Remember that cell phone commercial a few years ago that was touting the great plan offered by such and so carrier so that you would be able to talk more and cheaper during the holidays?  It showed various situations, typically young adults trying to recreate the family traditions on their own while on the phone with a family member who is explaining how to achieve the desired effect…

I hope so because I have no better way to convey how I felt and still do a bit (for reasons that are the topic of today’s discussion) then to take you back to the one with the young lady cooking her first turkey, as we are led to believe, while her mother, miles away gives her instructions.  Something along the lines of ;

uh huh, uh huh, ok, yeah……huh?  You want me to put my hand in the Wha? And pull out the Wha  what????

I think it was the best commercial of the year and I laughed my ass off at the look on the girls face and her tone of voice.  In the years since, it is the line that goes through my head, even if I try to stop it, when I am faced with anything incredulous, unbelievable, hard to fathom, you get the idea?

 It is my way of saying” Really? Oh Jeez”  It isn’t always the full line mind you, sometimes just the wha what? part covers it but for the really big stuff, I am all into the whole scenario. I may even say it more than once and surely out loud and loudly at that,  if it is Big Badass News.

In case you need a refresher, and since you are reading anyways, even if you don’t, I have a gaggle of kids. The youngest is still in preschool. (bless his sweet little body – and the rest of their sweet little bodies too)  It is important to make sure we are all aware of that fact before I continue.  I have a child in Preschool. Say it with me one time.

I am quite aware of it and now you are too. I am just so wanting you to get the full effect here.  The wha what?…and I don’t want anyone to go away feeling like they didn’t get it all. Because I really really want to share.  I am good like that.  Share the wealth I always say.

Even though I have been a mother for damn near 20 years now, I still forget. By that I mean I forget how old I am.  I have a kid in Preschool.  ( just saying, in case you did not know )  There isn’t much more I can say about it except that I do think sometimes the feeling comes from the fact that every once in a while I still don’t know what the heck I am doing.  Don’t tell me you havent felt it sometimes because I call foul (or maybe I should spell it fowl for today’s purpose)  on that.

 Honestly though, I am not the most ….conventional parent.  I can hardly muddle though my own crap each day to get to theirs.  But I am a good mother for just that I Love my kids fiercely, I listen to them with an open mind and heart , and I accept them for all that they are and aren’t and everything in between. I do the best I can with what I have.  If I had known I had bipolar disorder when I was younger, I might have thought twice about having the gaggle but that is not a matter I feel I need to answer for anymore. File that under if I had known then what I know now…….and I don’t think I should be looked down on for having a mental illness and bringing 6 children into the world.   I think at a later date I will make a list of some of the benefits my kids enjoyed because Mommy was a little cracked. There are some.

On to where we need to be to get to the Wha What?!!!

My 18 yo daughter.  I am wondering now if I had started off that way,  would we be almost to it by now.  But then it wouldn’t have the same effect.  So that is a waste of time to speculate.  I want the effect ..for you.  My 18yo daughter, my love and joy and baby (even though I still have A KID IN PRESCHOOL)  of whom I am infinitely proud, is pregnant.  I am pretty sure most of what I feel about it is normal parental stuff.  And to toot my own horn for a moment, I took the news rather well.  I said ok. I mean, what are ya gonna do?  No point in getting mad, that doesn’t turn back the hands of time and me getting mad would just be ridiculous and hypocritical for various reasons not important to the issue at hand.

She is pregnant and we move on.  She is here with me and I take care of her and rub her belly and try to get the little peanut to kick for me (he never does) and I watch in wonder as my baby grows bigger with her baby.  She has such a beautiful round belly and is positively glowing.  She had the ultrasound and he looks like he will be a handsome boy.  Both his parents are quite striking – the curveball of course being if he inherits their recessive genes.  But no matter he is already loved.  Fiercely.  By his mother, his father and his extended family and very much so, by me.  I can not wait to hold him.  And I surely hope that he is a he wasn’t supposed to be a surprise.  Sorry Love.

It was later I arrived at  the put my hand in the Wha What? after the real full meaning of what my baby having a baby means and I was asked how I fell about being a Grandma……Whaaatt..wha what?  and how did that happen? No I don’t need to know HOW it happened but how is it possible that I am going ot be a Grandma?   Really? I am not nearly old enough to be a GRANDMA and I STILL HAVE A KID IN PRESCHOOL!!!

Do I look like a Grandma?  Oh my goodness there is a big Wha What to pull out here.  I am going to be a grandma.  My calming thought at this point is that if I am a grandma (almost)…then my mother is a great grandma, ( almost).  Somebody always has it worse.  Seriously though and for the sake of concluding this and letting you get on with your normal day, I have come to realize that I am ecstatic about being that word (no offense to grandmas everywhere) just not being called grandma..or Granny..or well anything along those lines yet.  My mom is Nana.  So we are now on a quest to find me a cool, hip, young name that will be what my little peanut grandson will call me. And I always said I would grow old gracefully – forget THAT!

And all my future little peanut grandkids too.  I want to find it soon because I want to talk to my daughters belly and tell the little man his _______________  loves him.  I have had some suggestions and done some looking on Google, found names like MeMaw, MoMo, KiKi…..

But I am open and hoping dear readers who made it this far, that maybe you might have some suggestions for me.   I will be most appreciative.  No matter what, I will certainly let everyone know at some point what it is that I am to be called.  Please, in case you forgot keep in mind as you ponder, I have a kid in preschool still.

As of now I am partial to Coo Coo.  It fits.  Has a nice ring to it too.

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