Have you ever been in a situation where you just felt completely out of your element?
Sure Lizzie…we all have at one time or another right? Oh..sorry I don’t mean to speak for you…
But IF that is what you are saying,
(and I KNOW you were…some of you anyways.. I said it and you know what that means, If I said it then someone somewhere …. you can finish it then we are even. Kind of. )
ok moving on… )
Where was I? oh yes, feeling out of our element, a tad uncomfortable, is a pretty common occurence really. Unless you stay in your house and never expose yourself to anything new, or stressful. Even then though, it happens occasionally, I can stay home for a week and still have that feeling sonetimes..but that is a different Mental Moment all together. I think.
Lets’ say, you are going to a new store and don’t know where anything is or how the check out system works. Its lame, ok? Just bear with me here for a second.
Now, the store you normally go to, you know where everything is, you know which lanes are cash only and express and you may even know some of the cashiers. Now, if you have to go to a different store for some reason, or the one you go to changed everything around like mine did, then you may feel a bit uncomfortable the first time you go into the store.
You are out of your element. But there is no pressure to fit in, unless you put it on yourself, If you are one of those people who can’t trip and fall in public without being embarrassed for at least 5 years after, then there is pressure, but it’s internal.
Nobody is chastising us because we can;t find the pickles, or yelling that we are too slow or are not right in the head.
If they are then I would be writing a letter to Corporate Headquarters and complaining. Just saying. Nah, most likely I would just leave and never go back. Not worth wasting a minute of my time on ..what? An apology? To humiliate the one that humiliated you? Nope, I don’t have much time or patience for anywhere ..or with anyone for that matter that I don’t feel in my element with very soon.
Are you all with me here? I hope so because I am really making this a mental ..more than a moment to make a point. Ok then…
Let;s bump it up a notch to being out of our element at something important where the pressure is their from a variety of others to fit in. Where maybe you being a good fit for the situation and the people involved is not necessarily only (or not) important to you. In other words someone else is very much needing, hoping, wanting you to fit in a particular situation for their benefit, and yours. Let;s go over some examples.
- new job
- meeting your significant others family
- going to a friend’s party where other friends of theirs will be
- Family Functions where they are very uptight and you aren’t
- You are uptight and they are slackers
- going somewhere your bf / gf/ wife / husband / child etc etc wants very badly for you to go to but you have no clue what you are doing, for instance, a 5 start tie only restaurant if you are a jeans and t-shirt kinda guy.
A situation where the outcome of fitting in with these people in that place may not necessarily be your top priority all by yourself, but you are feeling pressure from another source.
Sometimes you get lucky and after an first bit of discomfort you fit right in without really having to do much but be yourself. Sometimes, it doesn’t work out that way and even if all you want is to go hide in a closet until things are normal, you know it’s not just about you.
Like Mr. Focker and his fiancée Pam;s family. The perfect example of what I am talking about.
The guy just can’t do anything right no matter how hard he tries. Take the volleyball game for example, they razz him for not being as competitive as they are, for not being so good at the game and when he gives it his best effort….well you’ll see. And then look how he gets treated.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can;t win.
Has this every happened to you? Is it worth feeling uncomfortable and out of your element for another person? How far would you go and if it was only you, would you try to fit in?
Just something to think about.
To your Mental State, Whatever it May be.
Lizzie Cracked (never broken) and I just am who I am, if they don;t like it well… focker em… ok…there are some things I would try to fit in…but being out of my element …I used to live there.