***I got a super duper special treat tonight folks Snaapy style – that’s GingerSnaap! my SFDMNM (you will figure it out soon enough trust me ) as a Monday night guest blogger treat … ***
SO we have noticed a trend lately – a rather exciting one. A whole lot of people want to be just like us. And who wouldn’t? But the rush to be us has caused some confusion on all kinds of fronts – more for us than anyone but that’s not what we are for focusing on. Not today. Probably not ever if we can just keep diverting attention to other things like…..trends. US. (see how that works? we diverted the attention away from us and then right back around to us – it’s called circular diversion… you don’t remember what we don’t want to focus on (neither do we ,cause we don’t always focus so much..good..yea ) but you are once again focused on US. That was cool right? )
We get lots of comments everyday like “You think you are so cool?” “What’s so great about you?” “Who made you boss?” Granted they are mostly from our kids, we have ……4..7…9….10! between the two of us. Just doin our part to continue the human race…..
Hey Ginger, we don’t have to tell them we aren’t sure they are all human right? I mean ……
Ummmmmm Lizzie? We are live here, Oh my GAWD…..
Crap! Smile pretty - flip your hair or something Ginger, that ALWAYS works… it’s sooo pretty…..and…shiny…. like a butterfly……
I know right? But Lizzie, I NEVER flip my hair in public. And Lizzie, your hair is nice too and ..in fact it’s really nice today…such a pretty color is that new? And..shiny.. like a sparly colorful catepillar…….
**THIS SILENCE IS INTENTIONALLY HERE**
(not really but we gotta put something while we get the girls back on point!)
OK, back to US-
Lizzie & Ginger,
Cracked and Snaap…..
The first step to being like us is to talk like us…
We are texting, twittering, blogging kinda girls and words are our friends. The real truth is - you can’t BE us you can only hope to bask in the light of our coolness, and learn as much as you can so that when we rule the world - and it is coming folks make no mistake- we will keep you.
Step 1: (there is no other steps but just in case… then we can go on with step 2..see that ? Cool right? ) Talk the TEXT . Yes we have our own little language and we are sick and tired of spelling out the things we like to hear ourselves say all. the. time. SO we have here a list of text lingo that we shall start using immediately. Please print it and refer to it when we text, tweet, stalk, comment or otherwise grace you with our …. um should we say wisdom?
do you think?
We ARE wise, right? And even if …well they need to think we are if we are going to rule the world without an uprising….
shhhh of course there won’t be an uprising – they LOVE us….we are a trend on Twitter….or will be as soon as we are done here and I tweet that we are…… Look how we made Guaptastic famous ….. if we can do THAT we can certainly rule the world…… (but lately, I am not sure he has earned our adoration- I had to revoke the CupCakes Lizzie because he told Hobbler I was a stalker. He’s getting mean. He sounds like EH sometimes. Don’t tell them I said that, ok?)
:-( I only got 5 cupcakes…
When we grace you with our wisdom.
that did sound good
A-hem, let us move on, shall we?
The LizzieCracked/ GingerSnaap un-abridged Texting/Twitter/Blogging/Stalking Lingo.
In Pocket Form
HOS -Husband over shoulder. All this chick wants to do is check out that new site on WordPress with Cute russian male models & he’s all like ‘who is that’. GO AWAYYYYY
PYP -Pee your pants
LSHIP- Laughed so hard I peed myself
SOL- Not shit outta luck- Snort Out Loud.
BRBGCTP- Be right back gotta change tinkle panties
NCE- Nostril coffee explosion
SWA -Snort with attitude/authority
ERP- Eyes rolling puleeze
PDM – Polka dot monkeys
HUA – Head up ass
DUM – Danger unmedicated
OOR- Out of Ritalin
OOK – Out of Klonpin
ICGMBL – I could give a monkey’s butt less
SE- Suck eggs
STB – Spinless twat blob
DFS – Damn fine skippy
EBD – Emotional brain dump
SMK – Stupid meddling kids
KDA – Kiss dis ass
YBR – You betta run
YCDT – You can DO that?
NTA – No tail – ape
NTNAM – No tail not a monkey
BOAF – Birds of a feather
BSOB – Bright side of bipolar
SFDMNM – Sister from a different mister n mom
WBY – Wasn’t born yesterday
CSC – Crazy Stalker Chick
HSC- Hawt Stalker Chick
YWIWSY- You wish I would stalk you
BBW – Big butt wipe
JMT – Jedi mind trick
LMGAO – Laughing my glittery ass off
DDD – Dorkiest dork dorker
CTT -Can’t touch this
RWFFB – Real women for fake boobies
DNLT – Dorks need love too
INAH – I need a hero
OLAB – Oh look! A butterfy
GCC – Gratuitous crack check – it’t the polite thing to do
ITPTTD- It’s the polite thing to do
GOMY- Get off my lawn
GOMI- Get off my internets
LAYL– Laugh at you later
BP- Bitch please
OMGIF-. Oh my gawd, involuntary flatulance
NNMOFB.- Not now, mommy on FaceBook
CHA -Chin Hair Alert
COL/R. -Cougar on Left/Right
WOMM -Warning Off My Meds
DTHC- Drink Til He’s Cute
MJA- Mom Jeans Alert
BHPU-. Bad Hair Product User
PMS- Pass My Shotgun
PMMS -Pre meditated muder suspect
OOPP.- Out of potato chips
ROFCMEO- Rolling on floor crying my eyes out
IWRA- I wanna run away
HSOTCT- He’s sleeping on the couch tonite.
LYLAS- Love ya like a slut
BFF- Best Fake Friend
POS -Poison on shelf (for the partners in crime getting ready to off their husbands who are HOS)
WWJD. -What would Jedi’s do
NSFY- No sex for you
NSE- Not Shiny Enough
TTYL- Trash talk you later.
GUAP- Grown up and peculiar
EH- Excitable heathen
ADHD – Absolutely Divine and Hawt Diva
For those of you who wish to join the club,there will be a quiz later.