Great Googly Moogly!! (who the heck is in charge?)

The Guitar World According to Frank Zappa

It’s days like today that get me wondering once again who the HECK is in charge.   Today is the shortest day of the year – Winter Solstice.  Oh I am sorry shortest daylight hours of the year.  From here on out the daylight gets longer incrementally until the Summer Solstice on the something of June.  (21?)

So I wonder, what were the Powers That Be thinking putting the shortest daylight day right in the mad rush before Christmas – or in relative proximity to the other festive holidays celebrated this time of year.

It isn’t such a hardship now what with electricity and all, but I can’t even fathom being a mid-evil  peasant trying to finish up the Christmas shopping on such little daylight.  That was serious stuff back in the day, the sun rising late and setting early.

They had to crunch all the normal serf (ly) activities like ….whatever it is they did AND get ready for the festivities, all before the sun set.  Because when the sun set.  It was dark..  I wonder if that is the real reason it was called the Dark Ages.   I am a little rusty on my history.  But the problem with that theory of course is that The Age of Enlightenment would then have to come when  there was light –  and I am not sure if that was the case either.

It would be my luck that Jay Leno would stop me – well not him really, the people who work for him that find the other people in the street and ask them questions like – Who was the 1st President of the United States and think it is hilarious when they say something idiotic like – “Sean Connery”

Well I would get the question of When were the Dark Ages? and When was the Age of Enlightenment?  I just know it.  Is that even on anymore?  Is Jal Leno still alive?   How do I not KNOW this stuff?   Usually it’s not a problem to find the right answer but this daylight thing has me knocked a little wonky –

I mean Great Googly Moogly – now that is from Frank Zappa.  Why the hell I could get access to that information this morning and not all the stuff  before I have not a clue.  I havent’ heard that in years and years…years  I tell you.  Something about stink foot and yellow snow…I know good ol Frank has left the building but when was that (1993?) ?

Watch out where the huskies go.  Don’t you eat that yellow snow!

Sound advice that is for sure.

It doesn’t even snow here.  We don’t do Daylight Savings and it really throws me to be up at 5 am and not see the sun until after the kids have to be up for school.  I mean damn that’s just wrong.

Christmas lights on cactus and visitors from afar wearing shorts and flip-flops?  Meanwhile I am freezing my butt off at night because I have a heat pump and apparently they aren’t much good below anything cold.  It’s like having a window open.  I have a space heater in my room.  I grew up in Colorado – do you know how cold it gets there?  Cold.  And I have never owned a space heater in my life.

So electricity or not this Winter Solstice thing is just nuts.  I don’t have time to give in to this kind of madness.  Not 3 days before Christmas Eve.  Goodness,  Why not February?  Shortest day (light) in the shortest month.

If it were not at such a busy time I’d be a great fan of less daylight. In fact, I would have made a great peasant.  They had no electricity and pretty much did the up with the sun and to bed at dark thing . Winter would be – at the very least – a great time for … reflection.

Yup, I had a dr tell me once during one of my pregnancies that I come from good peasant stock.   Child bearing hips, I don’t even know what the hell except I get the feeling I would have a way bigger Gaggle than I do if I had been lucky enough to have a little dirt hovel way back when.

I think there was a lot less wife leaving going on back then too because they took commitment a little more seriously.  Ok , ownership.  Of course the life expectancy was something like 25 so a lifetime commitment made at 16 was just a quick minute.  Easy.   But I got news for you if you think the women were all hot bodies with great tits because they never got past 25 – by 23 they were looking older than I do now.  Older than my grandma looks now.  And no teeth to boot.

Probably because they were  booted out.  Less leaving but more beating.  I don’t want to even go there today.  I wouldn’t fare well and serf or not, laws or not,  I’m not gonna shut my mouth and no man is ever gonna make me again.  The Taming of the Shrew,  although have you read that – seen the play??  Isn’t it a movie?  Crap.  I mean it’s a supposed comedy & love story and I like those but realistically what a bunch of  misogynistic women are weak and property hooey bunk!    There would be no taming of this shrew.  

In all honesty I would probably have a hole drilled in my head to release the demons  OR I would be tried as a witch.  I might have made it if they put me on the scale with the duck but at the very least I’d have a Scarlett Letter A on my forehead.  They would have to put it on my forehead because they could kiss my ass before I put it on my damn dress.

It’s a big Pagan holiday today – and I think it would have been lots of fun back then, when they were all the rage,  to have participated fully.  Now it’s just lumped in with everything else happening this month – oh heck this week.

What an odd coincidence that Jesus the dear child happened to be born right around the Winter Solstice?  I think not.  I heard he wasn’t really born in December that somebody who thought they were important decided to celebrate now so the Pagans wouldn’t have a hard time with the transition.

I don’t have time for a fact-finding mission now because there isn’t much daylight left.  And I have lots to do.  Links people,  links.

Don’t forget  – and it’s easy to when you are trying to beat the clock – or the dark really.  Stay away from the yellow snow.  It isn’t made from sunshine.  And just in case you were wondering, the crux of the biscuit, is the apostrophe.  Fun facts for short days.  

And if anybody knows who is charge of this three-ring circus, could you let them know I would like to have a little chat?  

Nothing serious and  I would settle for Frank Zappa…  

(it is his birthday by the way, Just saying )  

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11 responses to “Great Googly Moogly!! (who the heck is in charge?)

  1. Ah! What a fun stream of consciousness ride that was! Soo funny! I think I’d made a good medieval peasant too!

    And yes, it was quite nice of Baby Jesus to time his birth so close to the winter soltice! He must have been dreaming of a white Christmas!

    Loved this, Lizzie!:)

    • That is exactly what it is. I just wrote what I was thinking (yes some editing of the thought process) bizarre as it may be. Well not to you 🙂 I knew you would get it 🙂 Strangely, and it is strange, to me, indeed, I started with the Winter Solstice and progressed into Frank Zappa – I think it was the short days to thinking of Alaska to Sled dogs to Huskies peeing in the snow etc etc….well I haven’t really thought of Frank Zappa or the Crux of the biscuit – I had no idea it was his birthday today…it was at the end of my post that I was looking up something else and came across that fun fact. I can only surmise I must have known it somewhere in my subconscious and it it is a good example of listening to what you are telling yourself/….uh, yeah I see why your brain has a name. lol. As far as Baby Jesus, I think it had more to do with the Pope and the conundrum of converting the Pagans. I could be talking out my ass..but something like that. Anyways, I haven’t just gone with it for a while now. It was fun. 🙂
      Peace

  2. You could do what I do when the winter solstice rolls around: Start counting down to the first day of spring.
    I already have my hawaiian shirt picked out!

    And from Apocopalypse Now:
    “Who’s in charge here?”
    “Ain’t you?”

    • I miss the definitive seasons – here it’s spring one day and then it’s hell – uh hot.
      I haven’t seen that movie in a long time – totally forgot that part. Until you brought it up lol.
      🙂 Peace

  3. Pingback: Happy Talk from The Coffee Spot 12/24 « Running Naked With Scissors·

  4. Now that all the solstice festivities have come to rest and we are picking up a bit more sunlight, I had a chance to peruse your witty ramblings. Makes me wonder what role dear old Frank would have taken in the Dark Ages. Perhaps the shrews in need of taming are the shrew tamers themselves. They can impose their rigid order on your government, religion, civil structure, and all else, but you need not welcome their structure into the sanctity of your own head. The last true frontier. However, my “last true frontier” is still waiting for that Age of Enlightenment thing. Should I call Jay Leno?
    -Dave

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