A Case of Headupassitis, I May Need a Crowbar, and Authority

 

Colonel Paul “Crowbar” Corbin

Colonel Paul “Crowbar” Corbin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Not for me silly.   I just had a marvelous epiphany.  Well really it sucked, but it .. actually two separate ones .. they both sucked.  And its the perpetrators of said thoughts to reach epiphany,,that suck, I mean have headupassitis.

 

I don;t know what else it could possibly be.  I had it once a long time ago, and I have seen the damage caused by the long-term cases who, are so far gone , or up it as it were that there isn’t much hope of seeing the light again.

 

If you think you might have headupassitis, the best thing to do is to slow down take a gander at your surroundings and do not go past where you are stuck, without greasing the wheels …er ..  um without ,,holy crap I got myself into a pile of ….

 

Ok I need to think a minute.  I am indeed writing this right now as you read it.  Not now now ,I wrote it like 20 minutes ago. What I am saying is I am writing it while you read it.  The way you are reading it and with the same hmmmm wonder what is coming next kind of thought.  

 

That would be assuming which one should never do in fact I just told someone who they should not assume anything… actually I quoted their advice and threw it, or really typed it gently back at them.,

 

I was the rubber…  I am the    :-0

 

I’m not the glue.    Not the glue which sounds so much better than I am the Rubber… right?

 

Back to the topic at hand,where I was about to assume and caught myself at the exact moment that I was going to swear that I never swear, but you all know I do and the thing is, I shouldn’t assume you wonder what is coming next,

 

I could take a leap and think if you have been here a while, you are aware that predicting that is near to impossible and often times I know it as soon as you do, well within the same parameters we spoke of earlier.

 

Maybe you have office polls ..or pools?  An office pool would be cool wouldn’t it?  To be able to just dive right in if you get hot and need a break.  Speaking of diving, guess what I learned today?  I will tell you but I can;t tell you exactly

 

Pool

Pool and jumping – Bungee Diving?  uhPool (Photo credit: Travis S.)

 

how although it was all on Twitter step by step which was more like a bounce or three…

 

Bungee jumping  is not really jumping, it is diving.  True Story  Bungee Diving

 

I heard from an authority.  That isn;t really the word I want because authority is not the right word.  I misplaced once again the proper word that I seek.  I actually think the air conditioner ate it but I will get that thing sooner or later.  or Never.

 

Ummm ..oh the authority …  the authority of bungee jumping, is not so much an authority as a big kid who maybe wants a pony and has an uncanny ability to  bring  a smile and  laughter to a day that was frowning.   What you think a day can not frown?  Mine can and do sometimes – just a fact not whining and the authority Bungee Jumper. let;s make a ne super hero – and we shall call him (say this in a Captain Caveman voice – you remember who I mean?

 

Captain BJ  Captain Caveman

 

uh

 

How about Captain Authority?  that’s better..

 

(neither the good Captain or trusty sidekick..  wait I think the sidekick is the hero (ine) and the he is the sidekick… hmmm they are each others sidekick?  um well yes anyways..there is NO Headupassitis there..with them I mean.. I think I have them here in the middle for balance..    nothing but cool beans with those two.., for real.,  And the tale of the bungee..oh..

 

I would dearly love to tell you what I know of  the tale but it isn’t my tail..

 

Only monkeys have tails.

 

No tail not a monkey, even if it has a monkey kind of shape.

 

Many people think that the shape of the head has much to do with the severity of headupassitis although it isn’t proven, it is logical.  Kind of along the lines of the bigger they are, the bigger they are.   And they fall harder than too.

 

There is really no danger for having headupassitis and not getting cured unless an unusually large asshole is involved, then the possibility of never ever seeing the light is real.  I don’t care how hard you pry on that crowbar.  .  And  it has been known to come in phases.,  Certain age groups, and sex, is something that gets it quite often…

 

Sometimes all it takes is a gentle nudge and we are free of the illness and sometimes it takes a movement of epic proportions rectify the situation.

 

There are three really good indicators that headupassitis may be the culprit;

 

  1. a problem with no foreseeable solution but tucked neatly in a bun..  you are taken with the bun and refuse to take it outside the bun.  Or look at an alternative solution.
  2. a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit but you are looking only from one, possibly two angles then saying its the wrong [puzzle
  3. something stinks and you can’t put your finger on it.

 

If you notice these symptoms and also that you have the urge to either apologize for something not your fault or point fingers when you are responsible and no amount of anyone talking your ear off will make you see anything any differently for longer than four hours straight, this is a weird  emergency and should be treated with  care, please proceed to the hospital.

 

 Nobody wants a four-hour block of pointed confusion.  because that is all it is.  Confusion yours and mine and who the hell knows who else’s?  If I tried to name names then I would be assuming,  Isnt that how we got here in the first place?

 

Not the topic itself just the other crap about it.

 

ok well here is where I apologize and either it isn’t mine to say sorry about or I will find a clever way to make it all someone else s problem.  Or I could amaze and amuse (not to mention confuse ) you all by doing both.  At which time if I do indeed suffer headupassitis, everything will suddenly slip into place and I will once again be running free (and Naked) with my scissors.  I just sharpened them too..

 

But here is where if you are paying attention you are totally confused, right?

 

Welcome to my world, let the pieces sit in your mind and one day they will make sense.  Or not.

 

Ok well I feel like a hundred bucks and funny how when you don’t think about the puzzles pieces they suddenly drop into place.  For good or bad.. but for th light to shine

 

Yup its all roses now. It wasn’t really me that has this sickness, Some others that needed figuring out and heading out of the tunnel vision…  well never-mind.. it’s not here anyways.

 

ANd no crowbar necessary.   I’ll keep it here just for fun.  Maybe it will give me some leverage.

 

get it…?  ha ha..leverage crow bar…

 

Sometimes I crack myself up.

 

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6 responses to “A Case of Headupassitis, I May Need a Crowbar, and Authority

    • oh it is for most people who are able to see the issue…

      Captain Authority IS quite fascinating… a bit of a mystery he is… not sure how out he is with his secret identity and stuff.. so suffice it to say… he and his sidekick who is really not the sidekick – you know what I mean… are just two of the coolest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing… smart too.. funny and never cheat at Jenga. I just hope that they don;t go for capes… NO CAPES… ug…

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