Here we are folks, right on the humpity dumpity Hump Day
Today’s Mental Moment
(I like those big headline letters don;t you? You should put some on your blog…. )
is a little ponderable about people who should you all the time, or even just some of the time. Not the ones who do it every once in a while, unless you want to include them too. It’s your Mental Moment …
Technically it is my Mental Moment but even more so technically it is yours. You should think of it such . (see what I just did there?)
Anyways, I am sure that we all have someone in our lives that like to tell us what we should do. How we should do it and even how we should feel about it.\
Someone, or maybe more than one someone… Pushy people, the kind that are a little bossy and controlling and nosy. Your mothers don’t count for this one, they are programmed to be that way and their motivation is obvious. Unless they are a mother but not your mother and they should you, then you can count them…no you really should count them..
The reason we are not really so much discussing the ones who just say it every so often, as in Oh! This is the best donut I have ever had, you really should try it you should!… mostly the ones who don;t use you should on a regular basis are just wanting to share something that they are excited about or something that they found or thought of that they think would be perfect for you… for the most part that has been my experience anyways.. and I am not bothered a bit or even notice the language of something like that…and I do it too I am sure…if I do, you should tell me. If I get annoying I mean.
Ok let’s move on … bad enough it already is beyond mid-afternoon …
The next time you are around someone who wants to tell you ..you should…all the time… to the point of not really hearing what you want.. just saying you should….
like they say…you should eat when you just said you weren’t hungry
or they say you should buy the blue when they know red is your favorite color
or they say you should have ordered the salad when they see the burger and fries..
that you should have bought the one piece suit when you show them your new two piece that looks awesome cause you lost 15 lbs and hae been working out.
Consider this: (you should )
There are pretty much 2 reasons that someone would constantly be telling you what to do, no matter really how it feels to you. The thing is it does feel kinda poopy to do something and then be told you should have done it different.
They are concerned about you and love and care about what happens to you. This one is hard to see sometimes because as I said, sometimes it is as if they aren’t hearing what you want or like….
They are jealous and want you to make the choice they did, or are passively aggressively setting you up for failure.
So how is that good? Welll….
Having someone tell you… you should all the time, or being pushy and insistent that you do what they think you should can leave you feeling .. a lot of things that aren’t necessarily good. That you have failed or that you aren’t good enough, sometimes even stupid, or deflated. We feel that way because even if it the you should comes from a place of love and concern, it does not provide the validation for our choices that even though we say we don’t care of we get it or need it, deep down we all need validation. Especially from the ones that are close to us. If we are constantly being told you should….do it…choose it… feel ..some other way than your preference, it doesn’t feel good.
Both of these two reasons are not at all about you really. Not your shortcoming or lack of good sense or taste.
You should …is about control. So next time you are with that person and they are look at your latest choice of whatever and say, oh, nice but you should…. just let them talk. It’s not you.
You should give them a break and yourself one too 🙂
[ THERE SHOULD BE A VIDEO HERE>>BUT THERE IS N”T]
To you Mental State, Whatever it May be