For the Love of Lizzie – what would you do?

Lizzie Borden

Um...scuse me wrong pic..I said Cracked not Lizzie Borden NO not the same...

You can misinterpret that in many ways –

Is it – Oh for the Love of Lizzie!  as in an exclamation in some sort of frustration…

Or

as in;  (go with it here cue Klondike Bar music) what would you do ew eww oo  for a Lizzie Cracked..(bar?)   😕

Or

Going  Dr Seuss ish;

I am Sam, Sam I am
do you like Lizzie Cracked with ham? … (spam maybe?) 
would you eat her in a box

but I can see many, many things going wrong with that.  :-0

Anyways the point is  – I can’t really remember why I came up with the title, or where I was going with it, but I like it so I’m keeping it.

It was in my draft box which I often call my rejection bin – rejection for ejection.   There usually isn’t much in it but I have had a few good ideas end up there lately just because I wasn’t feeling it.  Normally I come up with whatever I come up with on the fly.  Even the Mental Moments are whatever tickles me that day.

Sometimes,  a title will just pop right into my head.  Pop! And I have no clue where to go with it.  In fact I can count on less than one hand the number of posts I wrote and then thought up a title.

Some of it is just dark stuff.  I’ve been in a bit of a low spot and I don’t even want to read some of the stuff I wrote so I am certainly not going to torture you with it.  It’s not like its bitter and hateful or full of obnoxious bad attitude – well there is that one…oh anyways,

It’s actually pretty profound deep thought stuff but it makes my head hurt.  So I was sifting through the rif raf and I figured hey! why not.  May be if I ramble on for a few thousand words it will come to me.

Or Not –

(Now would be a good time to place your bets).   🙂

Sometimes  I have a really good idea of what I want to do with it and my brain is just too overloaded to form it  – almost like not being able to paint the way my brain is showing it to me.  Trying to pull a coherent read worthy post out of the chaos is just too much effort.

 That usually happens when I am on a down slide. Then I just shut it off for a while.  Or try to anyways.  Retreat and try to sort it all out.  If I can’t stop the storm, I go on overwhelm and then I forget to sort it out and things hit me from all different angles and I want to beat my head on the wall just to shut it up. Um..no not the voices.  My whole head.

I like the voices, they keep me company...  sorry just messing with you.  Just a little cracked humor  – hey let’s mess with  folks and see what happens – hardy har har. 😀

Really though, you can get some good reactions out of people when they aren’t sure just how crazy you are and they have watched too many Law and Order episodes where the homicidal maniac was bipolar or schizophrenic or a plain old nutball.  Never just a straight sociopath though have you noticed that?  They never get the credit.

John Munch

Just as we suspected the homicidal maniac was NOT a sociopath!!

Anyways,  back to what we were chatting about which still isn’t what it was meant to be but…I am committed now…(or ought to be?)

This is where, or that, I should say… (up there, the head on the wall frustration part)  that  is where I sometimes  lose my footing and fall. When I get to that point.   The nature of bipolar –  two opposite extremes, there is a dark side and it’s  not so bright down there.  And I am afraid of the dark.

I hate going there,  but sometimes I do and sometimes I can let go enough to go with it and ride it out and float instead of crash, and not go so far down before I can get back up.   It’s a neat trick I learned this past year.

And I don’t beat myself up too much anymore for being how I am.

Which brings me to …..  hey!  I got it.  It was a question to myself!

The title – the thought, the original purpose.  Yes!!

I was in a place recently where someone was putting stupid obstacles in the way of… being in my life.

And it dawned on me that these obstacles that weren’t even real was a statement that although this person loves me, they don’t love me enough.

When you love someone, you will climb mountains to be with them.  You would rope the moon if that was the challenge put in your path to have something real together.  At least you would try.

You don’t make up imaginary battlefields and excuses.  If someone is saying “I love you…but”  they are really saying…  “I love you but not enough”   

And so I asked myself,  I said Self ..  what I would do for me?  How far would I go?  Who better to ask?

The answer was far enough, and a lot farther than what I was being shown.

Yea I have a pretty high standard and I have fought hard to say I really love who I am so maybe it’s possible that I would do more for a Lizzie Cracked (bar?) than anyone else but even bringing the bar down a bit  – because I am not going to settle either….

He didn’t come close.  And the answer for him is –

Nope – No Lizzie Cracked (bar?)  FOR YOU!!!!!

You may love the Lizzie Cracked –  you just don’t love her enough.  

So that just leaves me with a question for you dear readers….  what would YOU do..

for a Klondike Bar?    I was sick the day it was my turn and I really want one – 

The logo of Klondike bar

You would do WHAT? Here have it,,that IS enough!

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11 responses to “For the Love of Lizzie – what would you do?

  1. Yet despite being afraid of the dark, a wise woman once said that the cracked let in the light.
    (Ok, she quoted someone else, but she still said it.)
    (Sheesh, tough crowd)

    I bet she brings light into the dark too.

    Not such a fan of the Klondike Bar, so I’ll just keep reading the blog…

    • this little light of mine… i’m gonna let it shine… thanks for reminding me 🙂

      between you and me – i’m more of a dove bar girl myself. more chocolate! (and rich but not expensive)

  2. you know, everytime I get an email telling me that running naked with scissors has posted a new blog, it makes me grin. I love your blog name so much! This was a great read btw… love it!!

    • Thanks! 🙂
      The name fits in more ways than I even thought when I embarked on this endeavor. It actually started out Running with Scissors but that was taken – once I had my mind set on it I found out it wasn;t available and not being able to settle on any of the other names I had listed, I added the naked – which made it so much more than it would have been – it was weird too becasue the day after I set up my blog I typed in my blog name accidentally forgetting naked and it came back with Running with scissors has been deleted… so I figure it was meant to be. I always do a mental check when I get the email that says Xanax or Running Shoes… like hmmmmm which one today? – 🙂

      • lol if it makes you feel better, I never know either. Sometimes until well after breakfast… and then I have to check again after lunch… That’s great, I definitely love the title, it’s funny when I title can pull you in, and then great content just makes it better!

  3. I love you but . . . ! Danger! Danger! Warning! Will Robinson! Well, you’re on to that one. Yay! If there’s ever a big but attached to the phrase I love you then that automatically downgrades it to an I like you alot. (Unless it’s one of your kids of course in which case almost everything can be labeled “I love you but . . . you need to clean up your room, brush your teeth, etc.

    Here’s one thing I know though. The older you get the less things hurt. Just a natural progression of the human condition, I think.

    But also the older you get the more there isn’t much you would not do for a Klondike bar either. So now we’re back to the topic of big butts! How did that happen? 🙂

    • yes there is a but exception with kids I agree….

      If it hurts less as you get older can I just plan on this being the last great heartbreak? anyone after this one is – just a flesh wound!

      This i love you but… is from the same… it’s like the words to Colder Weather the Zac Brown Band

      I love you but I’ll leave you
      I don;t want you but I need you… yea… its like that.

      ah well so what would you do for a Klondike bar? lol

  4. Pingback: Happy Talk from The Coffee Spot 2/19/12 « Running Naked With Scissors·

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