He Said / She said – Shoes

OMG – What did he say?

ROFL – What did she mean?

Gender is important.It’s hard to know what the other sex really thinks.

So the bent (or cracked) folk at Guapola and Running Naked With Scissors are gonna lay it out for you.

One speaks. The other responds.

You decide.

He Said/She Said

And make sure you see the other side of the conversation at Guapola. It will make your life better.

(Ok, probably not, but you’ll probably get a good laugh out of it, so maybe it will be a little better after all…)

 HE SAID  –  (He is The One The Only The Dude – El Guapo )  Take it away Guapman! 

Work shoes, sneakers, boat shoes, wedding/funeral/interview shoes.
That’s it. I own 4 pairs of shoes. And even that’s too many.

Boat Shoes... Do you really wear these on a boat?

So can someone please explain to me the general obsession women have with shoes?
Flats, pumps, heels, stilettos, boots, straps, open toe, mary janes, kitten heels, slingbacks,
mules…
I could go on.
Too many kinds, and it seems like women want to own (at least) one of each. Are you out
of your minds?
“But Guapo!”, I hear from all corners of the girl-verse, “We need them! These green
flats are exactly the wrong shade of green to match my nail polish/eye shadow/dress/
skirt/poodle/handbag!”, they say. “I need to make sure I am ready for any possible
fashion emergency that could possibly come up at any time in the entire realm of
possibility!”

Have you tried black? Black goes with everything (say the magazines my girl flips
through). Oh, and comfortable. Go with comfortable too.

“But Guap!” comes the inevitable reply, “How can I be comfortable when I know I
don’t look the absolute best that I possibly can?!?”
Wincing in pain with every step is rarely a good look. Just sayin…
And why do women need 30+ shoes to make them uncomfortable“They have to match
the dress, Guap!”
The shoes are green. The dress is green.”No Guap. The dress is mint green. The shoes
are sea green. Are you blind?!?”
No. In this case, I’m sane.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t get all the sh desires. I’m not saying you
shouldn’t have stacks of shoe boxes all over the house (because you’ve run out of places
to store them). I not saying you shouldn’t leave the mall/shoe store/website without
having bought your body weight in shoes.

I’m just saying that later, when you lament that you have no room/nothing to wear/the
wrong tint/heel/strap, you shouldn’t expect any sympathy from us.

Right guys?

then there are these...ok 5

She Said –   My Turn!  

Hang on – I gotta catch my breath  …

It’s a lot farther than I thought running all the way back from your place to get here in time.

And of course in these ridiculous shoes, ouch!  I gotta blister.  Ok Where we at here…  da da daaa, blah blah blahhhhh …..  uh.huh..ok..I see .

Dude…   first of all I gotta say that bragging about only 4, no 5 sorry, nice slippers by the way,  isn’t gonna give you a head start over here.  I have less pairs than you do.  Really.  Boots, Sandals, FLip Flops.

Oh and these hella sexy pair of heels I got just for the occasion.  I think they liked them over there at your place, just a hunch.  I could be wrong (but most likely, I’m not 🙂  )

So I got 4.  alright we will call it a draw on who has more shoes, besides it is pretty safe to say that if I hadn’t had a pit bull and two puppies that were half pit bull half lab around the last year and a half, I would have like…7.  Ok 10.

No I won;t cop to any more, and you can;t make me.  Don;t make  me bring out the rubber body suit I half rock.  At least not this week.

I don’t have the right shoes for it.

I see you looking at my shoes there Guap.. which just proves my point..  It;s the guys fault we like shoes.  Yup, that appreciative glance…  they are pretty hot huh?

They pinch the shit outta my toes though –  a complete coincidence  – NOT an indicator that um, not an indicator that we girls would ….

My mother always told me “You must suffer to be beautiful”  And why do we like to be beautiful girls?  C’Mon let me hear you Loud and Proud

BECAUSE!  Right on my sisters….  Because.

So  as I see it I don;t have to say another word.

But you know me.  I always have SOMETHING else to say.

I’ll think of it n a minute.  I must say, you did an outstanding job covering the She said part too.  I’m not sure why  ran to come back here.  oh yeah…

Girls Rule..Boys Drool!  BAM and HA and Damn Fine Skippy!

All right I admit it, I am using diversionary tactics and subliminal suggestion.. circular diversion.

Look at those boys looking at my shoes…just like I said in Guapola… you should probably snap em out of it EG  cause they won’t be much help in the voting..  are we taking a vote?  Guap?  El GUAPO!!

Damn, I am gonna go back and see if the have these shoes in at least…. 3 other shades.  Yes black included.  You are right on that one.  Black is good.  And Practical.

ANd shoe boxes are practical too.  So I beg to differ about us lamenting about not having room because of the shoe boxes.

If you would not have your stuff, there would be plenty of room for our boxes.  Just saying.

I am highly impressed that even though you can;t discern the difference between Mint Green and Sea Green, you know the names of them.  I am proud to be your friend.  🙂

Don’t  think you squeaked the

I’m not saying you shouldn’t get all the shoes your heart desires.

comment in under the radar.  I already called TMWGITU… we are going shopping this afternoon.  I think she has your credit card.

So I guess, I really don;t see your point.  Mine is better.

Oh and hey!  Are you gonna let me visit again next week?  I need to know so I can pick up a pair of Flip Flops.   And running shoes.  Maybe a new pair of strappy sandals….  heels…

You know you like it boys and  we know you like it too…right girls?

green plastic flip flops against colored backg...
next best thing to barefoot... hey are these sea green or mint?

58 thoughts on “He Said / She said – Shoes”

  2. Ok, there’s no way I’m going to be able to discuss this coherently if you’re going to put on the body suit.
    You should think about that for a minute.
    While I go make sure my wife knows my side of the bed is for sleeping on.
    And not shoe box storage.

    Crap, I’m doomed.
    Well played, LizzieC. You’ve almost made me believer.
    But not quite…

    1. lol..you know deep down…you WANT to agree with me..Peer Pressure..BEND TO IT….actually don;t that’s whats so cute about you… hey… I am going for a pedicure… 🙂

      1. Add a topic LizzieC can win, Alex (cause I think this one is all mine)
        (except for the parts where she kicked my ass)
        (ok, that was most of it)
        (But don’t tell lizziec that)

      4. Conspiracy of women? The things you tell yourself… that should be a twitter topic lol.. #thethingswetellourselves…

        all those women in your life you are one lucky guy… 🙂 that;s probably a lot of shoes though..

  7. As someone who will never (ever) admit to owning more than 100 pairs of shoes at any one point in time, I will unequivocally tell you I am known for my shoes. I own around twice as many pairs as EG of those things he would consider “functional”.

    You know, a pair of duck boots, a pair of Victorian boots (unheeled), two pairs of sandals (one gladiator and one slave), one pair of Pilgrim shoes (when only ugly will do), a pair of shower shoes (everyone else calls them flip flops…but these are for showering when we camp) and a pair of Grinch slippers. (The only other flat thing I would put my foot in is a stocking.)

    All the rest have at least 4″ between my heel and the ground. No, they do not hurt. I trip in flat shoes. I dance in heels. And do not make me chase you. You would be surprised how quick I am. My favorite pair is displayed (well, three of them are, at least) on my blog. Even the award I created has a 5″ red, alligator Bini pump…and it is called the “Educational Shoe Award”.

    So there.
    I need to go shopping…
    Red.
    xxx

    1. Red- lol thanks for your perspective – I have to tell you I would not have understood your comment on the level I do if this were six or seven years ago – the need or even desire for the pairs of shoes you describe nor the obvious enthusiasm you have for footwear lol – love it btw 🙂

      but having been enlightened although sadly restrained – or is it oppressed ? by my sometimes precarious financial situation…i.e. money gets tight and I revert to shoes are basic necessities – but if I ever – no – , when I am at a place that I can even walk into a mall – alone preferably – (if I have a kid in tow this most likely will end up being a shoes for them trip lol.)..- I will have no problem feeding my inner shoe freak…freak of course being a complimentary term…. I am positively intrigued by the thought of the Victorian boots with no heels? and had to think on the slave / gladiator sandals ( – the difference is the ….one has the barest foot coverage and the wind around ties and the other more foot coverage with wide leather and only ankle high – which reduces the possibility of footwear being a liability?) and a bit of nostalgia at the mention of Grinch slippers… that may be a good topic of debate – monster slippers vs Grinch slippers lol…..which of course then leads me to the conclusion – I think I should go shopping too…. DSW anyone?

      the fact that you can run surprisingly fast in heels – don;t make me chase you lmao – has me thinking that when we get the running naked with scissors club going – we ought to do it in heels – what do you think? itt lends a ninja like quality to the whole thing I think…always good to keep the element of surprise on your side right? Running Naked, With Scissors in 4 inch heels – easy to underestimate the power of that… 🙂

      1. Oh, by all means we need a heeled division of the RNWS Club. Or at least an event. *Evil Grin*

        DSW is a brilliant place to shop. I do not go out often (try never), but my shoedom is known so far and wide, it is not unusual for my friends to have pinned shoes on my social media walls. I have a sister who is equally afflicted with shoeitis. Like I, she considers shoes quarry.

        We are not above driving a (few) hundred miles to meet one another to shoe shop…but I inevitably end up with a hat as well. I can think of at least three events in the last year where I went in search of an OUTFIT to match the shoes I wanted to wear.

        Oh, I did miss one pair of flats I own…A forest green (yes, another staple in the green family) pair of elven (not those hideous pointy toed atrocities of a few years ago), suede over the knee boots, replete with thigh laces. Can you say tunic, scarf and PEacoat?

        ❤
        Red

        (Who exits via bookmark to order a fabbo pair of ankle boots and delicious pair of strappy sandals…which will both add at least five inches to the ultra-short height ;). Checks calendar for next time will be in Lizzie's area for shopping.)

      2. Oh, there ain’t no good gonna come of this.
        Just let me know which precinct to make the bail check out to.
        (Because paying bail gives me life time “I told you so” rights!) 😛

      5. I’m thinking an event just won’t be enough… heels required! Exceptions will be made of course with appeal.. I don’t want to exclude anyone on a shoe issue but overall I am just taken with the idea – the mental picture is …fantastic 🙂

        My grandma never wore anything below at least a 3″ heel (to include house “slippers” picture slides with the feathery poof on the toes at least 3″ in more than one color ) until 1980 when she had a serious heart attack…any heart attack being serious I guess but I clearly remember the sense of wonder and awe I had as my mom and I cleaned out her closet before she came home..oh my every color and type and ..and..

        My mom has shoes for every outfit and I have no idea how the bug passed me – I do actually.. I ignore it because of tramatic childhood shoe incidents wherin I was teased terribly for having the wrong pair of shoes with my outfit. I am just gonna throw it out here..they were boat shoes. There I said it. I hold no ill will towards boat shoes however – it wasn’t their fault just a bad combination –

        YES Guap..there ARE things that won;t go with boat shoes

        Ahh loving the image of your other flats you forgot…*staring off dreamily*…

        And I say if you got a bail CC and Guapman has bail money set aside..what bad an come from any of it? I think I will start a shoe fund so that I will be ready at a moments notice to shop 🙂

  8. The closest match in my big ol’ box of 64 Crayolas is Sea Green for the base and Yellow Green for the straps! 😉

      1. Nope, it’s actually a 64 count box of Crayola crayons.

        One of the basic rules of life is to always, always have a box of Crayolas in the house. (You just never know when you’ll need to match a color.)

      2. that is an excellent house rule! I think I shall adopt it – adapt it? no adapt it would be to change it … although…nope no change nedessary I love crayola crayons. Used to think they tasted pretty good too apparently.

        The first pair of ust because shoes I bought after my divorce – the just becasue shoes that screamed Lizzie… were such an odd, cool color of green.. would have loved to have had the crayola rule to be able to name them. 🙂

  9. Below is a comment I got, along with my response.
    This round is yours, LizzieC. But I shall return for the next round of He Said/She Said!!!

    barkinginthedark | April 4, 2012 at 21:13 | Reply | Edit

    in manhattan – nyc, not kansas, for more years than i care to remember, i went barefoot, and rode a 650 BSA motorcycle. now, unless it’s a dressy deal, it’s mostly moccasins. and i literally have 40 pair of shoes. i love your back and forth…and i LOVE seeing a woman in high heels. continue…

    El Guapo | April 4, 2012 at 21:34 | Reply | Edit

    40 pairs?!?
    Ah well, if she can get an erudite man such as yourself Tony, then I guess the gig is up.
    Well played LizzieC. Well played.
    I am off to lick my wounds.
    And maybe get a new pair of cowboy boots… 😉

  10. ohhhh cowboy boots – now there is a something that speaks to me… Love me some cowboy boots – they just make a man appear…taller, cowboylier… mmm hmmmm

    I have to say, I am feeling pretty pleased with the whole experience. Ya never know what you can do until you try and I consider the above comment be proof of my awesomeness- I can do that? AND yours as well – without you being awesome I could not have been….funny how that works eh? this is one of those instances where – we sure brought out each others awesomeness and there is no I in team with that said –

    appreciate the concession and you finally admitting the obvious…. 🙂

    but you didn;t really lose…- the debate – oh yes 🙄 but eventually you will win one of those too… so no pouting. Until I lose then I can pout all I want. 🙂

    thanks bunches Guap…until the next great mystery of men’s ignorance uh the sexes differing and maddening point of view can be cleared up.. .

    maybe you should wear the rubber body suit next time… wow…I think I need some sleep 🙂

  11. I only own four pairs of shoes/boots. My shoes for work are black, and they go with anything. I have a pair of running shoes, for running. I have a pair of rubber boots (black with red bottoms) for slushy weather and maybe fishing, and I have a pair of snowmobile boots…for (you guessed it) snowmobiling…
    I loved the post though, my lady has many shoes and I really cannot understand why..even to the point of different shades of brown and black.

    1. black rubber boots with red bottoms…I dunnoooo sounds a little like.. not a necessary pair to me… 🙂
      you have to have different shades of brown and black – why? it;s a long explanation just take my word for it 🙂

  12. That was fun he said/ she said. I don’t miss the pain from a pair of gray shoes I once had. Why I would wear them at all is beyond me glad they are gone. My toes are much for it a small loss. I’ve never been a huge shoe shopper but I guess there’s always time. :+)

    1. I just started in the last few years – I think it is safe to say if not for the puppies – who made it their mission to chew up every pair…the pit bull would literally get in my closet and dig til he found shoes… I would probably have more than I needed but not all I wanted…. sigh.. I had one pair that I never got the chance to wear and honestly am not sure I would have… they were 4 ” heels which would put me at ..6′ and strappy with – oh spike heels…got them on sale plus discount for… $5 ..who can pass that up? never even got the tags off them….

  13. Both of my pairs of shoes are laughing…. 🙂 And, as I expected, the comments section was as good as the posting….. thanks for a bit of time out of body….. he said, shoelessly….

      1. Aye, I did… great concept, and productive for both of you… I won’t even think for a second it was a way to break a block for you both…. you guys wouldn’t do that, I know….

        So, are you and Ginger getting your Ball gowns fitted soon?…. I already shined my shoe….

      3. How could I have not guessed you would show your own royal style? I look forward to that vision, for sure, and the photos in the Tattler…. and leave the bloodstains on the scissors, much more dramatic against your pearly, glittery ass… 🙂

      4. hmmm I was considering my ceremonial scissors… the fighting ones.. wow – you think there will be need for them? I don;t have too many places to hide them though…see..nothing up my sleeve… 🙂

      5. I don’t think you’ll need them, but as with any weapon, it won’t do you any good if you leave it at home, should the occasion arise… plus it doesn’t really matter which ones you take, as long as you have them, and they complement the shoes…. You can always wear them on your thigh, slipped through a decorative garter designed to hold them…. they’ll be right there at hand, and look sexy to boot… bet you didn’t know I’m a closet fashion consultant…. especially in how to tastefully conceal deadly weapons…

      6. you are just full of delightful surprises 🙂 Liking garter idea… I will talk to Ginger about finding or creating a title to encompass all your talents 🙂 you know it will be a good one that will make a statement of your greatness in 35 words ot less with Ginger and I on it… then ..you can edit it too.. cept you got the wordy thing too.. maybe we shall make it a new world order rule… Twitter shall be no less than 140 WORDs not no more than 140 characters… ohh I am really on a roll now…. 🙂

      7. Whatever you two come up with will be fine, I’m certain… though, as you say, I’ll probably have a comment (have you noticed I can’t seem to stop?…. no support groups, either…) And if you are on a roll, which you obviously are, I’ll just step back, sit down, and enjoy the show…. just in case of splattering glitter…

      8. I can’t believe you’re encouraging this, Gigoid.
        Have we learned nothing form the Great Shoe Debate???

        (plus glittery ass, dude – Oh, maybe she can find some ascension-appropriate assless chaps?)

  14. I now have the urge to go to zappos. Which I don’t think was the point, was it? Or maybe, it was. And since you ask, I’d call those flippers a kellyish-lime green. So not sea foam.

      2. is that….steam I see coming from your comment box? er..my comment box? Bring it 🙂 I am ready for a spirited and silly debate… itchin for one actually..

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