Dr Phil – Advice Like a Twinkie – 10 Years and Still Fresh (kinda)

English: Hostess Twinkies. Yellow snack cake w...
best if eaten by 2024

You remember Dr. Phil?  He is that therapist from Texas that Oprah made famous.  Ten years ago actually.

I was Google surfing and stumbled across his website.  I am amazed at how far he has come.  I kinda lost a little faith when Relationship Rescue didn’t rescue the relationship.  Ok  really,  a lot of faith.  I did the damn work and it didn’t work.   I jumped off his band wagon because I thought he was getting a little big for his britches being famous and all.  I admit, I was just in a snit because I did all that work for nothing.

I loved this guy.  It was so refreshing to hear someone pretty much tell the pansy asses who had lame lives and blamed their parents to pull their heads out of their asses. Wow was that cool.  The collective gasp when he listened to some poor excuse of why someone was still acting like a victim 20 years after they had been victimized and said “Oh get REAL!”  then proceeded to point out the flaws of the excuse was…music.  He didn’t give a rat’s ass about being PC or hurting someone’s feelings if they needed a shove back to reality.  He was real.  Is real.  And it seems still going full steam ahead.  On his own, instead of Oprah’s, momentum.  Good for Dr. Phil.  He brought back personal accountability.

English: Phil McGraw photographed for the cove...
Get Real!

I don’t know what made me think of him – oh wait,  yes I do!  The Google surfing.  But I was pretty excited because I remembered that he had the one self-help book that I think actually sunk into my brain.  I reference it often in my daily life without really thinking about where it came from and I know I have a copy around here somewhere.  I remember thinking I would get my kids a copy when they were older – oops I forgot.  What is that saying about the road to hell?

So I mentioned him to 18 yo OH SO VERY PREGNANT DAUGHTER (she is ready to pop!) .  I started telling her about what I learned and how cool he was and she interrupts me and says

Yeah I know who he is.  He’s an asshole!

To which I just look at her, stunned.

Wha? Wha Whaaaaa? 

I don’t understand. It’s inconceivable to me that I just heard her say this.  I asked her why and she explained that his in your face attitude was meany mean and she just didn’t understand who would want to be his patient.  I mean look how he talks to people she said.

Well  Yeaa!  that’s the beauty of it.  He doesn’t let anyone get away with it – whatever it is at that particular moment.

Honestly between you me and the lamp-post  –   if I knew where one was – I am not so sure I would want him to be my therapist either.  But I think he should be a lot of other people’s.  Yep.  I have a few people I would like to see face Dr Phil and come out with the same pissy attitudes they have now.

I got the same reaction as 18 yo several more times.  After pondering the problem for a while I realized the not so nice opinion of the good doctor was coming from people who were young (er) and that they didn’t get it because they weren’t around when he first appeared.

So I explained to them that before Dr Phil, nobody wanted to make the people who had issues –( do I really need to clarify that I am not talking about legitimate mental illness or can we just assume I mean everyday life issues?  Not to say that mentally ill people don’t have everyday issues that they still need to be accountable for but – uh…hand me that shovel?  )  such as cheaters, and beaters and child abusers and just plain old ignorant (as in possibly stupid) fools accountable for their actions.  They were coddled and babied and pansy assed into believing they couldn’t change because their parents screwed them up and it wasn’t their fault ….boo flipping hoo!  Ad nauseum.

Then one day here comes this bigger than life goofball (in a good way) of a guy and he listens to some sob story and at the point where he was supposed to say

Oh you poor poor thing it’s your parent’s fault.  You are doomed to be wishy-washy the rest of your miserable life….

or something similar.  Dr. Phil says,

Get REAL!!  It’s not your mother that caused this – you had a mediocre childhood so what?  Get over it and just stop!

Wow!  I mean WOW!  

On a personal note I think I had been exposed to enough of the it’s not your fault therapy to make me want to crawl in my bed and not get out til I died.  It didn’t make sense to me that I was doomed to bad things because of someone else or that even if it was someone else’s fault – and I have had that too where I can legitimately blame another for the hurt and dysfunction – that was the end of that – I could not grasp being in that hole of darkness the rest of my life

Little did I know then, how deep that hole went but that’s for another day a long time from now anyways…

This guy was saying that it didn’t matter – if we could name it and  claim it,  no matter why it was there –  we could change it.  Wow.  There is no reason to remain a victim – no reason not tomake it better.  Just first,  you have to admit it.

dr Phil
Do NOT be a pansy ass!

On top of it he was funny and a little sarcastic at times.  I like that you know.

So I ran right out and bought the book  that I mentioned earlier.  Life Strategies – 10 Life Laws – something very much like that anyways.  It’s close enough you would be able to find it.   I believe it  is his  first book and in my opinion his best.   I will admit that I only read this one and one other, Relationship Rescue – and well yeah.  I got the workbook for that to dammit and it wasn’t cheap!

Let me just get right to the point here… succinctly.  🙄

It should be the handbook they issue when you get your bullshit bucket.  Life Strategies was 10 laws of life, that I dare anyone to refute as being  untrue. ( however as you will see it is your perception that is the reality  so refute to your heart’s content if that’s how you see it I am telling you…..true!!)

Not only are they true,-  or is it because they are true – and so simple –

They are like Twinkies…  just as good today as they were ten years ago.  

And I am going to enlighten you…  Share the wealth ya know!

The 10 Life Laws (and my particular translation of them)

  • Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t.  Um…Duh!
  • Life Law #2: You create your own experience.   It’s not about what someone did to you – it’s what you do with you.
  • Life Law #3: People do what works.  There is always some sort of pay off – every behavior has a reward – good or bad – if you wonder why someone is acting like a first-rate prick, find out what they get out of it.  You wouldn’t believe the advantage of this knowledge, and amazingly it can open your heart and mind to compassion.  Even for the first-rate prick.  At the very least you will have some patience and barring that, you can nanny nanny boo boo in your head that you know something they probably don’t.
  • Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.  That first-rate prick has no hope of changing if he can’t acknowledge he is one. I mean Duh!
  • Life Law #5: Life rewards action. when have you gotten anywhere sitting on your ass?
  • Life Law #6: There is no reality; only perception.  This one is great to remember in an argument.  If you are a calmer head that prevails and don’t get pissed when someone is trying to tell you something that is just WRONG – it lends towards listening to what the other person is saying with enough detachment to HEAR them.  If you are not calm you can at least scream at them that they wouldn’t know reality if it bit them in the ass.  And know you are right!
  • Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.  kinda like bipolar disorder
  • Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.  We do.  Period.  I’ll debate it all day long and believe me I know what the argument is going to be.  Do not read deserve into it.  As in you deserved to get the shit beat out of you.  I struggled a little with the difference.  There is one.
  • Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.   True forgiveness of others and yourself  releases you from anger and resentment.  That is powerful.
  • Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it.  – yeah this one I am not so sure about.  I have yet to claim the grand prize in the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes and see there ?  I very clearly named it.

Well folks that is my perception of Dr. Phil’s Life Law’s.

If they were a perfume, they would be timeless,
a movie they would be a classic and
if they were a food they would be a Twinkie

do you have any idea what the shelf life of those things is?

Box of Twinkies
delicious and long lasting
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21 thoughts on “Dr Phil – Advice Like a Twinkie – 10 Years and Still Fresh (kinda)”

  1. Ah yes, the old bait and switch. Come for the twinkies, get life lessons instead.
    I think what you’re saying comes down to people needing to have some things explained to them in a way that resonates with them and that they can understand.
    Someone who has unlocked the secrets of the universe but can’t explain them isn’t really that helpful…
    Upfront, I gotta say, I’m not a Doctor Phil fan. He always struck me as kind of condescending to people that (for whatever reason) didn’t know what he was talking about. Perhaps on the page (as opposed to the tube) he is better.

    So even though I’m not a fan, I am very happy that his stuff resonates with you and anything that helps you figure it out I am all for!

    I will give Dr. Phil one huge prop: his bit in the opening of Scary Movies 4 was hilarious.

    Rock on, lizziecracked!

    1. Actually – shhhh – I know exactly what you mean….here’s what I think..I mean you do want to know right? ok I saw him like the first week he was on Oprah..and he was empathetic, he had compassion, he was all about get real but he was real too, even in his no bullshit approach. He was abrupt yes but he was not unkind. I really liked the guy and yes I do think there is something to these life laws – AND they have stuck with me so I have to think they make damn good sense – oh! wait it’s me, maybe not so much 🙄 but as the get real became his spiel shtick…whatnot – it became exaggerated – and he lost some of that compassion. A lot of it and he then came across as a bully. And whatever I read on his website the other night, was not like he used to be. He used to be like a good friend that will tell you your butt looks big in the jeans but in a nice yet matter of fact way and then be there to help you get over the whatever it is you have to get over – now it’s as if he is making judgments – the comment I read was actually offensive because he basically said that if you do this – you are scum. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I am a true believer n personal accountability – it gives us our own power back – but I also am full overflowing with compassion and empathy -it’s true I promise 🙂 but personal accountability and understanding does not NOT give us the right to be condescending to or sit in judgement of anyone. Somewhere along the way I felt like he went from I want to help you to I am better than you so if you know what is good for you you will listen to me. It’s sad because I think it was part of the marketing of him. Anyways – I really truly am all about only half of these – that I live daily and would argue with anyone not to be right but because I do believe they help with just getting along in life. #1 – 3 -4 – 8 – 9 🙂 Peace –

      1. Ah, got it. And I think being accountable and holding people accountable and having empathy and compassion are huge.
        As always, you are the coolest, lizziecracked.

      2. which makes you by association also the coolest – hahahahahaha as if – you are the coolest 😎 in your own right! Birds of a feather – Moths to a Flame Great Minds take your pick. It’s all good 😉

        THANKS! 😀

  4. Very good post! I don’t think men like Dr. Phil. I know my husband cannot stand him. I liked him at first, and he is really good at cutting to the core and telling it like it is. But as time when on I felt like he was getting kind of full of himself (and who wouldn’t as an Oprah favorite). But I agree he definitely was a breath of fresh air in his approach. I love that you summarized the book for me. I think I have it somewhere, but I didn’t read it and here’s why. I rarely read self-help books from beginning to end. I just read the parts I like and then put them down. When I buy used self help books I have to laugh because the person who had it before will have every other line highlighted in yellow marker and as you get farther into the book all the yellow highlights stop. I guess they’re just like me! Anyway loved this!
    🙂

    1. I dunno if you read the comments from/to El Guapo (the great! ) I pretty much laid it out how I feel about Dr Phil. I didn’t even know what I thought these days …so you know what I mean what I was trying to explain about how when he first came on the scene – he was a much needed kick in the ass. It just got too much I guess.

      Hahahah I bet you have bought a couple of my books then lol…I have a whole box in the closet too. I really liked that first book though and it changed my perspective a bit in a good way. I think at the time though he was on weekly on Oprah and did a different law every week and it was reinforcing to read the book and see him as well –

      I wonder how one gets to be an Oprah favorite ??? I’m already nuts so I can’t be full of myself cause I got too much baggage –

      🙂 Happy New Year!!

    1. You’re welcome! I finally figured out how to do it and surprisingly it wasn’t hard at all…I want to do one with just other links and I guess its time to take down the Christmas decorations 😦 I may have to overhaul lol…

    1. Yes I forget that people weren’t always so in your face as they are now and that where as now he just seems like another – i dunno what – back then he was so needed (I think) thanks for stopping by 🙂
      Peace

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