Its Wednesday, sorry for the mess yesterday.
Those darned Monkeys and their curiousness. I ant to get right to it today as I kind of have a lot to say.
No. Not me right? Yea
Well I try to keep them shortish but some things need a few more word than others ya know? Sometimes.
Today;s Mental Moment
is an observation
and a question I suppose. That’s kind of how these things get to be Mental Moments in the first place.
Observing whatever it is then questioning if it could be different. If putting thought into it, will improve the quality and thus our lives.
Not all Mental Moments of course, some are just silly.
Earlier today I ended up at a news story that was about the victims of the Aurora Shooting. More specifically about the ones who died.
Their names were listed in alphabetical order, with a picture and a small blurb about who they were, who they were with, some with a quote form a family member and a recount of their night and how they ended up a victim to such senseless tragedy.
They were all very young, with the exception of a 61-year-old gentleman, whom I don;t consider old. There was also a 6-year-old girl, the youngest.
Some had already, by the life they lived, distinguished themselves and found their place in the world, although non could have possibly reached their full potential, having only just started out on this great journey. Some were poised ready to start to be the person they would have become later, as they grew older. Some of their lives were distinguishable merely in the way that they died.
I mean by that to say, they were just like you and I, living each day, doing their thing. Not changing the world or doing anything too special except that everyone is special to someone.
What was remarkable about each story written for each victim, and something that I have noticed too in past remembrances of victims of tragedy, was that no matter how they lived their life or what their circumstances were, each and every victim was treated just as importantly as the next.
Which is as it should be. It should be like that in life too don;t you think?
That each of us in life is just as important as the next, no matter what our life circumstance is?
In life if you have a group of people who are from different backgrounds, different ages and cultures even, what is the likelihood that in that group of people there would not be, an addict, a liar, someone who is self centered and rude, or maybe a thief? The larger the group gets the more likely it is that there would be a number of people in that group who were not doing very good things with their lives, were not desirable as friends or companions, and even dare I say, first-rate type A**holes.
So let’s say that you met each one and learned about them and what they stood for and what is important to them and what kind of person they are.
Then you were asked to tell an unbiased ..researcher about the group and were asked to be candid and truthful even if it wasn;t the most positive report about any one given person.
SO you list the people in the group and you point out so and so’s glaring flaws of personality and you talk about how AHole was selfish and lament about the addict is wasting their life and outta be smacked upside the head to try to get them to stop. This as well as saying another is smart or funny or pretty or the coolest person you ever met. A well-rounded representation of all the different things that make up the human race and human flaws.
Of course ecvh person who completes this exercise may have a different list or different idea all together about who is cool or pretty or an AHole or what the addict needs, which is just something to keep in mind but generally it is safe to say that the ones who are considered “flawed” will be present in each list.
The differences between individual tolerance and societal tolerance would meld as the averages were taken and … there you now have a group of people with the ones that ..rub the wrong way on society clearly defined.
Next lets say you were told that each of those people had died, been killed tragically and you were given the job of writing a two paragraph memorial to them to let people who did not participate in this exercise know who they were.
What would you write about the addict? Or the AHole or the selfish self-centered thinks she is all that ….. if that is what you had written on your previous study when they were alive and not only you. it was most of the people who participated.?
What would you do? Most of us would not write those things, not about the dead. Some would find clever ways to write around it, to say it but not say it and still show the person as a bright light in life that had been tragically taken from us. Most of us would find the positive and highlight that.
And that is what I am getting at. Of course we should do it for those that have passed, it is respectful. Why not do it for the ones that are living?
It couldn’t be lying to do that because that person you think is a jackass, that most people think is a jackass, is the light of someone’s life, they are that special to someone,
It is finding another angle to look at the person from, to look past their faults and see the extraordinary person they are. We all are extraordinary even in our ordinary ways.
Can you imagine what it would be like if we treated each other with as much respect while we are alive as we treat our dead?
To your Mental State, Whatever it may be,
* If something happened to me, you don;t have to make anything good up.. really, I would rather be remembered just how I am. Just tell them I was smart enough, pretty enough and gosh darn it people liked me, that I wanted to change the world but didn;t know how , that I was a terrible housekeeper, never on time, flighty at best, not nice to air conditioners, hurt by the world and sad but that I had a huge heart in the right place… that I was afraid of the dark.. unless you think I was a big AHole. then you could just say I was difficult. That’s cool,
13 thoughts on “Finding Another Angle, Mid-Afternoon Mental Moment”
Great post…everyone has some good in them….they are all important to someone…they were once little children and raised to who they are today…Some not given the love and respect they deserved as they grew….Diane
that is true.. I was reading one young mans paragraph and it seemed as if he did not have good communication with hos family.. someting the father said.. and I started to wonder..I have always wondered..but when I was young I always thought what are the odds that every person had an exemplerary in terms of society ..life..
I am the self-centered one who wrote her own eulogy so no one would have to figure out what there is to be said which could possibly be considered nice.
And Lizzie, you change the world one moment at a time. Promise ❤
I do not think that is self centered… it is self sufficient and smart – and also you can thumb your noe at irony that often accompanies those things.. I knew both my great grandmothers one – MA was a earthy, hands on …nothing bothered her lasy and the other NANA was a pious prim and proper lady to the t… always had her hair done never an undignified moment that I saw… guess which one died on the toilet? I mean she was 98 but.. SO by you doing your own -well it would be fraught with grammar issues… that would be the iriony… so heck yea… you win 🙂 sounds good thought right?
How many do you think it will take to change the world?? Like how many licks to the tootsie roll… I should have started yeears ago… but thanks… that gave me a warm fuzzie.. 🙂
I have been to so many funerals where the decedent was party to the eulogy. We have had some fun funerals. Mine will be the social event of the season. And not just for the blue hairs 😉
Lizzie, I would have to make up a thing….you are a bright light! This was wonderfully done, thoughtful and evocative. You are absolutely right, each person no matter how rotten we might perceive them is someone’s son, daughter, brother, sister, or great love. We are all connected in some way.
thank you Val 🙂 ya know I wondered.. .it is so hard to speak of the dead and things like their obituaries and I wasn;t sure it would come across how I wanted it too… I mean basically I was saying not all these people had all the desirable traits … what are the chances this guy got the 12 ,,I have learned that if I think it soneone somewhere else doe too.. and since I wasm;t trying to make light of the respect we give to thosw that dies but ask why we can not do the same while we stil are here… Next ttime someone pisses me off.. i am going to try and look at them and think what would write
I staunchly believe in seeing the good in people; it takes quite a bit for me to give up on someone. Unless they insist on being false… that tends to put my alarm up so high that I can’t even go near. :s
I am with you on that I will give soneone more chances then they vould dream of and find the good in a big mush of ill repute.. it is how I want to be treated..
This is a wonderful post Lizzie. So thought-full! I probably don’t try as hard as I should to see the good in people once they make me mad. Ha! But taking the time to pay attention and listen to people and to really put our focus on them in our everyday interactions is so needed in the world. And we shouldn’t wait until somebody dies to do that at their funeral.
I don;t try hard enough either.. I do try to give people a lot of chances and for the most part I stay away fron labeling and refrain from applying names and such unlesss they have hurt me. irritated me. acted ignorant, hurt my family or friends or its someone I can;t stand to be around 🙄 I think I need to work on it too…
I just left a you a comment and it disappeared when I scrolled down to hit reply. WP is acting really sassy lately, don’t you think? And I totally agree with what you said. I’m always trying to find that fine line between being protective of myself and my family and being just a flat out bitch! LOL! 😀
that happens to me all the time! I get it done and it is always a long one too.. 😕 and I forget that its a pop up in that little orange button thingy and I scroll so I can hit the button and poof! sometimes if you go right back into it – open up reply it is still there… sometimes..usually when you have spent much time on it it’s gone.. drives me nuts …although I already am so not really sure how that works. I know what you men about the fine line but I finally said if I feel the need to be protective – as in I am already offended flatout bitch works better than trying to find the balance.. my mean streak is pretty food about getting creative 🙂