Grown Up Rules Suck! ….(or; I like Candy, So What? The Grown Up Police Can Kiss My Ass!.)

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I think that probably every one  of us in our childish ignorance could not wait to grow up. Oh I Know,  I  just made the dreaded generalization and to counter it, I do realize that somewhere out there is probably someone  who recognized the benefits and  savored each and every moment of childhood, including doing the dishes and picking up dog poop.     And then of course there are those of us who couldn’t wait to grow up and now that we are here by default (as in age) refuse to act like it.  In my case, it’s not in defiance.  I am not trying to be childish to prove a point or make a statement.  I just am. I will chalk it up to the bipolar.  I have heard a couple of theories on that but mostly it’s  just because I found I can get away with it if I say that.  Sad, but true.  As a rule I don’t blame bipolar disorder in order to deny personal accountability.  I fall back on that type of statement to avoid going into left field and therefore completely beyond the scope of the point I am trying to make.

It’s a common occurrence in life.   We want something, are filled with anticipation, and move full steam ahead without really realizing the consequences or what we may lose by gaining what we think we want.   But once on our way, there is no going back.  Growing up, getting older is inevitable.  We start that process they day we are born so no matter what it can not be stopped – well there is one way to stop it but I can honestly say I have never heard anybody say  “I am so excited, I can not WAIT until I die.”  Just saying….

I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby.  I was excited and anxious and could not wait for her to be born.  In my rush to get her born, I barreled right through my pregnancy with blinders on.  No stopping to smell the roses, no embracing the moment.  When my water broke and I was admitted to the hospital and the contractions were starting to hurt like nobody’s business I changed my mind.  I was not ready.  I wanted to have a do over.  Oh yes, I realized the inevitable outcome would still be me laying here in god forsaken pain cursing the powers that be and anybody else I felt deserved it,  which happened to be everybody.  But I wanted to go back and enjoy the time leading up to this torture.  Subsequently,  I did not use the phrase “I can’t wait until..”  with my other pregnancies ….I could and would wait.  Recognizing that it is inevitable and practicing patience you tend to take more from the whole experience.

On second thought, I admit to impatience but only after I was in labor, well drugged and tired of laying there with my legs in those stupid stirrups but it sounded more like ;

Get this THING out of me NOW !!!!  #!**&%$  I can NOT take another minute!!!

Unfortunately,  I didn’t apply this lesson to my entire life until years later after I had time to reflect on it.  I am grateful I was insightful enough at a still quite young age.  Hey..I heard that 40 is the new 20 so I am really on the ball.  I hear new parents saying ” I can not wait until little Tommy can (insert desired achievement here)  and I want to tell them that they can indeed wait and that they should and that while they are waiting they should really enjoy those moments leading up to said achievement.  I am blessed I can apply this knowledge now and not be one that at my time to exit this world looks back and wishes I had not gotten to that point by rushing from milestone to milestone.

Children obviously can not know this or even understand that they have it good as kids.  So trying to tell a kid not to be in a rush to grow up usually results in a comment along the lines of

Yeah Mom, whatever.  What do you know?  You are crazy anyways.

To which I reply

Wait and see young grasshopper, wait and see.

Yes that is a last-ditch attempt of imparting the wisdom of patience but I am doubtful they get it.  Oh well.  I am not one to say I told you so and not in a rush to be able to anyways.

What I would like to know is why being a grown up has to be synonymous with lack of exuberance and spontaneity? I understand the responsibility issue but can we not be responsible and still enjoy things like children do?  Who made up the dumb grown up rules cause I think we need to chat.  I am speaking of this as a blanket rule not on an individual basis.  I will give you an example.

I went to my almost 5 yo son’s preschool fall festival celebration tonight.  The fact that it is referred to as “fall festival” and not what it really is, a  HALLOWEEN PARTY is a matter of an irksome nature that I will surely address at a later date.  Soon I am sure as the holiday season is fraught with these idiotic oh so politically correct redirections.

Image by Miala via Flickr

Anyhow, they had games and activities and a costume parade (see? HALLOWEEN) and of course, candy.  Lots of it.  Candy for prizes and such and candy in the middle of all the tables decorated and for the purpose of sitting to eat the hot dog dinner provided for a nominal fee.  I saw the candy and felt joy. I love candy and the selection was fantastic.  What amazed me though was that I didn’t see any adults eating it.  That didn’t stop me mind you, I mean why else would they put candy on the tables? And I didn’t overindulge, at least by my own standards.  I also shared with my almost 5 yo , who had a fabulous time by the way.  we even discussed the merits of laffy Taffy and compared Milky Ways to Snickers.  I learned that he loves lemon heads.  A long time favorite of mine too and I happily plopped more in his treat bag and basked in my sugar high.   And I marveled and contemplated at the adults.  the ones that I am sure would polish off a whole bag of snickers in the privacy of their own home ( I do that too) but here acted completely oblivious of its presence except to admonish their children who wanted so badly to have some of it to leave it for the people.

Um….What people? WE are the people…you, me them and kids.  Kids are people too.  Damn.  

 Next to me, 5yo and my imaginary friend laughed and told the Mom who said it – “Oh please you know you want to have some of that candy too! What do you think? The gown up police will get you if you remember how to be a kid?  Well they can kiss my ass. ”  Friend can be boisterous sometimes, not sure where the language comes from but it is not really a problem.

I get that if we all had been acting like kids it would have been chaos, as we all are aware of what would happen if we allowed a free for all and that is one of the reasons we grow up and are adults, to keep reason amongst insanity. But I didn’t see anywhere in the rule book that said we had to lose the ability to take joy from the simplest things, like candy or Halloween.  I admittedly haven’t checked for updates and I am pretty sure my book has a few key points and chapters missing.

I did have a moment of feeling bad.  I can’t put my finger on it.  I wasn’t embarrassed per se or ashamed.  It was just an uncomfortable feeling and it most definitely pertained to the fact  I was eating candy.and enjoying it like a kid and my failure to understand the stupid grown up rule correlating to this act.

Grown up rules SUCK and I had a much better time with my child thinking on his level and participating in his childish exuberance than I ever would have acting like a grown up.  So I have no regrets and won’t apologize.  I do have a couple more thoughts on the whole grown up thing but I have a smallish stash of snickers, lemonheads and Laffy Taffy’s in my purse that I think I will eat before I go to bed.

No, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet and yes I will when I am done.  Geesh.

34 thoughts on “Grown Up Rules Suck! ….(or; I like Candy, So What? The Grown Up Police Can Kiss My Ass!.)

  1. So true…I’m not gna lie, I spent my whole life (up until about a year ago) wishing I could.Just.BE.A.DAMN.GROWN.UP….and now that I’m here….I can’t believe how much I want to go back!!! Why is this something we all go through? Why do we always ignore our parents wisdom when they say ‘Enjoy being a wont last long’ I mean seriously…in how many more ways can parents try and show us that adulthood isnt all that great?! I always hated imaturity and was always older than my years…and I’m suddenly enjoying being childish and looking for a moment of innocent irresponsibility wherever I can fit it…

    1. enjoy it 🙂 I admittedly haven;tried too hard to show my kids being a grown up sucks.. but my kids haven;t really been in that big of a hurry to grow up .. maybe there is something to that.

  2. Great Post! I always was looking forward to the day when I could call my own shots, when I was a kid. And nothing brings out the rebelious kid in me more than rules (like the unspoken rule that I’m a good parent because I’m not going eat the children’s “Fall Festival” candy). I would have been eating that candy by the handfuls. I love that you put some in your purse too!!

    I think we’ve reached adulthood when we finally realize that the future is never any better than what’s happening right now! I keep trying to remember that, but it sure is easy to forget!

  3. You totally got my meaning on the feeling bad part. But the thing was I didn’t deprive any kids of candy….it hardly seems fair that you can’t have any just becasuse you are a parent and supposedly grown up. I think you are right about knowing when we have arrived. But it still isn’t easy to act like a grown up if it doesn’t make sense. lol

      1. I see a little difference but it’s still totally you. This one seems to go into a lot more detail than some of your others, but sometimes the others get pretty detailed too. I don’t know, I love your writing any way you do it.

      2. thanks..really? I was thinking maybe I was tryong to hide or I dunno…or maybe cause its about my kids.. or maybe thats all the stuff Ihad to get off my chest to get to the stuff…I was much more formal in the beginning.. IN THE BEGINNING..big voice

  4. Reblogged this on Running Naked With Scissors and commented:

    I thought I would share some of my first posts with you while I get my self together.. Keeping with what is seemingly the theme for this week.. I don”t wanna grow up..or something like that. This is from Halloween – but true for all seasons, I think. Happy Friday!!

  5. Meh. the only concessions I make to adulthood are paying my bills and going to work. Fortunately, I frequently manage to act like a kid at work (you know, the lazy one who always naps. Or blogs).
    Great post, and great idea for any season, LizzieC!

    1. thanks… ya know I think it might be the kid thing..having them that adds the extreme guilt .. of feeling like you should grow up.. pressure may be a better word.. but I have a heck of a lot more fun being a kid with them then being all up.. I can’t figure out what concessions I have made yet… I probably should make some but eh… why

      1. Eh indeed. You’re probably righter than most in making fewer concessions.
        Probably harder to deal with kids too if you expect them to be adults. At least, that’s my guess as someone without kids…

      2. I don’t expect my kids to be adults…hmmm maybe that’s the problem… there is a bit of hypocrisy in being a parent that is more kid like than your kids… I probably should have had 2nd thoughts lol

      1. lol Lizzie and Guapo. You know …. talking about syrup I once “stickied” the whole table when I accidentally dumped the blueberry syrup while looking for their “fake maple” syrup. Boy the waitress wasn’t happy when we had to move to another table (it was that bad).

      2. finger paint yay! and windows double yay! was it her table still? not happy cause you went to a different servers area – or cause ..she still had to deal with such a brat 🙂 lmgao… wish I had been a fly..on the wall..uhh not in the syrup.

  6. This may come as a COMPLETE shock to you, but I have, on occasion, been accused of being ‘immature and childlike’. Whatevsss.
    I’m the one who eats the candy too. And jumps in the Bounce House and spins on the Merry-Go-Round and swings the highest on the swingset…….

    1. Can you come out and play? 🙂 (no no surprise really…I love that about you 🙂 immature and childlike indeed…well WHAT ELSE… our lives would be so much harder if we were grown up ..right? or… who cares let’s get ice cream (non dairy and sugar free of course!)

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