You Wanna Walk the Walk? You gotta Talk the Text….lingo


***I got a super duper special treat tonight folks Snaapy style – that’s GingerSnaap! my SFDMNM  (you will figure it out soon enough trust me :-)  )  as a Monday night guest blogger treat …  ***

SO we have noticed a trend lately – a rather exciting one.  A whole lot of people want to be just like us.  And who wouldn’t?  But the rush to be us has caused some confusion on all kinds of fronts – more for us than anyone but that’s not what we are for focusing on.  Not today. Probably not ever if we can just keep diverting attention to other things like…..trends.  US.  (see how that works?  we diverted the attention away from us and then right back around to us – it’s called circular diversion… you don’t remember what we don’t want to focus on  (neither do we ,cause we don’t always focus so much..good..yea ) but you are once again focused on US.  That was cool right?  )  

We get lots of comments everyday like “You think you are so cool?”  “What’s so great about you?”  “Who made you boss?”  Granted they are mostly from our kids, we have ……4..7…9….10! between the two of us.  Just doin our part to continue the human race…..

Hey  Ginger,  we don’t have to tell them we aren’t sure they are all human right?  I mean ……  

Ummmmmm Lizzie?  We are live here, Oh my GAWD…..

Crap!  Smile pretty  - flip your hair or something Ginger,  that ALWAYS works…  it’s sooo pretty…..and…shiny….  like a butterfly……

I know right?  But Lizzie, I NEVER flip my hair in public. And Lizzie, your hair is nice too and ..in fact it’s really nice today…such a pretty color is that new?  And..shiny..  like a sparly colorful catepillar…….

**THIS SILENCE IS INTENTIONALLY HERE**
(not really but we gotta put something while we get the girls back on point!)

 OK, back to US-

 Lizzie & Ginger,

 Cracked and Snaap…..

 The first step to being like us is to talk like us…

We are texting, twittering, blogging kinda girls and words are our  friends. The real truth is  - you can’t BE us you can only hope to bask in the light of our coolness,  and learn as much as you can so that when we rule the world - and it is coming folks make no mistake-  we will keep you.

Step 1:   (there is no other steps but just in case…  then we can go on with step 2..see that ?  Cool right? )    Talk the TEXT  .  Yes we have our own little language and we are sick and tired of spelling out the things we like to hear ourselves say all. the. time.  SO we have here a list of text lingo that we shall start using immediately.  Please print it and refer to it when we text, tweet, stalk,  comment or otherwise grace you with our ….  um should we say wisdom?

  do you think?

 We ARE wise,  right? And even if …well they need to think we are if we are going to rule the world without an uprising….

shhhh of course there won’t be an uprising – they LOVE us….we are a trend on Twitter….or will be as soon as we are done here and I tweet  that we are……  Look how we made Guaptastic famous ….. if we can do THAT we can certainly rule the world…… (but lately, I am not sure he has earned our adoration- I had to revoke the CupCakes Lizzie because he told Hobbler I was a stalker. He’s getting mean. He sounds like EH sometimes. Don’t tell them I said that, ok?)

 :-(  I only got 5 cupcakes…  

When we grace you with our wisdom.

  that did sound good

A-hem, let us  move on, shall we?

The LizzieCracked/ GingerSnaap un-abridged Texting/Twitter/Blogging/Stalking Lingo.

2012 Version

In Pocket Form

HOS -Husband over shoulder. All  this chick wants to do is check out that new site on WordPress with Cute russian male models & he’s all like ‘who is that’. GO AWAYYYYY

PYP -Pee your pants

LSHIP- Laughed so hard I peed myself

SOL- Not shit outta luck- Snort Out Loud.

BRBGCTP- Be right back gotta change tinkle panties

NCE- Nostril coffee explosion

SWA -Snort with attitude/authority

ERP- Eyes rolling puleeze

PDM – Polka dot monkeys

HUA – Head up ass

DUM – Danger unmedicated

OOR- Out of Ritalin

OOK – Out of Klonpin

ICGMBL – I could give a monkey’s butt less

SE- Suck eggs

STB – Spinless twat blob

DFS – Damn fine skippy

EBD – Emotional brain dump

SMK – Stupid meddling kids

KDA – Kiss dis ass

YBR – You betta run

YCDT – You can DO that?

NTA – No tail – ape

NTNAM – No tail not a monkey

BOAF – Birds of a feather

BSOB – Bright side of bipolar

SFDMNM – Sister from a different mister n mom

WBY – Wasn’t born yesterday

CSC – Crazy Stalker Chick

HSC- Hawt Stalker Chick

YWIWSY- You wish I would stalk you

BBW – Big butt wipe

JMT – Jedi mind trick

LMGAO – Laughing my glittery ass off

DDD – Dorkiest dork dorker

CTT -Can’t touch this

RWFFB – Real women for fake boobies

DNLT – Dorks need love too

INAH – I need a hero

OLAB – Oh look! A butterfy

GCC – Gratuitous crack check – it’t the polite thing to do

ITPTTD- It’s the polite thing to do

GOMY- Get off my lawn

GOMI- Get off my internets

LAYL– Laugh at you later

BP- Bitch please

OMGIF-. Oh my gawd, involuntary flatulance

NNMOFB.- Not now, mommy on FaceBook

CHA -Chin Hair Alert

COL/R. -Cougar on Left/Right

WOMM -Warning Off My Meds

DTHC- Drink Til He’s Cute

MJA- Mom Jeans Alert

BHPU-. Bad Hair Product User

PMS- Pass My Shotgun

PMMS -Pre meditated muder suspect

 OOPP.- Out of potato chips

 ROFCMEO- Rolling on floor crying my eyes out

 IWRA- I wanna run away

 HSOTCT- He’s sleeping on the couch tonite.

 LYLAS- Love ya like a slut

 BFF- Best Fake Friend

 POS -Poison on shelf (for the partners in crime getting ready to off their husbands who are HOS)

 WWJD. -What would Jedi’s do

 NSFY- No sex for you

 NSE- Not Shiny Enough

 TTYL- Trash talk you later.

 GUAP- Grown up and peculiar

 EH- Excitable heathen

ADHD – Absolutely Divine and Hawt Diva

 For those of you who wish to join the club,there will be a quiz later.

In essay form.
 #2 pencils only please.
No cheating.
Only very shiny people may apply.
You are probably not shiny enough.
YOU, sir, are definitly NOT shiny enough.
Nope.
GALF- Ginger and Lizzie Forever
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80 responses to “You Wanna Walk the Walk? You gotta Talk the Text….lingo

  1. What a bummer….WordPress just dumped a whole paragraph of comments from me! So, I’ll try again….

    Cracked and Snaap…. No, I’m not shiny at all, but I don’t feel guilty about it at all, either. ISILSHIP* Great Stuff (Stuff is my euphemism for “stuff”…wink, wink…) I won’t be taking the quiz (why bother? I can’t be you anyway, you said…), but I did wonder…why do you need English at all? You seem to have an acronym for every conceivable human interaction listed…. Really funny post, though, seriously. (And the last of that, you can be sure! Serious, I mean….)

    *ISILSHIP I Swear I Laughed So Hard I Puked (I thought it was obvious, but for clarity’s sake….)

    Oh, by the way…. you and Snaap are welcome to rule the world…. as soon as I am done with it. I’ve been planning and executing my campaign to become Emperor of the Entire Bloody Planet since before you were a gleam in your daddy’s eye, and I have no intention of stopping now. Never fear, I’ll leave it in better shape than I found it, count on it….and who knows? I’ll be getting rid of all the troublemakers and assholes, so you’ll be able to move right in with no fuss…..

    That’s all for now… you guys take care out there, and Blessed Be…..

    • Wowwwww cool! Ginger he is pretty smart – kinda figured us out :-) I think maybe we should let him go first? Ruling the world I mean – it might just be easier to move in – I mean he did say we could have it after he is done and he has been on a quest since….how long? oh wow a ling time…..what do you think???

      How long do you plan on ruling the world sir? Just Curious :-)

      • Ladies…..Ohh, not too long….Really, just long enough to ace all those assholes on my list, stop the ozone depletion & major polluters, get folks back on a track to survival, instead of self-immolation, and you know, terrorize a few petty dictators and nasty billionaires who put up resistance….just the basics…. you can have it after I finish, which shouldn’t take too long, as hey, absolute power, right? I’m already 61, and have waited too long already, and my time is limited on the back end. I don’t want to spend my ENTIRE retirement at this, so, let’s say, what, 3 or 4 years? Then, I’ll just appoint you two to a joint rule as my successors, and you won’t have to fuss at all…. I’ll retire to my country estates and chase young debutantes around the pool until I croak…. easy money, yes?….until the revolution, then…..Namaste….

        Oh, it’s my ISP that is malfunctioning, not WP….sorry this took so long….had to wait until morning, and it’s still not right yet…here’s hoping this works….I’m gonna hit the button now…..

      • well it must have worked :-) you are brave to go with the whole paragraph before hitting post…. it;s a pretty sweet offer – I will have to consult with Ginger of course – we will get back to you. :-)

      • Lizzie, I think I am ok with Gigoid ruling first- you know it’s the ‘age before beauty’ mantra. That way, he can do all of the dirty work since we are too pretty to get dirty and stuff. I don’t like to get dirty Lizzie or deal with assholes, polluters or pretty dictators, so I would rather if he did that for us and then we swoop in and take the credit, m’kay?

  2. So THIS is who the new One World Order is going to be!! No wonder every one is saying the world will never be the same!!

    Dang and I have to learn a new language and I don’t even have the english language mastered. I can be shiney though and I have been known to have a glittery ass. (It was halloween and I got really drunk, I went as an angel and …… Maybe material for a post some day).

    Love the acronyms !! Lol I have one. IIWAPIP. If I was a puppy I’d piddle.

    LAYL
    Carrie

    • awesome! I coulda sworn you had a glittery ass award….no? I could be wrong I can;t keep all those things straight… a little secret – I don;t have them all memorized – I think GInger doesn;t either..shhh don;t tell anyone but that;s why we made it a handy dandy pocket version! I am so behind on catching up – I;ve missed visiting over your way but I shall be there sooooooon :-) PDM Lizzie

    • I just have to caution there are some common ones that on our page here – mean uncommon things – so now not only do you need to reference the acronym…you need to look at the context….its all about making life easier :-)

      • LOL! I realized that after I re-read the post, but hey, I’m a luddite at this whole texting, twitter thing *shrugs*

        I just link wordpress to everything and forget about it ;-)

  3. So sparkly. So shiny.
    On behalf of concerned GUAPs everywhere, I believe Joan and Melissa should have a look at this.
    Just in case the glitter isn’t up to spec…

    And no matter how many times I read this post, I laugh myself silly(er)!

    • lol – you got that little reference in there didn’t you? I wasn’t happy about my cupcakes I am wiling to overlook it this time but let’s keep it in check ok? At the very least when there are cupcakes…or donuts…or any kind of lovely treats involved…. wait til they are gone… I was just ready to bite into number 6..snatched it right out of my hand and all cause you had to go and call her a stalker….exuberant… HSC ..YWSWSY..or something like that… I got my HUA, having a NCE, NTA, NTNAM, and there was this… OLAB! pretty…

  4. Hahahahaha! Hilarious. You guys rock and you should have your own T.V. show to boot!

    HTIGEFTLAGTS:

    Hey! This is funny enough for the Lizzie and Ginger Televison Show! (Ok, I’ll admit it’s a little long.)

    Seriously did you make all those up? They’re hilarious. MJA! Haha! DTC Haha! just all of then soooooo funny!

  5. TFF (Too – or Two, if you prefer Freakin Funny)…
    and wysiwyg, don’t forget wysiwyg…

    namaste you crazoid crazowd!!!

    =)) :)) *rotflmao* =)) :)) *rotflmao* =)) :)) *rotflmao* =)) :)) *rotflmao*

  6. Pingback: She Said/He Said – Shoes | Guapola·

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