Trifecta Challenge

My entry for the Trifecta challenge.  There are two challenges a week, the weekend challenge provides a prompt and you must use exactly 33 words.  The prompt this week is, the phone rang at 4am and these 5 words do not count towards the word total.  I would really like your opinions…honestly  thanks 🙂

The phone rang at 4am,,,

whilst she and Dream drank joy with clotted cream.
Delighting in bouncing on clouds,
while racing silver moonbeams.
She rose to go, feeling  Dream’s  sorrow
Don’t worry my  friend,, return I will tomorrow.,

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41 thoughts on “Trifecta Challenge”

  1. Honestly? I LOVE IT! Very good. I don’t know all the proper words to describe poetry but I felt it, the dreaming waking disappointment at having to break away from your dream. Been there.

    1. thank you 🙂 this is my first attempt at this challenge – ok not attempt, entry, I attempted wretched – the weekly challenge this last week….hahaha…this is a good challenge for me because I have problems with word count… 🙂 appreciate your input thanks.

    1. I do too really….they have some brilliant entries on there, I kinda feel like the kid who …wow hahaha I forgot what I was going to say… out of my element for sure. I tried Wretched and i couldn’t get it under 333 words – can you even believe that? 🙂 I started this yesterday….you shoud try it – just write a little blurb then take out the extra words and reform it..you can do it and come up with something great i bet! this is nothing like i started with well the concept and about 7 words…maybe i’ll post it below if i still have it…i obviously was feeling restricted at 33 words and now i can;t stop huh? lol

      2. I am going to join in the chorus here. The only reason I have been doing these is NOT because I feel like I am capable, but rather to support one of the founders, a beloved cyberfriend. I mean, how can I not. Some of the community came in from another positive writing challenge, all so far are very excited to read each other’s work.

        Please, GingerSnap, come for the fun and not the competition, and soon you’ll feel the boost of your confidence just by playing along! The more the merrier!

    1. Lol….. I actually started from the what the hell angle… But so many times the phone has rang or the alarm clock has gone off and my dream transformed it to something there and I slept right through.. Too many words so its kinda trying to catch the wistfulness of having to leave your dream… Cause I don’t sleep much but I love to when I do. – wasn’t sure about clotted cream..but it sounded…good 🙂

  9. Thanks so much for linking up to Trifextra. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community, so make sure you visit the site at the close of the challenge to vote. Our linking service will not allow you to vote for a link from the same computer where it was submitted, so plan ahead! Voting closes 12 hours after the close of the challenge. Winners will be announced with the Monday post. Hope to see you back then.

  13. My favorite part is when she feels Dream’s sorrow as she readies to leave. This was such an interesting take on the prompt and one that I really enjoyed. Well done.

  14. I like the dream-like quality and the rhyming scheme. I read this five times ina row just to get the flow down. Great work.

    1. Wha??? Thank you… 4 reallies?? Wow …nuh uh…. wait you wouldn;t tease me like that would you…….
      I was just announcing to everybody how you got FRESHLY PRESSED!!! and didn’t even…i forgot to look…..CONGRATS TO YOU BIGGER 🙂 and thanks

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