a decision about almost anything in life, we have choices, options.
And we have the free will to choose whichever option we want.
Sometimes we are in a position where none of the choices is optimal and any one of them will cause something that is not desirable, or possibly hurt someone, emotionally and sometimes physically. (that would be in extreme cases I think, under severe duress)
We may mull over the choices, weighing the options, looking at the consequences and pondering the right path.
Sometimes, it is a decision that must be made in a split second and is made by reflex rather than an actual consciously formed thought.
Those decisions are typically going to go along the lines of self preservation. Not always but it goes back to the flight or fight reflex and survival is the desired outcome.
Saying I had no choice is most often reserved for explaining why our action caused a less than desirable outcome for another. Maybe someone we love, or a collegue or a pet,,, or any number of possibilities.
I am sure it is used, but I very rarely hear, I had no choice at an event that is happy or a positive outcome. Do you?
Using the phrase has become a way to be absolved from the consequences of our actions,
It is denying your power as a person and that you have free will.
It is trying o say we aren’t going to be accountable for our actions.
You may feel railroaded into something, forced to go with the decidion you make, but that is only becasue whether you consciouly consider it or not, the other option was unacceptable.
I have no choice
is really saying that out of the choices available, non were outcomes you could live with, even the one you chose may not have been the best but it was the best of the options you had.
If you are faced with a difficult decision, and feel you have no choice, stop and think about that because there is a choice.
Sometimes you can choose to not choose, but there is always a choice.
Sure this makes us accountable for all our actions and decisions. Something that many people try to avoid. But it also gives us strength and brings the concept of free will to our conscious minds and not a concept that is unclear, or something we wish we had.
It does not make us to blame for misfortune that befalls us due to another’s actions. Although in theory every event can be led back to a choice we made, how could we possibly know we will be hurt or taken advantage of or abused?
What the idea of choice and free will does do, is gives us the power to not be a victim forever.
And an example I can think ofm where I can;t think of one choice I made to cause this is having bipolar disorder, maybe there is something but I think that is not by choice or free will (anything similar) But it is my choice how to live with it.
And we can learn to trust in our own judgement and when we fully understand that no matter what, we always have a choice, we do not feel powerless, helpless or weak.
Your choices, your life.
Even going back to the nature of the beast question (remember the scorpion and the frog?) somethings we may do because it is in our nature but a humans we do have the choice to change the behavior don’t we?
Our nature compels us but doe not force us, unless we are acting without the presence of mind to have presence of mind, And even there you are making a choice.
It really is up to you.
To Your Mental State, Whatever it May be,
oh – and no video today sorry … I think the perfect one will come to me tomorrow, or in and hour. Ig I chose to plan…. well ..
15 thoughts on “It’s all up to you, Mid-Afternoon Mental Moment”
Excellent post, but I have a bit of a different take. To me there are choices, decisions and sacrifices.
Choices are where there is no bad outcome. No suffering, i.e., vanilla or chocolate. Pizza or McDonalds. These are choices.
Decisions are when there is potential negative. Then you simply have a decision to make. Will I or won’t I?
Sacrifices result when there is no choice and the decision creates loss.
My $.02 anyway.
Much love, dear.
worth more than two cents for sure 🙂 that is a very excellent break down and makes perfect sense. It also helps for the inevitable argument that will come of well this happened and I didnt want it to so how is that a “choice” .. thanks for your input always happy to have it and to see you… ❤ and more love back to you 🙂
Very timely today! I often find myself with bad choices and then think, hmmmm sucks to be me. Think I will pick ….neither time to look for alternatives.
and then you have more options! Being aware of the fact there is always a choice can help us jump outside the bun..er..box to find other options instead of choosing between not so great ones..
Yep…choosing how we’ll react when negative (or positive) things happen….Diane
isn;t that kinda what CBT is about? letting us choose how to react rather than reacting from … wait.. I might be confused (it happpens)
You’re right!!! not confused…Diane
An excellent essay on a difficult topic.
I think many people go with “I had no choice” when they don;t want to admit that they did choose to do that thing.
I usually use that line to explain to my wife why I’m coming home blind drunk at 3am. Except in that case, it really isn’t my fault, and I really didn’t have a choice.
I have very forceful bartenders.
She, of course, doesn’t believe a word of it.
Welll.. I can totally the reasoning behind your choice of having no choice being drunk at 3 am.. what with forceful bartenders and irish friends.. and being drunk .. you would want to say the least amount of words possible rather than talk yourself into some kind of corner.. right? Plus the other option while a choice, is the least desirable of the two..who wants to stumble home blind sober? But also you get completely taken advantage of after the first round or two.. you donlt have much of a choice….
That being said, TMGITU has a point.. (the one where she says bullshit either out loud or by a look which perfectly conveys her meaning. does she have one of those? ) She so rocks 🙂
Oh, she’s got a whole stack of those looks!
http://breakitdownpete.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/horrific-abuse/ ***Please repost, facebook, Tweet, email, talk about it, comment, whatever! it just needs to be exposed!!!!
You and I are on the same wavelength…but I wrote mine two days ago to post today. There is no such thing as no choice. It is a cop out for either “I did what was good for me without considering how you would suffer,” or “I am too stupid to care if there was bad crap going to happen because I am too lazy to think that hard.” Either way, there is always a choice.
Great Minds 😉 I got this from a text conversation – it evolved from it more like, but came from calling bs on someone who said there was no choice and ..well among other things.. to which i replied – how FNG convenient but there is ALWAYS a choice.. I just cleaned it up a little and took out some blasphemy.. voila!
I am so glad! You did a great job of never using my name. I would hate for EVERYONE to know 😛
*giggles. hahahahahahahaa (that was a full on laugh. Out loud even.. ) 😛