Dog Balls Feel Funny …………….

What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?
Image via Wikipedia

…..& Other Shit You Learn When You Are Trying to Talk to Your Kids.

Have you ever been talking to your kids about something important, well to you anyways, and realized they didn’t hear a word?

It frustrates me to no end.  I try to not give too much advice and yet sometimes I feel compelled to.  I am a believer in teaching them to make the right choices based on their beliefs and values and then letting them screw up for themselves before I offer advice.  I just have to trust they have learned enough from me what not to do, that they will do the right thing.  Most importantly I want them to make the best choices for them not for anybody else.

Everybody knows that kids learn how to tune out their mothers.  What they hear is similar to the teacher on Charlie Brown Cartoons.  Mwuah mwuah mwuah mwuah mwuah.  I think it is because they are desensitized to the sound of their mother’s voice.  Why else would the phrase “just wait til your father gets home”, be a common household utterance. Because Mom is fed up and knows the kids will listen to Dad.

As a single parent I don’t have the option of such utterances to get my kids to listen.  Sure if its something really obnoxious I might throw the  occasional I’ll call Grandpa or wait til I tell your Uncle but I try to use them sparingly as my Dad has already served his time and my brother has his own kids waiting til he gets home.  Each of them has their way of avoiding hearing me when they are not in the mood to listen.  The most annoying to me by far is my 16 yo son, who will nod his head and act like he cares what I say and then when I am finished say “you are just crazy Mom that is all that is.”  ARRRGGGHHHHH

But my favorite avoidance technique is the random facts I learn when I think I am imparting some great wisdom on my kids.

My 18yo daughter and I were having a discussion this morning which at some point I did not realize turned into a monologue, me being the featured speaker.  I failed to notice when her eyes glazed over and felt like I was giving her some really good advice. I did not see that she was paying more attention to her little puppy sprawled out beside her wanting a belly rub than she was to me.   When I stopped talking and she did not say anything I asked if that made any sense.  Instead of confirmation she looked at me and said…

Dog balls feel funny.”

Well ok then,  another completely random statement to add to the 553,271 I already have.

Glad I could help.


24 thoughts on “Dog Balls Feel Funny …………….

  1. Now that’s a good story! I love that story! I’m looking forward to reading your blog. And with your funny writing and 6 kids for material, I can tell it’s going to be a blast! — Linda

    1. Eh…I do it too. But I have to tell you I read your comment and considered the post it is on…… I for a split second thought you were talking about dog balls. Lol. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it. I used to do it to my ex husband … i think kids love the techniqie cause they can deny you told them anything at all. My son has perfected the techniqie to the point where I don’t get random answers that tell me he isn’t listening, besides the your crazy comment I get the required yes no an no problems. It is when he doesn’t do what I as that it backfires on him…He claims ignorance because, he really WASNT listening. But he indicated to me he was. He is more about instant gratificaition than long term consequesnces. 🙂

  2. Reblogged this on Running Naked With Scissors and commented:

    Because I got caught up with work this morning, I am going to rerun one more this week… This is one of my personal all time favorites. Enjoy. The Mental Moment will be slightly delayed this afternoon as well so please adjust your mental break accordingly. When ? not too late but a little. 🙂

  3. i love your blog! I heart ❤ your blog i really do, although i havent been a single parent for 10 years now, i do still get the "mum you're weird" or "mum what you talking about?" kids huh grr and your daughter about the dog balls… sorry but i quaked that was so random lol

    oh and its ok because i too reread cardinal guzmans reply twice thinking he was on about balls.

    keep on posting 🙂 i think you are great having so many teenagers in your life and being a single mom

    1. thank you so much 🙂 I’m glad I wasn;t the only one that had to go back on that ..
      I got a whole range of kids 20 to 5 and then my grand baby who is three months..
      I have a lot of help and support. but it gets a little tough sometimes not having a go to back up .. 🙂

  4. I feel your pain! My kids do this to me all of the time! Yesterday, I was explaining why putting a toilet seat down is a good idea. My seven-year-old then informed me that his friend farted during testing that morning. The entire toilet seat saga was promptly ignored.

    1. oh – diversion and misdirecton… yeah mom heard you but hey listen to this so you think I didn’t cause I don;t think I will remember that then I can;t get in trouble… 🙂 am I close?

      1. oh yea and in my ignorance I allowed them to watch it and ruined them for life and look what I have to deal with… I dunno… they got it from their dad (s) I think and tv..the tv they were allowed to watch at their dads…yea!

    1. you have that much faith in me? really? I want to tell you you shouldn’t and to go try it yourself..either / or … but I think that;s pretty cool you take my word for it 🙂

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