The Epic Tale of Darth Hobbler, Evil Empress and ObiLizzieCrackedNobi, Cracked Porn Star

Thank You for Flying Hobbler Air

Once upon a time in a Blogoshere near here,

I, Lizzie, keeper of the light ..or shedder of the light, or


I was trolling the blogs looking for fun and adventure.

For people to hang with and good stuff to read.

It was a weekend and I happened to find an interesting little blog challenge about not being a narcissist.  I delightedly read some comments and thought

from whence did this challenge come?

(ok I am trying to do this in Epic Tale voice so just go with it k?  I really don’t have a clue how to do it so I am kind of winging it but its important for my friend.  It;s her birthday today did I tell you?  Oh wait sorry we will get to that…   thanks much for your patience.  )

So I seeked out sought forth.. I clicked on the link ..and I was taken to another planet.  A blog called Hobbling Around and the blogger (ess?)  was The Hobbler.   Da na na na!  <—-think dramatic intro music here please.

Anyways.. long story even longer cause that’s what an EPIC TALE (again dramatic music) is.  I mean right?

I chatted her up – I exuberated all over her blog, (not very Jedi I know but I had not yet realized the possibilities here)  and lo and who da thunk..she liked me!  And I liked her. (I already knew I liked her, I wanted her to like me back.)

How could you not?  This amazing woman is a cripple in a wheelchair (don’t get all huffy about not being PC – she likes it that way trust me!)  but I am here to tell you this woman, this wonderful amazing woman..  are you ready for this?

She can FLY!  she can go anywhere she wants and says what she feels.. and she pretty much says it like it is.

We both have insomnia and more nights than I can count..or remember actually I could probably count them if I remembered how many but the point is..when I couldn’t sleep and wanted to talk..she was there.  Here.  Whatever she is everywhere anyways.

There is something about the person you talk to in the wee hours of the morning..  you tell them things and they tell you things and before you know it..  you are friends and I feel like I have known her forever..since the galaxy began..  (sorry gotta keep with the theme of the EPIC TALE)

Ok here’s where it gets even better.  So one day I go on Twitter and there she is declaring to all that she has gone to the dark side.  (DA A NA NA!  <—-you know what to do right? 

The force is strong in this one folks and to have her not in the light is a loss for the good…

I immediately rallied to try to win her back..but alas she became Darth Hobbler.. and I ObiLizzieCrackedNobi. could not bring her back.  It was a valiant effort but she was determined and strong and stubborn as all get out too….But I still liked her.  I mean cause really I love her.

She is an over analyizer, which I oh so get.  She even holds OAA meetings once a week on her blog and they are ridiculously funny.  

She loves kittens and hates June Bugs.  

She was persuasive trying to win me over to the Dark Side.  She even, get this, promised me a   Donut Hole Franchise.  

She took over blogs, and created Flash mobs.  And I began to think there isn’t anything so bad about being evil with Darth Hobbler.  Yes, she is that persuasive.  And through it all, the back and forth about the light side and the dark side, she still was always my friend.  Always wiling to lend an ear, always supportive of everyone, of me.  

She has this new thing about word porn and is choosing bloggers to be her word porn stars.  She even created a new big girl blog (thats what she called it 🙂  )  just to highlight her favorite word porn. 

Yesterday, she made me, ObiLizzieCrackedNobi,  her latest porn star.  

How cool is that?  

One night late into the night I asked her

Hobbsy real deal right now if you choose being a villainess or a heroine, which would it be?”  

She chose villianess.  I asked her what her powers would be and who would be the heroine  she would be pitted against.  

She said she would be able to steal all the emotions so nobody had to care anymore and it would have to be somebody that could get them all back.  Somebody who was good.  

See the thing about Hobbler, she cares a whole heck of a lot.  Sometimes to the point of being painful for her.   She loves her friends, she cares about what happens to each and every one of us.  But its easier to be evil,  (more fun too) and for the amount of love and care and friendship this amazing woman gives, if she wants to be on the Dark Side, I have finally decided, she can do what ever she wants.  

She  may be my archnemisis.  Pitting light against dark but…

at the end of the day when we have put our toys away and brushed out teeth and gotten tucked into bed…

Dark Side, Light Side when it comes to The Hobbler..

I’m on her side!

Star Wars - The Exhibition

Happy Birthday To My Dear Friend The Hobbler, I love you Hobbsy and thank you for all that you are, all that you do and for being the best Evil Villianess Ever to Roll on Wheels.  Or Walk for that matter. The Best Ever to do anything.

And so ends out EPIC TALE..until tomorrow anyways when we see what Darth Hobbler will do next to convince ObiLizzieCrackedNobi to come over to the Dark Side…..

(the suspense is killing me I gotta tell you)


31 thoughts on “The Epic Tale of Darth Hobbler, Evil Empress and ObiLizzieCrackedNobi, Cracked Porn Star

  1. Wow! Just…wow!
    After that write up, makes me wonder if evil is the new good.
    I mean, does evil reaaally have access to donut hole franchises? No, I didn’t think so.

    Thanks for shining your light on the remarkable Ms. Hobs!

    1. she is remarkable and wonderful.. I hope I didn;t out her.. but I think I thought the same thing after the donut hole franchise… either that or this is just a ploy to win you over to the dark side bwa ha ha ha!

  2. I love you Lizzie, and thanks. I can’t really say more right now. You, all my friends here are amazing. Beyond amazing, and I can’t begin to thank you enough for everything today.

    1. You are welcome Hobbsy – Happy Birthday my sweet and wonderful friend.. oh evil sorry forgot that.. I wish I could bake you a cake or DO something more … Hope you have a wonderful day .. Love ya 🙂

  3. This was a perfect post. I loved it Lizzie. You made me cry too. Sorry, real life was kind of a bitch today, and I guess she thought I was one too, but I am okay now. Buzzed, but okay. Something needs to numb the pain until I can get my evil machine worked out to suck up all the feelings. Anyway, I am totally evil, but yeah, when I’m not feeling evil, I hurt, so evil is better right? I need to write, but not as bad since I was drinking.

    I’m okay, just in a fragile state I guess. Anyway, I loved this post, and I love you Lizzie. You all rescued me today. I’m easy like that. Thank you.

    1. Love you to Hobbsy.. Evil..on you.. is AOK with me.. if it helps you and makes you feel good then fine. I might have some extra parts for the machine shhhh don;t tell anyone cause you know it gets us better ratings to be pitted against one another.. or maybe its better cause they cant figure us out ..:-) see how I confused Guap just a little up there? Nothing wrong with a little numb.. and I hope I helped kick the bitch’s ass right back.. you aren’t easy..and you are worth it..

  4. I know how you feel, the first time Hobbles said she liked me it was like something wonderful happened to me. She was one of the first people in the blogosphere to come right out & say she liked me as a person, not just a writer. I am honored to have Hobbles as a friend. And you did her honor with your post today!

  5. Capital H.B.2 U… Ya’ll Rock!!! Make me SMILE 🙂 Ok want to join this club… (loud laughter and more smiles) Like having pen pals but quicker and much more life affirmimg. HEY HOBBLER: LOVE YA’ From : T-town Alabama 🙂 Wings on Wheels… Right??? Peace. Heck Wheels with Wind and Wings and What ever you as a Soul can Imagine……

    1. Ok – that is the only requirement..that you want to join and you comment 🙂 laughter and smiles gets you bonus points and …..wait..what club? I wanna join too 😉

    1. I am really starting to believe it… considering it deeply. I have thought I could pull off being both..Why not I am bipolar? but uh… evil is making a good case lately 🙂

      1. hee hee..change it to donuts and I’m going to for sure convert. The forces of evil were strong within me today oh boy… but I bit my tongue .. 🙂

      2. My T-shirts are not so PC. LOL! I have one as my cover ATM which says, “Temperamental 90% temper 10% mental” Other than my one which says, “Go Ahead…Poke Me” (with a pic of the Pillsbury Dough Boy), that is probably the most sedate ones I own!

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